…for maybe a week or two.
All I’m going to get is “isn’t it noisy,isn’t it hot aren’t the roads bumpy,that chicken half a mile away kept me up all night”
The telly will be stuck on ITV moron +1 and im going to lose what little hair I have left.
Mrs Zip has even suggested that Mr Moany Northerner bring his helmet so I can’t even escape on my bike.
Anyone got a shed I can hide in?

Anyone got a shed I can hide in?

I will swap you lodgings in a shed, if you can clarify what the bloody hell you’re going on about.

bayyyyyyy, (melchett) get some drinks down everyone.

If they’re guests and that bad why did you invite them?

…for maybe a week or two.

That sounds like an unspecified duration, could be months.

They invited themselves and I’ve lived in denial these past few weeks but reality has come crashing down upon me.

Is there still time to have an “accident” requiring your immediate evacuation to hospital?

Mr Moany Northerner bring his helmet so I can’t even escape on my bike.

I’m sorry, but I really wasn’t aware I was coming to stay. What time am I meant to be there?

we need details. Relatives I take it, the wifes sister and her husband perchance? I can’t see anyone being so horrible about their own blood.

Mrs Zip has even suggested that Mr Moany Northerner bring his helmet so I can’t even escape on my bike.

Get to the nearest hill, then drop him like a stone… 😈

I bet they’re really looking forward to seeing you.

It’s someone my wife trained with years ago.
No way is it her sister and husband, he has been officially banned from my house. Long story and no doubt I will recount it to you all tonight while we watch Plants Do The Silliest Things with Chris **** Tarrant.

Take him down the lariest, steepest, most dangerous descent.
Then go to the pub for a beer.

Mrs Zip has even suggested that Mr Moany Northerner bring his helmet so I can’t even escape on my bike.

Does that mean he’d be needing to borrow a bike? If so, break something that you’ve wanted to get replaced for a while on your spare bike… Win-win as Mrs Zip will either say “get it repaired then” or you won’t have to ride with Mr Moany Northener…

They’re staying for an indeterminate period of time? No need to rush back to work then? I think I know who it is….

Dont then, just put a film on. Or have a conversation, or leave and go fix/clean your bike. your house, do what you want.

Take him down the lariest, steepest, most dangerous descent.

This, dissuasion by mind boggling peril and tech. Then follow it up with “Don’t worry, this is just a warm up, it gets really interesting on the next hill.”

Stato, I do plan on painting the fence very slowly.
Maybe this time we will find out exactly how they manage to get through so much toilet paper. Or maybe we’d rather not. 🙁

I’m confused.

Some people you barely know and don’t like are coming to live with you for an indeterminate period of time?

Insert that Malcolm Reynolds .gif here.

You sound like a moaning get yourself tbh, maybe you’ll get on 😉

Patriot, there is such a thing as a justified moan.
This forum wouldn’t exist without moaners.
Ps I’ll give them your address!

Go out on the bike. Take a notepad. If they follow, show massive enthusiasm and excitement as you don’t normally get company when pursuing your favourite hobby, then cycle to the railway station and spend the day train-spotting.

Take him into the basement and own him with bombers. Do you need to relay your patio at all? 😈

Think about all the things that make it nice to go home to after a holiday.. comfy bed , nice cup of tea , no strange noises in the night . \
then follow this up with a full scale psychological wargame of getting everything wrong.
tepid water in the shower,
turning on the washing machine whilst they are showering hot/cold/hot/cold.
‘You did say 3 sugars didnt you?’
remove 1 chair from the living room and replace with a wooden school chair
sit in between them in an uncomfortable Alan Partridge style on the sofa
give them over diluted squash to drink with dinner
Cook the same meal every night for a week
‘break’ the TV remote or nobble the sky dish so you can only watch an awful pixelated jumpy mess instead of DeadEnders
suddenly run out of deoderant and clean socks
go for a nice walk , round the industrial estate and past the dump/ dogging car park
have extra loud monkey sex with your wife/self
run out of loo roll, and clean dry fluffy towels
Buy the cheapest Lager you can find , then serve it warm
they will be gone in 5 days.
‘

Singletrackmind, what you doing tonight?!

Can I be the first to suggest…

[list]Sprocketjockey I’ll see if its ok with the Mrs.

😀

Singletrackmind, what you doing tonight?!

Sorting out the beer order for the Big Bike Bash and trying to better last years range of styles and ABV’s 😀

Sorting out the beer order for the Big Bike Bash and trying to better last years range of styles and ABV’s

Give these guys a shout I guarantee it’ll be loved.

http://www.anarchybrewco.com

So we’ve had 3 days to prepare for it and Heatmageddon is upon us.
They’ve studied all the weather reports to see if there’s a breeze or not.
So last night I got the comfy garden chairs ready, nailed the brolly into the grass so it wouldn’t blow over and they could have some shade…
but no it will be too hot to go out they are going to stay in and watch 24 hours in a&e they recorded last night. Then they just have to sit it out til the cool arrives tomorrow.
I’m starting to see the funny side to it now. 1 more day, its only 1 more day.

Can you not just go out on your bike? I’m sure they can manage to watch 24 hours in a&e without supervision. You’re not their carer, are you?

Thankfully I’m at work with 3 ginormous boxes of Christmas cards to check off and price.
Honestly you would think the world was going to end just because the sun has come and it’s 30 .

Cougar –

I’m confused.

Some people you barely know and don’t like are coming to live with you for an indeterminate period of time?

Insert that Malcolm Reynolds .gif here.

In laws visiting ALWAYS coincides with a biking trip in my house

infact I engineer it that way, arrange the biking trip first and then invite them down with plenty of notice

everyone is a winner

Mrs Zip buggered off with another friend for a spa day on Monday so that was definitely me on a bike all day.
She has realised what a drippy pair they are and i feel this may be the last visit. 🙂

OP, killed them yet?

You say they invited themselves to stay?

How does that work?

I’m not up much on etiquette but I think it’s the other way around?