[Closed] Friday survey: your favourite term of abuse

Apart from the obvious 🔔🔚, I always chuckle at someone being referred to as a back-eye.  😁

Whopper

microcephalous idiot

Tube

As an avid swearer, at the lighter end of the scale I do enjoy git and pillock. Agree with Mr Delaney that roaster is a beaut.
RM.

oh, can't forget Absolute Walloper

Pillock has just the right amount of contempt to it.

"You tube", once the most common derogatory phrase in Derry, must surely now be much more confusing.

balloon..

Pre-fixing anything with "Weapons Grade" always works for me.

"Moron" is a favourite go-to as is the evergreen "dickhead".

As a highly proficient user of profanity, I can paint landscapes in term of abuse but sometimes simple is best.

You can call your average ned in Glasgow a see you next Tuesday, but do not ever refer to himself a daftie.

Calling all Glaswegians.

Moon Unit
Mad radge
Safety dafty (autocorrect can get Tae **** the prick)
Walloper
Specky bastard
Ya dobber
Dobber chops

Etc.

****.

Wotsit or Prune. They work for a 6yo. I might start adding weapons-grade to them tho.

This is basically a Glaswegian art form.

My favourite is probably Rocket, but I could probably put an A-Z together without much effort.

Ya dobber

Dobber is also a Wigan-ism for a scrote. I loved Dave Spikey referring to Sports Direct as selling 'Dobber Clobber'

This is basically a Glaswegian art form.

I commented on the Delaney tweey that the Scottish are the undisputed world grandmasters at this. I absolutely love bawbag but once saw the addition to it to refer to someone as a 'sellotaped bawbag'

Twunt or Muppet in our house.

Wazzock

Muppetous little cretin…

Belm

Weapons-grade throbber...

Nobjockey

Waste of a perfectly good payroll number.

Numpty

I personally enjoy the fact we call people Paedos as an insult. Don't think any other country does that!

As for Glaswegians....

Back in the 80's I moved to a new, small workplace where 'felcher' was one of the commonplace insults.
Nobody knew what it meant, and of course then I didn't really have any real means of finding out, but it did seem to have a nice ring of onomatopoeia to it.
It wasn't til decades later I got around to looking it up on the internet, but what surprises me is that what is (surely) a niche activity merited it's own single word description.

Oh, and turkey and squid.

Moron

Careful now, I was thoroughly scorned for calling someone who is fat 'fat'. Referring to their mental state will being down similar levels of greetin.

Muppet is a favourite of mine.
And Cock, though I'm not sure if that counts as swearing or not!

'Fannybaws' has a nice ring to it 😃

I used to work with a Glaswegian bloke and he used to say, and I have no idea how to spell it, chook-ta. Apparently refering to people from the Highlands or the countryside or something but in a sort of derogatory fashion.

I like 'Plank' though or 'Div'.

For a non-sweary term of abuse anything from old British comedy films.

I've seen binners use the term blithering on here which I particularly enjoy. For some reason I quite like mutton-head.

But I don't really use non-sweary terms of abuse, I prefer the liberal use of profanities. Especially when referring to the **** that I'm currently working for.

Pillock
Prat
Jeb end
Pilchard

and if someone is being a bit of a div, i sometimes enquire if their 'shoes are too tight'.

Any regular insult, but prefixed with "Turbo" works for me...  it just elevates the insult, and puts it on another level.

also... "three inch fool".

I use a Shakespeare insult generator when conversing with people form the American colonies....

William Shakespeare Insults Generator (literarygenius.info)

Whopper
Wazzock

Bolt ya radge

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Face like a well skelpt arse

Blithering poltroon

local drivers really don't like being called a see you next tuesday so thats my usual goto insult.

Aussie influenced, but "Coat" is useful as many have no idea what it means (C... Of A Thing)

chook-ta

Teuchter?

Fud

Yer daft 'apeth

Always liked "nuclear grade bellend" seems to fit quite a few people these days..

My first two jobs were chef and squaddie, i used to be able to construct whole sentences using nothing but swear words... when i started working in an office, i had to consciously think about everything that came out of my mouth!

I called someone a Clownshoe in the car the other day. Which resulted in the following conversation with my 6 year old daughter:

"Daddy what's a Clownshoe"

"Well how silly is a Clown?"

"Really silly."

"And how silly is a shoe"

"Pretty silly"

"Now think about a Clown's shoe, how silly must that be"

😀 😀 😀

Arsewipe

I'm a fan of portmanteau insults. Cockwomble. Douche-canoe. Clownshoe.

It's a quirk of British English though that pretty much any word can be used as an insult if delivered with sufficient vigour. "You absolute hatstand!" See also: verbing random nouns as euphemisms for being drunk, "man, I was absolutely carpeted last night."

Yer daft ‘apeth

Gobbin.

Regional insults is probably a thread in itself. Tha gormless mornin'.

Here's a thing I found out recently about a seemingly innocuous insult.

Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang for a far worse insult. Don't try to interpret this next sentence if you're easily offended.  County where Windsor is located and that countryside sport where horses and dogs kill a fox.

Numpty.

plum.

Yer stupid chuff!

Nob 'ed.

After working in the prison service very few of mine would be deemed acceptable.

But, C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.

Was going to suggest the same esselgrunt,

Only ever heard it used in Berkshire / South Oxfordshire, where I grew up.

Helmet
Berk
Clopper
Stench Trench

It’s a quirk of British English though that pretty much any word can be used as an insult if delivered with sufficient vigour “You absolute hatstand!”

Best one I've heard lately was “You absolute parcel!”

Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang for a far worse insult.

Yeah, it's a contraction of Berkley Hunt.

Many relatively mild swears / insults aren't all that mild when you think about it. "Sod off", "is it buggery."

C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.

I didn't know that was a wider thing outside of my little social circle. It was so widely used it got contracted to CB, a common way of saying thank you was "TVM, CB."

Nugget
Used by my mates seven year twins after they heard it from a delivery driver during lockdown
Oi- Nugget!
You Nugget!
Etc

My Dad used to reduce me to a weak giddy wreck by simply calling me a twit ! A commonly used term in my parish is You Beauty !

Same as Matt, "ya plum" is a favourite in our house

C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.

Well use here as well but the second part is "baws"

A commonly used term in my parish is You Beauty!

Where's that? I've heard Wiganers use the slightly abbreviated term "Yeah, he's an absolute ****ing beaut!"

Nimrod

Mouth breather

Dildo

Sausage, both as an insult and a term of endearment. 🙂

Rasclat is a good one too.

Dildo

A handy euphemism for 'stuck up c***'

But I don’t really use non-sweary terms of abuse, I prefer the liberal use of profanities. Especially when referring to the **** that I’m currently working for.

We're at the point now where profanities are probably the least offensive of insults.

Tw tbag Is a favourite.

Though my my go to one a massive rant is
"You big bag of semi congealed tepid man fat"

Or describing some one as "as much use as tits on a fish."

Stroker again a nice one

And throbber... aww man Dave's an absolute Throbber

'Meat head' and 'pellet' are two of my favourite clean ones.

My favourite prefix for see you next Tuesday is 'whomper' or 'bungle'

Boris

Cocksocket is one of my favs, although bordering on the sweary.

Doughnut is used in our house, mainly as we have a 3 year old sponge who can hear a swear word at 100 paces.

Pilchard and pranett are also used.

****waffle is my favourite non sweary one.

**** is my favourite non sweary one.

You sure?

Most of my faves have been mentioned now, but I find myself using ‘halfwit’ (other, smaller, fractions also used.) more often at the moment.

Jam eater - which may not translate well outside of West Cumbria... 😆

Anything Malcolm tucker ever uttered - sometimes modified for the business environment

You’re a knitted scarf, you’re a f* balaclava

You’re such a lightweight you’re business mist

You’re not on a punt now you oxbridge c

Whopper is also a personal fave of mine currently when you need to be a bit more PC than simply calling someone a ****

Cockwomble.

Bellend.

I always find referring to someone as a Peasant gets a reaction. Especially from the well to do older generation.