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Yer daft ‘apeth
Gobbin.
Regional insults is probably a thread in itself. Tha gormless mornin'.
Here's a thing I found out recently about a seemingly innocuous insult.
Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang for a far worse insult. Don't try to interpret this next sentence if you're easily offended. County where Windsor is located and that countryside sport where horses and dogs kill a fox.
Numpty.
plum.
Yer stupid chuff!
Nob 'ed.
After working in the prison service very few of mine would be deemed acceptable.
But, C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.
Was going to suggest the same esselgrunt,
Only ever heard it used in Berkshire / South Oxfordshire, where I grew up.
Helmet
Berk
Clopper
Stench Trench
It’s a quirk of British English though that pretty much any word can be used as an insult if delivered with sufficient vigour “You absolute hatstand!”
Best one I've heard lately was “You absolute parcel!”
Berk is actually cockney rhyming slang for a far worse insult.
Yeah, it's a contraction of Berkley Hunt.
Many relatively mild swears / insults aren't all that mild when you think about it. "Sod off", "is it buggery."
C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.
I didn't know that was a wider thing outside of my little social circle. It was so widely used it got contracted to CB, a common way of saying thank you was "TVM, CB."
Nugget
Used by my mates seven year twins after they heard it from a delivery driver during lockdown
Oi- Nugget!
You Nugget!
Etc
My Dad used to reduce me to a weak giddy wreck by simply calling me a twit ! A commonly used term in my parish is You Beauty !
Same as Matt, "ya plum" is a favourite in our house
C U Next Tuesday (followed by a Y) Bollox. is a fave.
Well use here as well but the second part is "baws"
A commonly used term in my parish is You Beauty!
Where's that? I've heard Wiganers use the slightly abbreviated term "Yeah, he's an absolute ****ing beaut!"
Nimrod
Mouth breather
Dildo
Sausage, both as an insult and a term of endearment. 🙂
Rasclat is a good one too.
Dildo
A handy euphemism for 'stuck up c***'
But I don’t really use non-sweary terms of abuse, I prefer the liberal use of profanities. Especially when referring to the **** that I’m currently working for.
We're at the point now where profanities are probably the least offensive of insults.
Tw tbag Is a favourite.
Though my my go to one a massive rant is
"You big bag of semi congealed tepid man fat"
Or describing some one as "as much use as tits on a fish."
Stroker again a nice one
And throbber... aww man Dave's an absolute Throbber
'Meat head' and 'pellet' are two of my favourite clean ones.
My favourite prefix for see you next Tuesday is 'whomper' or 'bungle'
Boris
Cocksocket is one of my favs, although bordering on the sweary.
Doughnut is used in our house, mainly as we have a 3 year old sponge who can hear a swear word at 100 paces.
Pilchard and pranett are also used.
****waffle is my favourite non sweary one.
**** is my favourite non sweary one.
You sure?
Most of my faves have been mentioned now, but I find myself using ‘halfwit’ (other, smaller, fractions also used.) more often at the moment.
Jam eater - which may not translate well outside of West Cumbria... 😆
Anything Malcolm tucker ever uttered - sometimes modified for the business environment
You’re a knitted scarf, you’re a f* balaclava
You’re such a lightweight you’re business mist
You’re not on a punt now you oxbridge c
Whopper is also a personal fave of mine currently when you need to be a bit more PC than simply calling someone a ****
Cockwomble.
Bellend.
I always find referring to someone as a Peasant gets a reaction. Especially from the well to do older generation.
Monumental Crouton.
Dildo
🙂 🙂 right back to middle school "y' dil!"
"toilet" works, pronounced slowly with three syllables in a cockernee accent: "you toilet..."
Shit for brains...
Hadaway and shite... both an insult and a Newcastle Law Firm
Always had a soft spot for Moon Unit.. sums up many of my acquaintances.
No plonkers, nob (head), or ****?
Boris
I did once read an article online which referred to Boris as a hoof*ing bungle* and that then became a new favourite term of abuse. 🙂
Ya Floop!
Cockwomble.
Just reading a book by an American author. "Cockwomble" has been used in the correct context. I thought it was very much a British thing.
Fool is a good one if used in the right tone.
Bivalve.
Any mollusk, as the oyster, clam, scallop, or mussel, of the class Bivalvia. Also called lamellibranch. Also Nadine Dorries.