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Having other people...
 

[Closed] Having other peoples kids round at your house...

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Or you could just buy him a copy of Mayfair. You won't see him for months.

Hide it in a bush nearby. Everyone needs hedge porn!!


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 5:42 pm
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lessons best learnt at this age

What lesson's that? No-one loves him?


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 5:43 pm
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Edit. I won't bite.


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 5:47 pm
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but you could just log all the visits/doorbell rings on a bit of paper etc. and show the parents how much of an issue it has become

Talking to a neighbour about it tonight, I don't think they would be particularly interested. Bit of a sad situation really.


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 6:37 pm
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I'd like to think I'd let him in to play. How old is the kid and is he being left on his own?


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 6:42 pm
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He's 7, and I don't think he's left on his own (he has brothers and sisters I think)


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 6:45 pm
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Talking to a neighbour about it tonight, I don't think they would be particularly interested. Bit of a sad situation really.

You mean another neighbour or his parents? Tell me not his parents


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 6:45 pm
 hora
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Kinda reminds me of my youth in a way.

From 5/6 I was told to go out and not come home until tea was ready (v.late).

**** knows how I'm not dead as a consequence. **** shit 70's careless parenting.


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 7:24 pm
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He's 7, and I don't think he's left on his own (he has brothers and sisters I think)

brothers and sisters to play with or look after him? How far is.it from your house.to.his? Sounds like it could be neglect to me. My mrs and i had to report a child if a similar age last summer. Was left playing in park all day throughout the summer holidays. She liked walking our dog and it soon became obvious she hd no adults with her and was there at 8am when i walked the dog and at five when the mrs did. Apparently her brother was supposed to be looking after her.


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 7:39 pm
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He's just called twice more...

Buy a dog. A big one.


 
Posted : 08/07/2013 7:49 pm
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You need to speak to the parents again. FWIW I would take the same line as you. Allow him to play sometimes. Mark the line on others. Be gentle with the balance at first eg more yes than no then gently manipulate it to a level you can deal with. If the kid is suffering low self esteem dont crush him.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:02 am
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he could be being abused at home maybe give social services a call.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:21 am
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Listen to what Hora says. Do you want to have contributed to that lad growing up a serial frame swapper, and round dodger? Can you live with that? Because that's where he's headed.

For gods sake will somebody think of the children!

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 8:31 am
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Meanwhile over in the parallel universe the same thing is happening,-

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1794170-Neighbour-kid-is-annoying-me-Help


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 9:24 am
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Hey, there is a mammaTJ on that thread...is that where he's gone?

I spoke to the kids neighbours last night, who are friends of ours (they have kids and have been getting fed up with him ringing the bell constantly). They confirmed their one of their kids was bitten by their dog, and there is now way we should let our kids into their house. The kids dad is OK, but his mum is a scumbag. They didn't think there was any abuse or serious problems, apart from the mum not having any social skills.

It's interesting that one of them overheard a conversation where my lad was apparently politely explaining he couldn't come to the BBQ on Sunday, and the boy got aggressive and started calling my lad names. He then came round to me and said my lad was being horrible to him...at which point I relent and invite him to the BBQ.

I'm thinking politely limiting his time he can come round to maybe once a weeknight and once at the weekend, and seeing how that goes.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 10:13 am
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I've just read the mumsnet thread...they don't show the sensitivity like us bike types do they 😉


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 10:16 am
 DezB
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Got some interesting names though... "TheRealFellatio" 😯


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 10:45 am
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I suspect that within my lifetime the women on Mumsnet will have mounted a bloody revolution, overthrown the government, and will be ruling the country with an iron OFSTED style fist. Terrifying 😯


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 10:48 am
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It's interesting that one of them overheard a conversation where my lad was apparently politely explaining he couldn't come to the BBQ on Sunday, and the boy got aggressive and started calling my lad names. He then came round to me and said my lad was being horrible to him...at which point I relent and invite him to the BBQ.

I'm thinking politely limiting his time he can come round to maybe once a weeknight and once at the weekend, and seeing how that goes.

From what you've said in that first paragraph, I don't think I'd let him in the house at all. If that's just one conversation that your neighbours have overheard, how many other conversations have the boys had where he's tried to bully your boy into doing what he wants?

Could that be why your boy doesn't really like spending much time with him?


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 11:21 am
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Got some interesting names though... "TheRealFellatio"

Which was followed a few posts on by "Swallowing" 😀


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 11:29 am
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All the kids in our close seem to have their lives revolving around whatever my 8 year old likes to do at the moment. I get home from work and there is 5 kids sitting in my front garden asking when he's getting back from school. They knock every 5 minutes. If he doesn't want to come out, I get interrogated as to why not.

Its doing my head in.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 11:34 am
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Sounds like your kid is dealing crack Scott.

(This is a joke.)


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:01 pm
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I find that asking my own kids or their mates to do anything remotely helpful disperses them faster than I can finish the sentence.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:08 pm
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Take them all for a big bike ride until he's nearly dead or throws up and tell him this is what we'll be doing every day he wants to play.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:43 pm
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It's interesting that one of them overheard a conversation where my lad was apparently politely explaining he couldn't come to the BBQ on Sunday, and the boy got aggressive and started calling my lad names. He then came round to me and said my lad was being horrible to him

That would be game over for me. I'd never let him in again.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:51 pm
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You need to speak to the parents again. FWIW I would take the same line as you. Allow him to play sometimes. Mark the line on others. Be gentle with the balance at first eg more yes than no then gently manipulate it to a level you can deal with. If the kid is suffering low self esteem dont crush him.

Down to earth stw post of the year award. Take a bow.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 12:56 pm
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[i] Got some interesting names though... "TheRealFellatio"

Which was followed a few posts on by "Swallowing"[/i]

Do you think they have the same problem if they go out for social activities as stwers do - only knowing peoples forum names?

Turning up at someones door and asking her husband if therealfellatio can come out to play must take some, errm, balls.

"Hang on I'll ask. Who are you?"

"Swallowing"

"Oh, right"


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 1:27 pm
 StuF
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A few years ago we had a lad (probably about 8ish) always coming round to our house - especially in the morning before school - we'd have him in, sometimes he'd have breakfast as his Mum hadn't left any food out for him when she went to work. It was basically that his home life was crap and he didn't want to be there.

After a while he stopped coming, we think he started going to someone else's.

He was just a kid looking for some attention and in a way it's better for him to be at ours rather than wandering the streets getting into trouble.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 1:39 pm
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It's interesting that one of them overheard a conversation where my lad was apparently politely explaining he couldn't come to the BBQ on Sunday, and the boy got aggressive and started calling my lad names. He then came round to me and said my lad was being horrible to him...at which point I relent and invite him to the BBQ.

Aggressive? Or maybe just upset—he’s only seven (so maybe not very emotionally articulate) and he’s just heard his friend’s having a party and the kids with cool parents will be there but he’s not invited. I’d have been devastated—still would be!
He’s just a little boy, don’t demonise him for having rubbish parents


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 1:54 pm
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"He’s just a little boy, don’t demonise him for having rubbish parents"

this. He clearly prefers to be at yours not his , this in my experience is cyclical and depends on interests and wider circle. When I was a kid my parents safe garden and unsafe shed were a magnet to all my friends in summer, someone else's massive but tatty house with easily accessed roof voids and frankly negligent parent's for winter . Many of my friends spent all day every day at my house as teenagers including one who would turn up sit in the front room and try and bond with my dad by smoking a pipe of Tabaco.

Also friendship as children can be weird, an overheard row does not mean your son is being bullied they could be best mates within minutes.

Having said that If your son does not want the kid round back him up and be firm.


 
Posted : 09/07/2013 2:19 pm
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