All of my shit neighbour stories seem to centre on my present one, I could write a book about the miserable little ****. Ticks all the boxes; loud parties, imagined noises, generally obnoxious little shite, pisshead and house reeks so much I was convinced he was growing weed industrially at one point.
Next house is detached, no ifs, buts or maybes. Can't be ****ed with this shite again.
squirrelking
Free Member
All of my shit neighbour stories seem to centre on my present one, I could write a book about the miserable little ****.
Sorry to hear that mate, it can be a bloody miserable existence when you are stuck next to a bad neighbour.
Opposite us, is a rented house, not so long ago a guy moved in and introduced himself, said he was doing fostering for older teenagers. That fizzled out and then the house would be empty then reoccupied, all odd. Turns out that the woman who owns the house, her husband died so she moved and rented it, the dodgy guy applied for a HMO in the name of the dead husband!!! She's trying get him out with court orders etc.
That reminds me of living in a terrace in Leeds - next door but one was bought to be a student house but had people who worked in pubs/clubs living in it, so they would come home at midnight and start partying. They always had an all-nighter on a Sunday. They didn't give a flying **** about anyone on the street - and it affected so many houses all around them. The next-door neighbour's wife moved out because she couldn't cope and the bloke said he slept in the attic because that was marginally quieter. It was miserable.
No real bad neighbour stories fortunately but when I was a young teenager the woman opposite would regularly open her curtains (bedroom!) topless which I obviously took quite an interest in 🙂
Not entirely sure I can compete with some of the above. Some 'highlights' from an old big house converted into flats:
1) Neighbour #1 (never met her) went out, leaving very small child alone in flat and (gas) stove on. Fire ensued. Flat gutted. Child taken into custody. Neighbour arrested and sent to clink. Somewhat lucky the entire house didn't catch fire, as the place was not exactly up to building regs standards.
2) Neighbout #2 was convinced girlfriend was cheating. One night out in town, got coked up to the nines, decided a little shimmy up the fire escape and reconnoiter on the rooftop was in order, so that he could look into a window and catch them at it. Fell off roof. Broke both legs. Lucky to survive - landed in a bush. Girlfriend was out at the time.
Also rented a house some years back, one side was a regular family with teenage lad, who were great, the lad was into bikes, he came out for a ride with us a few times, the other side was a shared (3 bed) house with about 8 tenants. All very quiet, perfectly nice tenants - occasionally had a BBQ and said hello over the fence. Then one day an ambulance came around to remove one of the girls in the house as she'd been stabbed... along with "some" police to remove the boyfriend who had stabbed her.
Due to the number of second homes and Air b and bs in our village I don't have any permanent neighbours until you get about 7 houses up the road. The nearest we've got to a neighbour is the bloke opposite who bought his house with his wife to retire to, did huge amounts of renovations and built a double garage. However they had only been in it a few months and she has a stroke and dies. Now he spends most of his time travelling abroad and is only ever back at home for a day or two at a time. It's nice and quiet though!
Pretty good knowadays, as we 'made' (suggested & arranged the viewing) a friend buy the house the one side, & she is still there 10 years later. Were awaiting new buyers for the detached side, and expect another passive agressive (shared) drive war.
Friend has recently moved to Cleobury mortimer, a seemingly lovely small shropshire town, has had the armed police come talk to two of their (luckily not direct) neighbours, since they moved in.
Mmm there’s been a few.
Last house had several neighbours pass through it as it was council rental. One couple could have rows occasionally, then one evening it sounded like a bomb going off. Microwave oven thrown throw a plate glass front door does make a hell of a boom!
Then to the current house in an area once described in a national newspaper as one of the trendiest places to live in the UK. Now if they really knew!! Bloke round the corner driving round in the small hours with stereo blasting. Chap from across the street comes out to remonstrate and ends up smashing the door mirror off. Car owner disappears, comes back with a knife and is threatening anyone to come out as he’s gonna **** you, your mum and your dad. Sensibly the other chap had gone back inside the house. Police lost our submitted video footage of that three times before eventually dropping the case.
Then I had a neighbour who was once described as Oxfords most prolific house breaker. He wasn’t that smart but thankfully had enough sense not to poop on his own doorstep so I was ok. Lovely family of 4 in there now.
Or the Baptist chapel opposite where one day two of the congregation come rolling out having a fist fight.
The Buddhists on the other side hardly make a sound, just a low hum so no problems there.
It’s great where I live ?
My neighbours are very Normal for Norfolk, but not very exciting, Jeffrey next door posts on the village Facebook page with the contents and the latin names of the moths he has caught in various traps, he is a lovely old gent and a widower, so feel a bit sorry for him.
Anne next door is a recent addition to the street, moved to Norfolk from darkest Essex, as "she loved Norfolk for holidays as a kid", she does nothing but post on the same village Facebook about everything she has deemed wrong about the village since she arrived, unsurprisingly sileage does smell when the wind is in a certain direction, yes there may well be mud on the road during sugar beet season and no there is going to be a regular bus service to a village of 12 houses 8 times a day! Sod knows why she moved here....
Next door neighbour 2 doors down, is one of the three antique small tractors, they love to start them about 6am on a sunday morning and leave them chuggin away on drive to warm up before they all go off in formation to some ploughing match or drive-by!
We all just keep ourselves to ourselves, not bothering anyone and not wanting to be bothered. Except an over enthusiastic diyer bought the house opposite 12 years ago, and has either lost interest, or finance, or both. It rains a lot, but the guy hasnt put any drains in, or insufficient, so his building materials get washed down the road.
The house is a wreck, unsellable as its been bare block exterior for years now. If they divorce or have to sell, its unmortgagable so just plot value. Kids at school must get the poo ripped out of them.
Funny thing is the owner tries to engage with passers by, mainly dog walkers, but most passers by scurry past looking the other way.
Anne next door is a recent addition to the street, moved to Norfolk from darkest Essex, as “she loved Norfolk for holidays as a kid”, she does nothing but post on the same village Facebook about everything she has deemed wrong about the village since she arrived, unsurprisingly sileage does smell when the wind is in a certain direction, yes there may well be mud on the road during sugar beet season and no there is going to be a regular bus service to a village of 12 houses 8 times a day!
This reminds me of a genius post on our local Facebook page -
"Did anyone else hear what sounded like loads of sheep last night? Any idea what it was?"
The village (and for those that know Disley, I am using the word advisedly) is literally surrounded by fields of sheep...
The village (and for those that know Disley, I am using the word advisedly) is literally surrounded by fields of sheep…
My favourite is the "missing dog please share" Facebook posts, yes Anne, it is terrible that a dog has gone missing, but it went missing 400 miles away in ****in Aberystwyth!!
I've had plenty of crazy neighbours over the years. The ones in our old house were the best fun. We lived in a row of 6 terraced houses with the same opposite. The immediate neighbours were lovely, normal folk but we had some real characters surrounding us.
We had a guy who was into all sorts of nefarious activities, from what I gather mostly a bit of car ringing etc. Reportedly he was stealing fuel from the local MOD base (according to one of the other nutters). Anyway he died a few years ago, all very suspicious. His estranged family basically went into the house and took a lot of stuff away and the place has been empty and rotting since.
The guy immediately next door to him had lived in a tent in Pembrokeshire for years and rented his house out. One day he came back and moved back in. I think at one point he had a family but that had broken down prior to him disappearing. There was a catalogue of incidents from him having his backyard excavated to build a workshop and having all the soil piled in the road outside his house to starting a war over some privet hedges surrounding his house. He was obviously going through something (our immediate neighbours were a young couple who WFH. She saw him from her office window sitting naked in his van the one day for example) and basically in the end we had around 8-10 Police officers come round and arrest him. He disappeared for a while but is now back and very quiet.
The guy 2 doors down was a fun guy too. His family are one of those families everyone knows for the wrong reasons. Bit like something out of Shameless I'd say. He worked on the fairgrounds with his sons and had regular trips to Ireland. He loved a good scrap and was a proper scary guy from the stuff he used to tell me. He did chase the other nutter described above down the street one evening after all his stupid behaviour got too much, thought he was going to kill him...literally.
Despite all this I used to get along fine with them all even though I had to tell the one guy to shut the f*ck up in the early hours of the morning once. That was a fun time...
We moved a couple of years ago and all is quiet thankfully. Danger Baby who lives across the road is a story for another day.
Our first house. We went for a walk one summer's evening and glanced down into the front window (house lower than road level, lights on and curtains wide open) to see a couple sat stark naked on their sofa, facing the window, just watching tv. I had to double back to make sure I wasn't imagining it. I wasn't, but let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight! Like Naked Attraction, compelling but hideous (so I'm told...).
We had an alcoholic neighbour secretly drinking in the park behind my house. He would leave his bottles of cheap wine, food wrappers and fag packets there most nights. It was quite remarkable, he would sneak out with the dog, down two bottle of cheap red wine in 5 mins then head home again. Despite there being bins, he would still stash the evidence in a bush. I spoke to him a couple of times and he denied it being him, despite me being able to see him from my back window. I know he had a problem and needed help but it was still no excuse for not using the available bin.
After this went on for a couple of months I collected a few weeks worth of his bottles and relocated them to his front lawn one evening. It was quite a noise and impressive site. He stopped littering after that.
I had a housemate called Adam. He was morbidly obese, yet played American football for sheff uni. He rarely showered and utterly stank. My bedroom window was under his window and slowly became yellow. Turns out he was peeing in a stein and then throwing it out into the garden.
A few years ago, I lived off tooting common. The neighbours were fine, but my dog spooked the men who cottaged in the woodlands opposite my flat at night.
And in Brixton, I lived off acre lane. The street was apparently territory for one local gang. Besides the fireworks, they were absolutely fine
Shouty lady next door at our old house would have an argument with her own shadow. Screaming and shouting several times a month with her daughter and partner. Arguing with Trip advisor reviewers for their restaurant (now closed). Shouting at me and my wife for whatever she could think of.
My wife did open a wrongly delivered letter.
It was a letter giving her a refund for her anger management course.
Very glad she is no longer in the country.
oooh ive remembered another neighbour.
Drill rapper Digga D admits drugs charges after Instagram Live arrest
maybe not the right demographic on here to know your rappers, but earlier this year we were told that thered been an armed raid on a house on our road in the early hours. unassuming lincolnshire village, nothing ever happens here. the house has high fences, nobody knew who lived there, reports of nefarious looking youths coming and going all the time tho......
then it made the news, tv reporters, papers, police cars camped outside, talk of the village.
"some rapper called digga d been arrested for drugs"
"armed police kicking his door in while he was doing a live instagram video feed"
"anyone heard of digga d?"
"who?"
"no me neither"
our lads were far more impressed.....
"digga d lives on your street??? nahhhh! wow cant believe it!! you never heard of digga d?? he's massive!!"
now residing at his majestys pleasure.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-69069603
Our downstairs neighbours were lovely, it was proper chat take bins out, thanks, lovely day , oh I just cut your grass too type stuff.
New older lady moves in, lots of "oh you'll love her, she's lovely". Mmmm
She'll walk past her own bin that we've taken down and not being it back (solved by now not taking her bin down). She spent £15k on a garden renovation but didn't get the slope leveled. Most bizarrely she sweeps the little stones from the tarmac at her garage into little piles under my car. I've mentioned twice that she does this, she denied it even though second time she was doing it just before I spoke to her. Nice enough lady but has her own ways. Oh she drives to church every Sunday then after service goes straight for a walk. Must be 150m to the church.
We used to refer to our next door neighbours as "The Bats" because the husband would exclusively mow the lawn at night by torchlight (not a euphemism, but would be a great one).
Also was once woken up to the sound of the wife attacking a car on the road with a branch (think Fawlty Towers style thrashing) because it was parked in "her" space (she didn't actually have a car, but it was outside their house).
Other than that very pleasant, if slightly odd. Went off down to their other house in Shoreham about 20 years ago for the weekend and haven't come back yet, so nice and quiet these days! We do get the occasional call to ask if we're still keeping an eye on the garden for her, don't seem phased when we mention the garden is fine but there's not much of a roof left on the house!
I was reminded of this thread this week...
The small sewer running behind and carrying effluent from a handful of houses blocked. We're one of the middle of the four (I think) houses serviced by it and had no idea there was any problem. Our bonkers neighbour had a vintage day though. We learned there was a problem when we were accused on her doorstep of having flooded our house by having used water (before us knowing there was any issue). In her eyes the water on her kitchen floor was our fault. She then told us she thought the neighbours on the other side had maliciously blocking the sewer because she'd heard them in their garden and she seemed to expect/want us to validate her theory and somehow back her up. It aubsequently turned out that I was the first person to log the problem with the water company, because she thought she'd get her household insurers to sort it (!). We're not sure when she became aware that there was a problem, but it seems it might have been a while before. She then ranted to us that the same neighbours on the other side (who share no love for her or her antics) unreasonably refused to ring the water company because they didn't have any problems with their drain. It sounded like this added weight to her belief that they were responsible. She told us that she'd told the water company she had cancer and that they were being unacceptably slow in sending an engineer but that to her frustration they'd refused to commit to beyond doing their best; about ten minutes later her husband cleared the blockage with a pipe snake.
The guy in the flat above me 20years ago,worked on a farm, put straw on the floor and left his dog in all day.When someone asked about the crap in there he said some kids had put it through the letterbox
Every night id hear him dropping what sounded like change on the floor. he wasnt friendly, he was menacing, and when the ambulance arrived one day to take him back to the funny farm, he told them to F off.
When he went to work on portaloos, the whole block stunk from him walkin up the stairs
