MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
OK, I'm nearly 40, and I don't go out much any more by choice but I'm not what I'd call naive, or prudey, or owt like that.
But this weekend I was at a friend's birthday do, in a city centre bar type place, and in the toilets was a machine dispensing items just as there has always been. Sensible in these times, even.
But this machine also dispensed other items, let's call it a vibrating pleasure ring.
Now like I say I'm not a prude, so I was passingly aware such items existed. But I thought they were the preserve of specialist outlets, not pub vending machines. But it got me further thinking (and hence the question). Who buys these things? I can understand you go to a bar; you chat someone up, it's all going very well and you might get lucky but blast - the condom in your wallet has gone out of date! No bother - I'll get one from the gents. But who buys a vibrating c**k ring on a whim? How do you introduce that idea to your lucky lady who you just met an hour ago? Do you just slip it on and hope she doesn't mind?
Or am i truly out of touch and all the kids have them nowadays?
S'just part of all the subtle marketing; 'you're inadequate and inferior, therefore you NEED this thing to improve your life'.
I saw one of those things scamper across the bar, once. The lass behind the bar stamped on it. I think she killed it.
Aren't half of the machines in pub toilets selling condoms of the "Not safe for actually having sex" variety anyway?
Did you buy one?
I knew a lad years back, and was amazed at some of his exploits on first dates.
He reckoned that as you had no history that you had nothing to lose.
they can be used to rejuvenate a pint of flat lager
Heaven forbid years of stiff upper lipped British prudeness be challenged, no matter what the means to challenge it is.
Although I'd never purchase such a device* I understand that there are quite a few people who do and hence their presence being lifted from purely the darkened recesses of 'Private Shops' to being advertised and sold by one of the biggest producers of condoms.
*When do you put it for FFS? Before on the off chance you get lucky, during and interrupt 'proceedings'? The mind boggles.
No, others can enjoy cock rings, I'll stick with tying my wife to the bed, ball gagging her and slapping her with rolled up copy of Singletrack whilst wearing a Spongebob Squarepants costume thank you very much, weirdos.
Sooty, please.
'Rolled up copy of Singletrack'?
That's just TOO kinky... 😯
It's amazing what counts as "family planning" in Boots nowadays…
S+J, your previous indicates 'truer words never spoken in jest' etc etc 😯
vinnyeh - I was only joking about the rolled up ST mag, thats a step too far for even me. 😉
No, others can enjoy cock rings, I'll stick with tying my wife to the bed, ball gagging her and slapping her with rolled up copy of Singletrack whilst wearing a Spongebob Squarepants costume thank you very much, weirdos.
Lol!
As for the OP - you are a prude. Consenting adults can do as they please, that's the whole point of meeting birds in pubs. Enjoy life, express yourself 🙂 There's clearly a market for 'em, otherwise the vending machine company wouldn't put them in.
Did you buy one?
Didn't have £5 in pound coins, and felt odd asking people for change in a toilet.
Like I say, not a prude, and within a relationship I'm sure some of S&J's favoured practices are a lot of fun for both (all?) parties - even the horse - but on a 'first date'!
I'm not saying that others can't do exactly as they please; some nights i even let my wife go on top!
My surprise is that this sort of thing happens on first dates! Maybe Richpips' 'mate' had it right all along.
I was slightly amused to see them on sale in the bogs departure side at T5 as well!
We were in a club once and had had drunk a few too many shandies 😉 Anyway, mate gets lucky and pops to the toilet to purchase the protective clothing and sets off with his catch for the night back to her place.
We catch up with him the next day to see how he got on and get all the gossip and he's very quiet and doesn't really want to talk about it. After constant nagging from us it turns out that when he got back to her place and pulled out the packet of condoms he had bought in the club he had put his money in the wrong machine and had a packet of Smints - We laughed for days!!
The pubs in town (southampton) sell vibrators from vending machines in the gents too. I guess its so you can still please your easy shag even when full of cheap lager, and in case the cock ring doesnt have the necessary effect. Judging by the state of most women in the precinct at 3am on a sunday morning, they wouldnt notice what was put in 'em anyway.
Its a variety of things ranging from marketing preying on the enlarging problem of diminishing male confidence, womans more prominent dominant role in the bedroom as a example of sexual equality and our consumerist society.
Personally, if anyone feels they have to have one, it is a shame they feel like that.
Im 23, and I dont get them. Im the same as you theotherjonv, I have no idea on the 'process' and im at my sexual height, being at uni an' all! 😉
[i]enlarging problem of diminishing male confidenc[/i]
I didnt think the problem was enlarging?
You were in the ladies.
........womans more prominent dominant role in the bedroom as a example of sexual equality......
Whilst I agree that women are more sure of what they want in the bedroom I would argue they aren't necessarily 'dominating' in the bedroom, in fact based on many of my female friends, quite the reverse.
A lot of my female friends work in very demanding and responsible positions that not so long ago would have purely been the preserve of males and whilst its true that they work hard, play hard and know what they want many of them like to switch off from being the whip cracker (so to speak) at work and be the 'taken' by their partner.
Its a common theme in sub/Dom relationships that people who work in positions of power want to submit sexually and its can be found to an extent throughout more 'vanilla' sexual encounters.
All the gay bars have them.
Chocolate chip mint.
RB - I'd have had you down as Tutti Fruity.
Anyone want a banana split?
mrmichaelwright - Memberthey can be used to rejuvenate a pint of flat lager
or they rejuvenate the ability to satisfy, after a pint of lager too many...
Now that is deviant behaviour!
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I stayed in a hotel in the channel islands last year which had an "intimate massager" in the mini-bar.
Not disapproving, just mildly amazed, as I quaffed a swift gin, showered and crashed out for 4 hours before getting the red-eye back to London. Other people have more stamina than I do...
What's with the picture of Billy Piper?
I once bought one, it broke soon after 🙁
Surely you dont have to use it that night, I mean a lot of people wouldnt be seen dead going into a seedy shop to buy one (or boots) but would feel comfy doing so in a pub loo. Hence its a good place to sell them!
well, I asked the same question to to a few folks at work in order to gauge opinions in the real world - and it's fair to say,
the office is buzzing now
Big Dummy, that hotel on the Channel Islands wasn't the Club and Spa by any chance was it?
Reminds me of a time, way back when in the bike trade, when a certain brand of bikes from Warwickshire brought out their new range of kids bikes. Included amoung them was one which was pink. For girls. Came in small sizes. Had a great name. Appeared on the stock list as follows;
Girls 16" Pink Vibe
ha ha ha ha ha... that's frickin gold that is 🙂 was it made by Cove?
......was it made by Cove?
Yes, the famous Deep Cove bikeshop of North Shore fame is actually located in Warwickshire.
Think so Pook, yes.
I make those...biggest selling line we do as well...demand is over 300% compared to other revenue streams...
nice place? Gingerbread on the bed whenever you were out of the room for longer than an hour?
I was a bit surprised at the mini bar too.
DickBarton - MemberI make those...biggest selling line we do as well...demand is over 300% compared to other revenue streams...
Quite an unfortunate name there then, Dick! 😉
Eeeee, when I were a lad, it were the rubber suit filled with Swarfega and ball bearings, with a rolled-up copy of the Exchange and Mart. How times have changed. ;0)
Yeah probably is...I don't actually make them but it sounds a much more interesting job than I do just now...
Swarfega and ball bearings you say? Luxury.
In my day it were used battleship oil full of rusty razor blades all wrapped up in an old diving suit and an old lead pipe for smacking the backsides with, and we were grateful.
Apparently, they are for in the dark so that the recipient can tell who's who during a spit roast.
[i]Swarfega and ball bearings you say? [/i]
sounds like a "posh" wnak.
"Would sir care for a knobbly johnny to wear inside-out, a tub of E45 and a pair of Marigolds for sir's posh wnak?"
Yeah i saw them too and being that i had plenty of loose change i bought one, i think we were in a service station on the M1 actually ? Anyway, without too much detail possibly one of the strangest things i have experienced, missus agreed. Right up there with that minty lubricant which was like putting Vix vaporub on your c0ck. Anyway, i'll stick to my flaggelation and s3x swing thanks very much....