[Closed] Gentlemen, it's your Sunday morning vasectomy thread...

Sunday might be a tad optimistic.

From what I've read previously I think you may be being optimistic on a ride of any kind that soon after....

Pretty sure they didn't offer a draining service when I got done. Why would you need to?

Forget Sunday

Can you elaborate on:

...full/ripe/unmolested/ready or empty/drained/slack/relaxed??

I could do with a laugh. (Slow morning at work)

🙂 I was planning on doing the draining myself...I'm sure the NHS service would be fairly rudimentary!

I'll cancel Sunday, go to the pub instead!

You'll be standing at the bar!

thats a bit ambitious for a first ride i was out the saddle for around three weeks no problems and everything healed quite quickly never received any advice on a pre op "ham shank" i just arrived shaved shrivelled and terrified ...surgeon strolled in whistling "the first cut is the deepest" the joker... oh how we laughed..I didnt laugh ,best of luck im sure someone will be along shortly with no end of horror stories

Take a kids swimming ring to sit on at the pub

Do a search for images on Google and see the aftermath.

[url= http://harrythespiderblog.wordpress.com/2010/11/25/back-in-the-saddle-%e2%80%93-take-2/ ]Bollocks[/url]

I'm in for the snip in the next month or so...let me know how you get on!

Thanks for that, Mr Spider.
I think I might avoid google images though...

May I suggest:
Shave.
Leave your pride at the door.
Have an empty bladder - it was a tad chilly when they 'reveal' all to the breeze, the cold plays havoc with a full bladder.
The conversation between nurse and doc was everything, but the job in hand (so to speak).
If the doc is struggling for tube No.2, do not allow him to send you home 'half cock' (his words, not mine). Once I was there, last turkey in the shop on display, I was damn well going to see it through. It did smart a bit when he did dig in for tube No. 2.. 😯
Make sure you have some loose fit pants for the journey home.
Allow a few days of doing not a lot.
I removed my own stitches, as I could feel that they were 'tight' and causing more pain than the 'internal work'.
😆 or you will 😥

Take a book so you don't have to watch daytime TV in the waiting room.

The snip itself doesn't take too long.

Running about a week later (in v tight pants), and on the bike for gentle road rides around two weeks afterwards. This was with no infections (which can happen 😯 ) or complications. Sunday is extremely optimistic, imagine if you smacked the boys on the nose of the saddle...

Wasn't given any drainage advice, beyond the "empty them xx times before the post snip tests". Followed the shaving/VEET advice though.

As someone said above, not especially painful. Worst part? The smell of bacon as they cauterised the tubes. Take an iPod and zone out for the duration.

EDIT: Female doctor and female nurse for me - and as someone else said, leave any pride at the door, and hope you don't know the staff personally

It feels like a kick in the nuts for a few days, nothing more.

Whatever you do don't leave the clinic and get on a bus home only to discover that it's also happens to be the school bus!

Why do people go down this route ?

that reminds me - must book in!

although with my 'wants' ride list for next year it may have to wait until after BB200 in October!

Got mine 11th January, can't wait 😕

Thought winter would be best, won't miss much good riding and the house is always full of whiskey after Xmas.

I had mine done yesterday !

Op was pretty quick - 10-15 minutes, then a short consultation, pay the rest of the bill (£402ish at Marie Stopes), fill in a questionnaire, and have some custard creams and tea whilst they check you are OK. I had no after effects so they let me go shortly afterwards.

Spent most of the op talking x-factor with the nurse (not that have watched this year) whilst the doctor gave me two doses of local anesthetic (one per side, just before working on each tube), checked that I could hardly feel anything, and then filled the room with the smell of burning flesh.

He only made one small incision and must have been able to get to both tubes through it. No stitches were done. Today I have some black bruising on one side only and some inflammation in the center by the cut.

I asked the doctor realistically how long should I wait to get back on the bike and he said 2 weeks plus.

The advice I had was to wear tight fitting pants, and I took another pair along with me to wear home and for the rest of the initial 48 hour recovery period (although not necessarily the same two pairs), during which I have some gauze padding in there. Then for the next two days I have some other small dressings, so I assume that it will be healed by then (no showers/baths allowed for 48 hours).

First test for clearedness is not until the end of March!

Then came out of the surgery to see a RTC with a 50+ cyclist sitting on the kerb and a mini parked a few meters away...

and the house is always full of whiskey after Xmas.

not supposed to drink alcohol or take aspirin for the initial recovery period as it thins the blood. Forgot to ask how long for though.

My cut is something like this :

[img] [/img]

obviously that is not me, my balls are a lot bigger...

Oh bloody hell..that's put me right off my poached eggs on toast !

Anyone else (male) squirming in their chair whilst reading this thread?? 😉

Never has a thread NOT needed pictures!

Ah well...I'm sure it will all be fine.

*throws up*

TurnerGuy - Member
and the house is always full of whiskey after Xmas.
not supposed to drink alcohol or take aspirin for the initial recovery period as it thins the blood. Forgot to ask how long for though.

I'm thinking 30 mins tops 😀

[img] [/img]

Chap at work came out of his snip operation as half rice, half chips. They'd not used enough anaesthetic so called it a day after the first snip. He went back 2 or 3 weeks later to finish the job.

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]

Here are some guidelines to help you during the healing process:

Wear sensible, non restrictive, clothing – it might be helpful to wear some firm underwear until it feels more comfortable.

Avoid heavy lifting and vigorous exercise for the first four weeks.

Avoid alcohol, driving and machinery operation for the first 48 hours (particularly after a general anaesthetic).

Bath regularly but don’t scrub with soap and flannel. Pat dry.

Don’t be surprised to have bruising and swelling for a few days after the operation.

If you have had a general anaesthetic, don’t be surprised if you feel sick for a few hours afterwards.

Is this the right thread to ask about how long to leave my teabag in for?

*decides against it*

[img] [/img]

Sunday seems very optimistic, baggy shorts or of course a kilt would be a good choice of clothing 😀

I wouldn't risk a week or so. My sister is here because my fathers vasectomy failed...

I'm a week on from [url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/just-riding-along-fail-union-of-groin-with-stem-buster-gonads-wonderful-nhs ]my groin injury[/url] and even now I can still easily easily beat the bruising and swelling in any of TurnerGuy's pics..

I left it for two weeks before riding again.

Spent 24hrs after with my feet up to try to reduce risk of swelling. Wear supportive pants (not boxers) for a week.

No need to shave and I guess the other pursuits you mentioned are up to you!

Good luck.

Right. So having seen all that, the question is still why.

I was back on the bike 10 or 12 days later for a big ride around Dent. Good quality shorts are a must!! A little tender after 40km, but nothing an evening in the pub didn't sort out!

Fourbanger: Cos I love strangers taking sharp objects to my gonads! Definately don't want more kids (2 is enough for us thanks), the pill doesn't agree with MrsLister and little rubber suits/caps etc aren't as much fun as without...

Riding is cancelled for Sunday (and possibly the rest of the year!!)

I can hardly wait now.

PS I won't be posting photos, unless it's really impressive...

Well booked in for next Friday cannot wait!! 😯

Turnerguy - hope your browser setting are on private 😉

2 kids and you're still getting some? Pull the other one ! Fnaaar fnaaar..,
Other pills are available as is the implant. I'd get her on those before I emasculated myself .

I was meant to have mine a week past Friday, but on the Thursday my wife read on t'internet that there was a 1 in 10 chance of long term pain/complications and said that she didn't want me to do it. Funnily enough I didn't either so I didn't take an awful lot of convincing.

Phoned up and cancelled on the Friday morning and to their credit, the person I spoke to was very good about it. So my advice is - don't rush into it........or get a lovely wife, like I have.

That's right blame the wife 😉

Despite all the horror stories, I had very little pain [i]after[/i] the event. The itching from the stubble regrowth was far worse. The problem I had was that they cauterised the wound closed, and it wouldn't heal properly, so it took around 3 weeks before it had properly healed and I then gave it another week before I rode a bike. Had I taken note of the nurses advice I would have rested up a bit more earlier, resisted my wife's advances three days after the event, and it might have been a faster process.

To give you something to think about, don't be the first to lie on the cold operating table on a cold winters morning - the procedure suddenly becomes a more complicated form of microsurgery. And don't worry about the surgeon not giving you enough local - he will discover his mistake a millisecond after you discover it....

And can I take the opportunity to mention in dispatches my mate who was trimming down below prior to the snip using a beard trimmer - and managed to slice his scrotum open - cue embarrassing trip to A&E clutching a large bloody towel to himself. Not the kind of hand-eye coordination I expect from a pilot with what at the time claimed to be the worlds favourite airline.

All I can say is: "nnngghhrAAAAARGGGHHH!"

should team zebin get you a gell saddle for crimbo then?

Team Zebin can get me a very large whisky when we meet in '14!!

I had mine done about 6 months ago, because I'm under 40 I had to have 'counselling' first then the NHS paid for it in a BUPA clinic, which is strange to say the least.

Me and three fellas having a laugh and then before I knew it I was on the table. The most painful bit for me was the doc washing down jim and the twins, he was really rough and he got told to be a bit more gentle or he'd get a whack in the nads. The needle went in, you grit your teeth for a few seconds, the anaesthetic works really quick and before you know it you it you hear the cauterising machine clicking on and off like an industrial welding machine.

Then they did the same on the other side, only this time the needle wasn't as bad as there was already anaesthetic inside. Half an hour later after a brew and toast I then felt extreme pain by allowing the OH to drive me 😆

I wore compression shorts and tight underwear for about four days, took paracetemol every four hours and then ibuprofen two hours after that so I constantly had something in my system. The next day I felt brave (or stupid) enough to go to the roller rink where the OH works at weekends and put the old inlines on 😯

Did three hours of fairly decent skating and then went home and had a thomas the tank!!!

Odly enough, the image I had in my mind would be like when the water's been cut off to your house, and when you run the taps for the first time you get a banging noise and then brown sludge comes out with a loud spitting noise. In reality it was no different to any other ejaculation, just a relief to know it all worked. Day after was back to riding the OT but carefully.

Four months later got the letter to take first sample in, which is tricky. First letter came back with traces of semen. Two weeks later more semen seen and then two weeks after none seen and finally last week got the go ahead to get my lifetime bareback license.

Fully certified Jaffa.

Do this..

[i]"I wore compression shorts and tight underwear for about four days, took paracetamol every four hours and then ibuprofen two hours after that so I constantly had something in my system."[/i]

for 3 days then try it without the tablets.... I went back on the ibuprofen... after 1 week was right as rain without ibuprofen.

I had no days off work and no problems.... have fun.

Off to bed for some (probably) weird dreams.

General groin area is starting to ache in preparation...:-)

A mate at work stupidly felt alright in the afternoon after his Op and decided to dig the garden. He was off work for three weeks and at one stage his balls where the size of (black) oranges. 😯
I found the wife driving me home from the hospital was the worse part, the anesthetic was wearing off and she seemed to be aiming for every pothole.

I had mine done a few years back. I got an infection in the wound, which prevented getting proper healing, so had to go back after2 weeks to have the wound scrubbed out and redressed. Although little Jonny and his two friends were fine by then, the doc suggested that bathing the wound in a sweaty chammy wasn't conducive to good healing, so in total I was off the bikefor4 weeks.

Worst bit for me wasn't the pain which was more discomfort than proper pain. It was being summoned by the nurse who told me to strip from the waist down in the ante room, but 'leave your socks on because the floor's cold'. The walk of shame across the procedure room was bad enough, then you lie on the table. The nurse laid a green operating sheet over my nethers AND THEN PULLED THE TWO VEG THROUGH A HOLE IN IT. AND THEN PAINTED THEM WITH ANTISEPTIC, AND A BRUSH. After this, anything that happens is ok with me as long as it was a/ fast and b/ didnt involve eye contact.

Paddling without your wellies on makes it all worthwhile though.

Had mine done on the nhs ages ago. Two weeks was about right for me being back on the bike, wouldn't have done it earlier. Tight pants helped the healing as did bathing in a bath with a drop of tea tree oil in it. Literally a drop. As for the draining as you put it, you might as well have one last bash...... But the doctor may notice. When fixing a wheel I always preferred a clean wheel to fix.

Yes, I'd say about two weeks for cycling.
Op was straightforward (general anaesthetic) on NHS.
Bit tender for a couple of days, but got through that period without painkillers.
It's most definitely worth it - for the freedom...

Great information on this thread. I'm booked for my one tomorrow as well so hopefully everything goes according to plan!!!

I had mine on Aug 30th - my birthday!!!!! 5 days on the sofa with no lifting, 2 weeks off the bike. A few days taking it easy makes the recovery much quicker IMHO.

Two weeks after mine... I raced the first Macavalanche (I'm at the back of this picture but not at the back of the race 8) !)

[img] [/img]

I really wish I had taken my own stitches out as soon as they started to be uncomfortable instead of leaving them an extra five days... taking them out was a sweet relief.

This thread keeps going - maybe vasectomy threads are the new stw replacement for the old de shaving threads???

So...the deed is done and I all I need now is a 'I was made sterile in Llanelli' t-shirt.

It's not been too bad so far. Lots of NHS waiting, where you're moved from one room to another to have a bit of a wait, before being taken to another place...it builds the tension nicely.

No mention of dressing gowns in the pre-op paperwork, so I ended up in 2 backless gowns worn in opposition to each other!

My shaving attempt was a bit half hearted so I was treated to a short front and sides by the nurse, then off we went.

Local anaesthetic wasn't too bad, then the butchery started. VERY weird feeling up into my lower abdomen when they pulled the tube a bit, like being winded from the inside, but quite gentle really...feels odd rather than painfull.

Second side took much longer, he really had to have a good dig and top up the painkiller for that one. I got a bit of a sweat on and there were some good dug in nail marks on the back of my hand!! Not due to the pain, which was minimal, but the feelings of tugging and ferreting around.

I was told, with some glee, that the local would wear off as I walked across the car park...and they were right. But it's nothing that paracetemol and ibuprofen aren't holding at bay at the moment.

Just got to wait and see how I feel about riding, given no times. Stitches should be gone in a week or so. I can shower tomorrow and take it easy, light duties at work for a couple of weeks, but I think tomorrow might be a sofa day...I deserve it 🙂

Thanks for all the tales and tips, it's kept MrsLister very entertained!
Those planning it, it'll be fine...honest.

12 weeks until first sample needs to be handed in seems a long time though. Careful until then...

Just had a delivery of 10 bags of frozen peas from tesco. Addressed to Mr Buster Gonad. Thanks to hot_fiat and Team Zebin for that. Was genuinely confused for a while. 🙂

We aim to peas.

Lol, good work hot_fiat! If you can't laugh at a mate's knackers what hope is there for humanity? 🙂

Had been contemplating this myself, but am not so convinced now! Please, someone come online (cough) and tell me the op went just fine...

Fully certified Jaffa.

Love it, if you know what I mean.

Neil, it went just fine! But there are holes in my scrotum and several people looked at, shaved, cut, poked around in and deliberately damaged my reproductive organs. 🙂

However, it didn't take too long and doesn't hurt too much. My wife is being more sympathetic than I've ever seen, I got NHS tea and biscuits and by mid March I get to make a mess!

You pay your taxes and take your chances...let's see how well I sleep.

Crikey, mine was super slick compared to that.

Shaved before I went in, like a babies bottom I was...

Trousers off, on the table, pants down.

Doctor slapped some cold stuff on my nads, then a single injection on one side.

Then an exploratory proud to check that I couldn't feel anything.

Then hole burnt and first tube cut. No feeling.

Then 2nd injection of local, another prod, and 2nd tube cut.

Then sit down, rest, pay bill, go.

Got some bruising to top of left nad, and a little hole where the laser went, but no stiches.

No shower for 48 hours, then two days with a small dressing on the hole.

Still wearing two pair of undercrackers atm, but been into work for Xmas lunch and some beers, everything seems ok with just slight tenderness only.

No more blobs.

[img] [/img]

Bareback... yeeeehaaaw!

[img] https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTN2kXT0A3YpTHfkyn0FcEHB7LJqHJLx1AI3W67rcqr9C4ILU5o [/img]

Sleeping on my side was a bit uncomfortable, ended up with a cushion wedged between my knees to make a bit of space for the boys.

TurneGuy: lasers! bill to pay! No wonder it was quicker 😉 Atleast I didn't get the smell of burning flesh...

So what's this laser option? Do we get a more advanced op if we go private or what?

I would think so, and you probably get chocolate digestives too. It could just be the kuck of the draw, hospital wise...bear in mind that mine happened in Llanelli!

Anyone else thinking this?

[img] [/img]

Digestives and custard creams with Marie Stopes, but no chocolate digestives.

Ops was £402 with the telephone consultation, compared to BMI wanting something like £250 for the consultation and £1400 for the op.

NHS often refer to the Marie Stopes as well, I think.

They were super efficient and the Camberly clinic was very clean - so quite impressed. Maybe a 'cut' above some other places ???

Sleeping on my side was a bit uncomfortable

Continue to sleep in two pair of close fitting undercrackers so no problem...

Obviously you need to be careful when wearing such close fitting underwear - if you wear it for too long and things get too hot down there you run the risk of becoming impotent !

I'm never sure how the NHS is organised, ie; what regions a Primary care trust covers or whether these decisions are made more locally.

But in my case (Guildford), I went through the NHS. The wife and i had discussed at some length whether to go private, more for the convenience of nominating a date to fit around other things like work and holidays, rather than the process itself. But then i decided to save the £400 anyway, so rocked up to my GP and asked to go on 'the list'.

She questioned me on whether i had thought it through and was serious, etc., and then delivered the good news that not only could i go on the list, but that they no longer rely on the skills of an enthusiastic amateur in the back room of the surgery, and instead have opted to contract out to Marie Stopes anyway. I had about a 10 week wait to get to the top of the Surrey list, then got a call from MS saying that i was up, after which it was down to me making the call on the date just as if the NHS weren't involved.

So in the end I got the custard creams and the private experience, just Surrey PCT got the bill.

Slash and burn technique for me. Hearing your own nads sizzling......

8 day wait as I paid, so cost me about £10 per week to speed the process up.

Maths fail there... I got a 10 week wait instead of an immediate appt, hence £40 a week.

[edit] unless you're saying you'd have had a 40 week wait if you'd gone NHS?

aha, I wasn't concentrating - thinking 8 week speed up, 8 into 400, then must have got distracted...

It's OK, I only program financial systems 🙂