MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Anyone got any polite-ish ways to get rid of house guests,regretting agreeing to the stay already.
P.S the person in question hasn't arrived yet
Unexpected business trip
Or, Gastroenteritis
That said, how long for?
Just say' Right, how long were you thinking of staying?'
Regardless of the answer, just say 'Ooooh no, far too long, I'll be fed up of you by then, I think X days/X hours is long enough before I kill you both' then stare at them just long enough to be uncomfortable.
It's your house; don't get dicked over.
who are they to you ?
who else lives with you and what do they think ?
I feel your pain.
Mrs sparky's parents - you're stuffed. Whatever you say before, during and after their visitation will be wrong.
Move out now, it's the kindest thing to do.
As they turn up, give them a big smile and say 'Tonight's dogging night! Get changed quick and we'll meet you in the car in 10 minutes'.
If they run away, job done.
If they join you, you might find a cheap new hobby you can all enjoy together.
1. Have a normal conversation.
2. Slowly walk towards the door then ask the person to come along ...
3. Then slowly open the door while still chatting then say you want to check the front door ...
4. Now chat outside the house ...
5 Then you say it's late and you need to rest for the day ...
6. Say see you tomorrow etc ... job done.
😆
p/s: I learn this trick from an old geezer when doing door-to-door sales where he invited me in then without realising what's going on I was outside the door in the court yard ... still thinking of closing the deal ... 😆
Why as a nation are we so obsessed with sensitivities about other people's feelings?
It's your house, tell them when they are expected to leave.
Its the brother of my ex,I live by myself(and enjoy the freedom),and I manage to put up with him.Agreed to let him stay for 2 weeks until he gets a place of his own.He works fulltime but is always skint.I have made it clear he has 2 weeks,but I know he won't sort a place of his own out by then.
Curse my good nature(usually well hidden)
Wow, I wouldn't even let my own brother stay here for 2 weeks!
sparkyrhino - MemberIts the brother of my ex,I live by myself(and enjoy the freedom),and I manage to put up with him.Agreed to let him stay for 2 weeks until he gets a place of his own.He works fulltime but is always skint.I have made it clear he has 2 weeks,but I know he won't sort a place of his own out by then.
Curse my good nature(usually well hidden)
Just tell him you have helped him enough and he needs to move on.
No need to be polite but with respect.
In the meantime make sure you lock your bedroom door and hide all valuables ...
Oh ya ... no pussy footing ... just tell him in the face.
Falling that while he is asleep smash his head with war hammer ... then tell the police your were playing Viking invasion. 😈
I like the Vicking part, but not the invasion part
When it's time for him to leave just set fire to the sofa bed while he's still asleep on it—actions speak louder than words 🙂
Viking even
tell him you have other visitors coming in two weeks so he needs to have moved on.
fish and visitors smell after two days in our house.
Put black marker pen round the liquid level on your bottles of scotch, turn in early. When you find some gone 'Thief! begone from this house'
No seriously I'd mark your scotch, anyway, or whatever your poison.
Wow brother of your ex for two weeks! I wouldn't have any of my family over for that long and no effin way would I welcome any in lwas for that long-It'd be very uncharacteristically generous of me to let them stay at all!
MTFU and tell him to fark off!!
What you need, Sparkles, is a diplomatic acquaintance or two to pop round.
I know a couple of ex-pit fitters that may be able to help you out. 😉
ahh 9 digit Chip,havn't you got a spare room at your house??
Of course, I'll mention it to the wife when she gets in from work tomorrow morning.
cheers, he's house trained I think(hope)
Say to him before he gets over the door threshold, "you've got two weeks- right?"?.
Mate of mine turned up at 2.30am the other weekend, pissed out of his head and expecting to stay the night after banging on the door and waking me up, he couldn't get a taxi to take him home (very rural galloway area) and expected me to put him up, i gave him my bivi bag and said he could sleep in the front garden.
[IMG] 
[/IMG]
Stop moaning and be nice. You're obviously a very nice chap as you offered in the first place and he obviously needs someone to help him out. So be happy you're banking some karma points and look for ways you can enjoy yourself together for two weeks in the nice weather.
Plenty of banked karma, married to his sister for 10 years.;-)
Talk about what you used to get up to with his sister in great detail
I'm sure it'll make him feel very uneasy and he'll leave quickly
If he doesn't he's weird
ElShalimo - Member
Talk about what you used to get up to with his sister in great detail
I'm sure Mick and I could help you break the ice, steer the conversation in the right direction.
Lights off, door locked and phone off. They should get the hint...
2 weeks will be 2 months if you're not careful......
when you've decide you've had enough...
just lean in for a kiss 😉
Have his bags packed for him at the end of the 2 week period. You can present them to him with a nice "the pleasures been all yours, please don't think this kind of thing is ever going to happen again". You can also have the contact details of the Sally Army ready, to fend off any moans of "but where will I go?". Then change the door locks immediately. You're welcome. 😀
Ensure he knows its 2 weeks - MAXIMUM on entry to your humble abode ..
You owe him nothing 8)
Why as a nation are we so obsessed with sensitivities about other people's feelings?
Amen to that.
Get one of those really large calendars that garages have pinned up, with nice big clear dates marked, outline the appropriate two weeks with a fat felt pen, and cross out each day, in a really obvious manner. 😀
Do the above, but pin little voodoo dolls on it, in increasingly gruesome death scenes. That should do the trick 🙂
Has he got there yet, Sparkles?
Nope not yet, i'm out networking on his behalf( out on the razz) , think ive sorted a more permanant address for him result
Could be worse, my housemate moved his bit on the side in without saying anything, all of a sudden the most obnoxious woman in the world was in my house! Apparently cheating on your girlfriend is 'an interesting moral dilemma'. Idiot.
Could be worse, my housemate moved his bit on the side in without saying anything, all of a sudden the most obnoxious woman in the world was in my house! Apparently cheating on your girlfriend is 'an interesting moral dilemma'. Idiot.
If that had been my house, they'd have come back next day to find their possessions in bags out front and the locks changed!
EVICTED,wheres he gone, you may ask.He's gone to mooch of someone else.
the damage- 2 stains on carpet,1 broken toilet flush handle and 1 broken cup linked to stain.Not to mention 2 weeks of sizzling conversation.
Kaftan Time, ahh bliss.
Excellent, I always enjoy resolution to threads. Enjoy!
Mr rhino sir, you do have the most marvellous stw name.
Well done with your guest, btw!
Please can I submit this to 'Jim'll paint it'?
Jim can you paint a sparkly Rhino relaxing in a kaftan as an unwanted house guest goes out the door leaving a broken cup and two carpet stains.
I think it would be an awesome picture!
Cheers
Spangly hippo 😀
Stealth EDIT: just realised it's SparkyRhino 🙁 and I may or may not have had a beer or two...
just to complete the picture the kaftan is dark blue tie dyed of course,and I like a swift pint of crème de menth when in kaftan mode 
Sorry about the toilet handle...