[Closed] Grumpy Airport index...

Security at T5 is a delight! Never a queued, through in seconds. You are using the entry at the far right hand side as you enter the terminal, aren't you?

FWIW, ORD and CDG are the two most fetid cesspits ever to have masqueraded as an airport. Sadly going to ORD soon. Hideous.

Wash your hands after handling the trays. They don’t wash them and notivirus can last a while. Think how many times they are handled. Staff were all very cheerful. No free food though. BA price gouging

Queue was fine at LGW at 05:30 last week. Pilot very kindly let teen2 ait in the left hand seat in the cockpit and chat about his pathway to First Officer.

Manchester flashy, did the right hand side of t5 when I got back from oz was a big shock given I normally walk up with everything.in the jacket and laptop in hand. Massively officious but no simple sign explaing what to do! Think I nearly took 4 trays to get through.

Manchester security is renowned for being argumentative, pedantic, and ultimately a bit shit.  You've got to remember that you don't work in airport security if you're bright.

I've had arguments in the past with Manchester airport security - one memorable incident resulted in me being escorted at gunpoint to the aircraft - but I have yet to have CO2 cartridges confiscated at any UK security check.

Did you show security (the supervisor) your approval to carry them from BA? Would let BA know in this case.

one memorable incident resulted in me being escorted at gunpoint to the aircraft

You mean escorted by a person who happened to be carrying a gun or escorted by someone holding and pointing a gun at you?

Joburg lounge is the only one worse than CDG

Queue times at any airport can vary depending upon how busy they are. I use Manchester alot and never had any issues though security...the only issues I've observed when going through security is when the passengers themselves start arguing with the simple instructions they are given and questioning wether the checks are necessary and suggesting they're just being awkward!! It's not surprising when the staff have to process thousands of passengers a day...each with their own 'sense of humour'. I can imagine it gets very boring very quickly. They're not there to be happy and nice they're there to carry out a very specific and important activity...not be nice to the passengers. If they're serving coffee in the terminal cafe then fair enough, being pleasant to the customers might be in the job description. But not working in security.

My mate heads up security at one of the big airports in the UK and security is very necessary and the threats they are protecting us against are very real and they find things every single day without fail and security measures can vary from week to week or even day to day depending on any specific threats they might be facing, so sometimes the security staff can be more thorough on certain days than normal. Consider it like a bit of a DEFCON status, somedays the DEFCON status is higher than others.

Manchester security is renowned for being argumentative, pedantic, and ultimately a bit shit.

Really? never heard that ever. and I've been a frequent flyer for 20 years with my job and Manchester is not the 'worst' I've experienced in the UK. Sure it has it's moments when they're super busy and some passengers (often alot) are being dicks, but the staff are just there doing their job.

I don't see what the problem is and why people get all uptight and start comparing security arrangements at some airports than others extolling the virtues of airports that apparently have slacker security protocols. It depends on alot of things...the equipment and procedures they've got in place at the airport, wether they're facing any specific and known threats at the time and just how seriously they take it. Of course in the UK you're likely to have security taken more seriously than just about anywhere else in the world. I really can't see why people just can't do what they're told and realise that these things are necessary and just crack on. And maybe wearing big walking boots that take 2 minutes to take off isn't the best choice of footwear when going through an airport.

I travel through Manchester and LHR alot and Manchester can be busy at some times. LHR is mostly busy all the time as it shuts down overnight so has to squeeze everything through during the day.

Also I thought that CO2 canisters were banned...unless the rules have changed recently. I last took a bike on a plane last year and the rules were very clear...no CO2 canisters.

How do you think the life jackets inflate its the same shite as ‘ have you deflated your tyres ‘

You mean escorted by a person who happened to be carrying a gun or escorted by someone holding and pointing a gun at you?

The latter. Actually two of them.

Also I thought that CO2 canisters were banned…unless the rules have changed recently. I last took a bike on a plane last year and the rules were very clear…no CO2 canisters.

Been allowed for at least 10 years...

We recently used Manchester T2 and what a delight is was after the shower of barstewards at Ts 1 and 3.

At T3 recently the passengers queueing for Security were berated by a man who walked up and down shouting: "If your bags get bumped it's a TWO HOUR WAIT!"  which is bollocks and next time I see him doing it I'm going to have a polite word with the senior jobsworths who hang around the desk.

Another thing that bugs me is the constant recorded announcement: "In order to reduce the number of security alerts...."   which seems to imply that there are dozens of alerts a week thanks to the stupidity of the public. I bet there are no more than an handful every year.

Best airport security is now Schiphol, what a pleasure.

Quite a lot of evidence to show that low-level security checks by minimum-wage flunkies is not very effective and multiple checks actually compounds errors not minimises them.

Recent research at Helsinki airport showed that the plastic security trays were 'dirtier' than the toilets and were contaminated with all sorts of nasties - best pack some disposable gloves.

Stopped packing CO2 for Abigale as its been taken off her at too many airports. She just buys it where ever she is racing and then gives it away at the end to someone more deserving. Manchester is by far the worst. They have even taken new bottles of dry lube off her and every CO2 canister she has tried to get through.

I reckon they must have an after market for it. Bet the guy is a regular on here.

“If your bags get bumped it’s a TWO HOUR WAIT!”  which is bollocks .

Either you and I were there the same day or he regularly spouts that pish...

It shows absolutely no understanding of why people get their bag stopped either.  Even if its 5 minutes its a PITA, so nobody is intentionally saying - ah, I'll ignore the instructions and let them worry about it.  Having flown far too much in the last 10 years its clear the issues are:

1. Infrequent fliers who don't understand the rules.

2. Poorly explained rules, often shouted quickly by someone with an accent in a noisy environment.

3. Different rules in different airport - no you can't assume I know you want me to take my belt off, because yesterday it was fine at YXZ; yes I'll take my shoes off but (unless in the US where it is standard) it would be helpful to know why so I can pick better next time; you don't really need me to take a tablet out of a thin neoprene cover - its fine 4 times our of 5 here.

4. Banging on about liquids in a 1/3/1 rule (in the US) may make it easy to recite - but doesn't help understanding (especially for most of the world who don't use "Quarts")

5. I may have packed my bag - that doesn't mean I have remembered everything that is in it.  You've given us no space to unload everything and insist on things being in separate trays - and a feeling of pressure to drop and move on.

And as for shouting at people who don't move their trays to the "re-dress" area.  If you want me to walk away you need to put my expensive laptop through immediately after my bag, I'm not walking off with 1/2 my stuff!

However by far the worst experience was in china where after much pointing, sign language, waving hands in front of a poster I gave up and walked off - leaving the (perfectly within the regulations battery pack) because the staff member doesn't understand the difference between a mW and a W.  I suspect he may have a clever little reselling scam going on!

Pffft @flaperon - I’ve been escorted out of the LHR BA Gold lounge by 4 police. 2 armed with tasers, 2 with guns - all pointed at me.

The security behind it was good - and once they’d figured out I wasn’t really a threat, then it was all good natured.  And all because the front line security missed a small bottle of liquid i’d left in my bag...

the only issues I’ve observed when going through security is when the passengers themselves start arguing with the simple instructions they are given and questioning wether the checks are necessary and suggesting they’re just being awkward!! It’s not surprising when the staff have to process thousands of passengers a day

UK security is way more aggressive and strict than a lot of world destinations  they provide no information on the way into the line as to what is expected and then some numpty gets shitty with each person on turn explaining what he wants. The ba advice does not match the security advice which seems to not match the rules.

I don’t see what the problem is and why people get all uptight and start comparing security arrangements at some airports than others extolling the virtues of airports that apparently have slacker security protocols. It depends on alot of things…the equipment and procedures they’ve got in place at the airport, wether they’re facing any specific and known threats at the time and just how seriously they take it. Of course in the UK you’re likely to have security taken more seriously than just about anywhere else in the world. I really can’t see why people just can’t do what they’re told and realise that these things are necessary and just crack on. And maybe wearing big walking boots that take 2 minutes to take off isn’t the best choice of footwear when going through an airport.

Honestly as I said, published info did not match policy or reality, no comms on the way in, make it up as you go along approach and frankly one of the worst bits of efficient processing I have seen since the health service with nothing other than the illusion of security to protect

We did Manc T2 this summer. Was fine. Helped due to us having a small child in a pram which means we get to go down the priority route. Wife announced we would be taking the pram on hols for the next few years precisely for this dodge!

Return was from Olbia in sardinia. Bloody hell, that place was efficient for security. Like super super slick. Crap layout overall, but impressively slick.

Anyone ever moaning about airport security only need visit Isle of Man international. Anal doesn't even come close. They must be worried about someone nicking a cessna and driving it into the Laxey Wheel.

Pack a pair of aluminium click-apart crutches.  As soon as you get to the desk you're whisked through everyand driven in a buggy to the gate.

Pffft @flaperon – I’ve been escorted out of the LHR BA Gold lounge by 4 police. 2 armed with tasers, 2 with guns – all pointed at me.

Well, if Sir does insist on necking the '84 Shiraz straight out of the bottle what does Sir expect to happen?

LPGS, Flaperon, LPGS.

By the bucket.

Sadly being replaced, though. Looking forward to trying the Jeeper Rosé in a few days.

I had the misfortune of the Billi terminal at Bordeaux airport earlier this week. It’s basically a cattle shed, with just about enough room for two flights worth of people to be processed before the next lot are herded in.

CDG is my #1 concrete hell hole. Between the stupid t2 satellite bus system and the repeated security scans (twice to go from some inbound flights to a connection as they often route you incorrectly via land side.)

ORD for sheer otherwise unemployable stupidity. Was once booked ord-ams-ncl with klm. Decided I wanted to go to Barcelona, so booked a squeezyjet flight onwards from AMS and chose to bin the last segment. Well that didn’t compute at all at checkin: “Yes, please don’t check my luggage through, I won’t be getting on the next flight” “but sir you’ll be stranded, where will you stay, how will you get Home? do you even have  a visa for the Netherlands?”  In the end they couldn’t deal with it and I had to put a massive duffle bag through as carrry on. KLM laughed a lot when I told them what happened at AMS. I swear The Man in the High Castle is more of a documentary than a drama given america’s nasty bureaucratic nature.

oh and the charter shed at LYS. That’s lovely.

Durham Tees Valley - a cattle shed with more than enough room… I haven't had a flight from/to there for 10 years, but my colleagues who have seem to like it (I think they're desperate for business). NCL on the other hand is my favourite airport… big enough to have enough facilities but small enough to be very efficient and security has always been fast and polite.

At least your planes taking off... radar view above me atm booked on a flight out of HKG Monday. Should be ok if delayed but feel bad for the worst areas hit..

Nick, there's a lovely spot by Gate 63 called The Pier if you're stuck at HKG for a while. No baths sadly, those are only at The Wing.

Have the Dan Dan Mien.

Best airport security is now Schiphol, what a pleasure.

I disagree, my vote go to Msia and Brunei airport as the best because I know both airports well.  😀   What I like most about these two airports is low traffic i.e. nothing to do and no much entertainment etc.  Just watching the locals working.

When I travelled home I usually get through at least 4 security checks at various airports.  All fine as long as I follow their instructions.  Normally, I get through smoothly.  The only time slowing down the queue is the problem of some illiterate people (from the village - real villagers) that tried to check through their entire property.

In Brunei old airport, while waiting for connecting flight and normally I was amongst the few people left waiting, I used to ask for permission to go in and out of the airport to have a fag or to have something to eat at the local stall.  Show my passport then they just wave me through ... obviously speaking the language helps.

Not trying to be funny but since most of the passengers are "locals", the security profiling is rather easy for officers as they know who would be the trouble makers.

Also when I travel I would wear something that is convenient for security check i.e. elastic waist trousers, hand carry bag with items insides packed into several airport see through plastic bags.

Try to carry as little as you can ...

p.s:  If I fly in the region I usually wear scandals, shorts (no belt type) and a small bag ... easy.

Went through Manchester T1 last saturday and had no grief  at all.

Got asked if we had co2's with us and two per person were fine.

Bit shit waiting for the bags on the way back today though.

Manchester T3. Horrendous queues. Rudest, most unpleasant security staff I’ve ever come across (in a lot of air travel!!). Probably not helped by dealing with the ruddest, most unpleasant passengers I’ve ever come across 😉 LHR T5 a breeze by comparison!

I go through Manc most weeks and can be >1hr wait if you get your bag bumped, so chappy shouting to folk probably wasn’t far from the truth. I waited 45 mins for my jacket about 3 week ago, all because it “hasn’t scanned properly and had to go through again”. Mildly unamused...

I would have to say if it is grumpy you are looking for Bristol has to be right up there..

they frisked my 4 year old daughter, I have no understanding why, i was busy keeping my trousers from falling down and carrying two trays of stuff, turned round to see the miserable bloke padding her down. Not even a smile or any explanation for a very confused kid and mother.

Followed by having to explain that some people want to take things on aeroplanes which are not allowed.

Arrived at Manchester from Dubai with my wife and 18 month old (30 hr journey from Sydney) and all the luggage that goes with them.  Pram had been lost somewhere en-route, and the card readers at the trolley-payment stations in the baggage hall were all offline.  Did I have a pound coin?  Course I ****ing didn't.

Asked the Emirates luggage "liaison" lady how I was supposed to leave the terminal without a pram, and without a luggage trolley.  "There is a cash machine over there - you can get some money out, and then there is a change machine over there".  Excellent - except the cash machine only dispenses a minimum of 100 quid! (run by Travelex), I don't really want 100 pounds worth of pound coins thanks very much.

Fortunately, some kind chap overheard me telling the Emirates luggage lady in somewhat frank terms that she should probably try a bit harder to help me leave the luggage hall..... and he gave me a quid.  The Emirates lady couldn't have given less of a shit.

Then after having endured the worlds least-efficient bus-transfer to the car rental place, because our flight was 3 hours late, the bloke at the car rental place told me that he'd given away our reserved vehicle (an estate) and all he had left was a micra (or equivalent).  More frank and open communication followed, only for.... lo-and-behold: him to find EXACTLY the car we had reserved in the car park.  Wow, a miracle.

Manchester airport is an absolute arsehole of a place...... second only to Abu Dhabi.

Come on - Tel Aviv - end of grumpy airport thread. Just insanely insulting, suspicious, over bearing and rude staff and that’s being polite. The only airport I’ve ever felt relieved to get out of - never again.

The worst are the small airports. Derry - Bristol is a nightmare. Old men who think that everything electronic is potential bomb. That's fine when it's just you but not when you have 4 tablets, 2 kindles, 4 headphones, 3 phones, 2 charging blocks etc. That was a long 35 minutes!

I had a colleague told to get off his phone in the Manchester Security Queue - very aggressively !  He's a medical expert. He was very shocked.  Not had any issues, other than the queue is horrendous these days - takes most of your time to get through security. We dreaded it as my son is Type 1 with an insulin pump. Went great as we went to the customer services to get the disability neck band - as his insulin pump should not go through a scanner.  We were also fine on the way home in Malaga - their security were spot on.

The worst airport for me is London Heathrow T4 so I avoid by all cost.

Before Emirates started their flight from Newcastle Airport I used to arrive at Heathrow T4 8hrs in advance, due to my connecting flight from Newcastle otherwise I would be late.  Even that I had to queue for 1hr or more going through all the security checks.  The way I see it anything less than 6 hr is pushing as the queue is long.

I have no problem with Emirates even with the connecting flight from Dubai. Last year during the connecting flight from Dubai I just caught the plane on time as their airport was under renovation so need to take the long route.  Once arrive in Msia I am home free and can relax a bit.

My flight home normally takes me around 24hrs door to door and take 3 connecting flights. 😀

Manchester T3 security this morning was queued back through the automatic security gates, all the way back to the check in desks area. Plus all the normal wiggly queues one you actually got into the normal security area. I haven’t the first idea how long that would take to get through - 2+hrs?? Even through fast track it took me nearly 15 mins 😉

Staff had no idea what was causing the queues - maybe they need some sort of system where they can predict how many people turn up on any one day. Some sort of advanced booking system maybe???

Manchester is OK if you get to the bit where they try to confiscate liquids and let you pay to go thru the fast channel just at the point where the queue is so long that you have to queue to get thru the ticket check to join the queue to get in the serpentine queue to get in to the main queue for the 13 or so scanners (7 of which are not in operation).

That way they direct you downstairs where there's another security area.

Last time I managed to walk right thru the serpentine to the queue, turned around and the serpentine was half full. Still 30 mins from there to the bag repacking area.

It's the incompetent tourists in front that are the real issue.

I can't believe no-one has mentioned biometric passport controls and the improbable inability of numerous passengers to simply scan a passport page and then stand still on a couple of painted footprints on the floor. How difficult can it be?

On the security front, I wonder if the real issue is that the whole airport process is about being processed. No thought required bar walking to a gate, except for security where suddenly passengers are required to actually think about what's in their bag. Whether they have change in their pockets etc. It's at odds with the rest of the process.

Blimey, no-one has mentioned Stansted.  It truly is grim.  Every part of the experiance makes you never want to travel again.....

Lagos airport - it i slike a comprehemnsive school building that should have been knocked down years ago. Immigration queues are terrible ...

JFK / La Guadia - it is where they send people who failed as serial killers to work.  That said , any security , in any US airport, seem to be hyped up and ready to shoot to kill .....

CDG ... should be avoided. Orly is like a service station on a motorway that everyone avoids.

Milan airports - they could be improved greatly by the mangers introducing the concept of organisation and improvements.

Channai airport ... polite bedlam.  Security works fine but you never quite know when you are going to leave ...

last year I flew into and out of Bordea airport.  No checks at all getting off the plane, 5 mins to get on it.  None of the nonsense that you  get at UK airports.  You ralise the vast majo0rity of the checks are to make it look like they are doing something - nowt to do with real threats - see the liuquids on and the taking off your shoes thing.  Neither is based on anything rational. ( shoe bombs don't work - too small and liquid bombs are nonsense.)

Due to my mistake ( trying to board a flight a day early) I actually had my bags put on a plane I was not booked on.  Now that is a serious security breach

Until you have had the joy of a 2300 landing at Cairo, then you have never lived.

The worst airport for me is London Heathrow T4 so I avoid by all cost.

Never had a problem at T4 - once you get there, after a half hour wait for the transfer from T1/2 - it's always been quite quick and not very busy.

Worst recent experience was surprisingly at the BA check-in at CPH. BA are too cheap to have a proper bag-drop, and far too cheap to have enough desk staff, so they kept letting "priority" passengers go to the front of whatever queue they felt like, creating a lot of stress for everyone else which eventually resulted in the police being called.

Budapest Airport are quite grumpy.  Dinard in Northern France is a crazy when they are trying to process a whole Ryanair flight in about an hour with one disinterested member of staff.

Miami airport is my nemesis, both times i've had 24 hour plus delays it has been there!

First time was my honeymoon coming back from St Lucia via Miami, American Airlines flight had "electrical problems", they could could give us any information, would supply no assistance with trying to get a hotel, nothing at all, as if it was all our fault, they clearly prioritised American passengers too and were simply rude.

Second time was worst, being flown back as a medical emergency from Bolivia (again American Airlines, who i hate) got as far as stopover at Miami, AA plane i was supposed to get on "didn't have a pilot" which i guess is kinda essential. I had skin missing all down face and left arm, had metal pins newly placed into left shoulder and had lost 3 pints of bloods just days prior, could the staff give a toss, nope! Ended up with me having a stand up slanging match with the staff as they would not even find me a first aider to help change bandages (i had to buy there) despite the fact i'd been stuck in terminal for going on 18 hours by that point, got to the point where i was purposefully dropping dirty bandages on her desk and asking to speak to a manager. Only got help when the security guard purposed with dragging me away, realised the stamps in my passport and realised i was a fellow Iraq veteran, and finally he helped me, they still prioritised business and first class passengers and 3 AA flights went to London before i was put on one. (They ended up admitting their mistakes and paying £3.2k compensation)

Did make this the biggest as i finally made it back to the UK:

"where are you flying from?"

- Bolivia

"did you back your own bags"

- no a nurse did..

-I'll bend over...........

Just realised I did not mean Bordeaux but a previous trip to Clermont Ferrand - I couldn't believe when I simply walked off the plane into ~France with no checks.  Bordeaux as Jambo says is not good

Ben Gurion at Tel Aviv was great.  I had two young and bored teenagers doing their military service personally assigned to inspecting every millimetre of me and my hand luggage, and happy to practice their English.  That killed a good hour, which was fine as I had time to kill (oops).

The cement mixer they put my hold luggage through was not so great.

I don't fly enough to have any sort of meaningful insight and I wonder if flying is just shit these days regardless.

I really dislike Bristol Airport, mostly I think because I've got a perfectly lovely Airport (Cardiff) 20 mins from my house, but I never seem to manage to fly from it.

Bristol Airport seems to me pretty representative of Bristol itself actually, it's a fairly bit place, with a small place feel. Sadly that means they're too big to care and too small to cope. Security is two channels for the whole airport and you end up shoeless, beltless, carrying all your worldly goods, being shuffled down the line with no where to re-dress or anything.

It's a special kind hell with kids.

Bristol Airport seems to me pretty representative of Bristol itself actually, it’s a fairly bit place, with a small place feel. Sadly that means they’re too big to care and too small to cope. Security is two channels for the whole airport and you end up shoeless, beltless, carrying all your worldly goods, being shuffled down the line with no where to re-dress or anything.

It’s a special kind hell with kids.

when was the last time you went? bristol security is 10x better than it was since they expanded it.

I don’t see what the problem is and why people get all uptight and start comparing security arrangements at some airports than others extolling the virtues of airports that apparently have slacker security protocols.

An opportunity to show what a "frequent flyer" you are? Overdramatise various incidents and chuck in a few airport codes to show that you are too busy to type "Heathrow" but somehow not too busy to add an X on to "LA". And everybody's spelling on here has become a bit Sarcin of late. I blame those mobile phones.

1. Infrequent fliers who don’t understand the rules.

2. Poorly explained rules, often shouted quickly by someone with an accent in a noisy environment.

3. Different rules in different airport – no you can’t assume I know you want me to take my belt off, because yesterday it was fine at YXZ; yes I’ll take my shoes off but (unless in the US where it is standard) it would be helpful to know why so I can pick better next time; you don’t really need me to take a tablet out of a thin neoprene cover – its fine 4 times our of 5 here.

4. Banging on about liquids in a 1/3/1 rule (in the US) may make it easy to recite – but doesn’t help understanding (especially for most of the world who don’t use “Quarts”)

5. I may have packed my bag – that doesn’t mean I have remembered everything that is in it.  You’ve given us no space to unload everything and insist on things being in separate trays – and a feeling of pressure to drop and move on.

That pretty much saves me typing....

I even travel using a 100% plastic belt... but ...

When is a stick deodorant liquid?

I even have my liquids in a bag inside a smaller bag... having been told "it must be OUR bag" ...

Put your phone in the box ... put your phone on the scanner... put the phone in a separate tray.. put the phone in the same tray ... put it in your pocket .. take it out of the case...

put your phone up your arse....

when was the last time you went? bristol security is 10x better than it was since they expanded it.

Personally about 12 months ago, Wife flew Bris to Gen in Aug, said it was the same?