[Closed] Engineering terms

I've just had to price up a Banjo Throttle

OK in the privacy of your own home.

12 - 18 months in Tescos. Name on the register.

*dares to google*
*breathes sigh of disappointment*

Is that to stop your banjo string snapping?

I had a bacon banjo this morning.

Managed to get "dirty flange" into a report this week.

we've got a load of "dirty boxes" unfortunately

Hand me the bastard file would you?

Would you give me a ball pein please

Deal with 'donkeys dicks' and 'bell ends' quite regularly, (subsea engineering - call it as you see it apparently).

Managed to get "dirty flange" into a report this week.

I once worked in a civil engineering company whose workforce had evolved sufficiently to be able to discuss a "reducing flange" with straight faces.

Aside from me, obviously.

I recently emailed an engineer called Dick Gotthardt

I quite like [I]isokinetic probe[/i].

We use them in our sterility test isolators for particle monitoring.

I once worked in a civil engineering company whose workforce had evolved sufficiently to be able to discuss a "reducing flange" with straight faces.

One of the benefits of chemical engineering is I get to talk about flanges. I keep a striaght face, but inside....

Also, we have a process in the software we use called 'NativeLauncher.exe' which always makes me s****

yeah, greased flanges never fail to have my inner child s****ing.

Nipple lubricant anyone?

Turning areas at the end of cul-de-sacs are generally just called 'dogs bollocks' by everyone in construction.

I'm wasting time on here while contemplating finalising a thermography report on Boiler Penetration Seals. Many of which are leaky.

A bit of site work today installing some kit.
I was introduced as the 'Erection Engineer in charge'.

[i]"Will he turn it into a cock up?"[/i]
[i]"How long will the erection take?"[/i]
etc,etc,

Oh how we laughed 😉

We (Engineering) sit in a quiet corner of the office just out of earshot of the inane wittering of the commercial team. Occasionally one of the scientists will borrow a spare desk for some peace and quiet. A while ago she’d been sitting there for about an hour when she piped up,

“I’ve heard hardened shaft, reaming, black COC which might be ‘things’ but there is no way there is a thing called a sex bolt, you’re just making that up”

Oil gas is brilliant.

"Your strippers look dry, you don't want to run in hole with dry strippers"
"Hit the strippers lube button"

Or alternatively

"John is in big trouble, he over pressured and blew out
T his bottom plug"

"Oh no, we might need to do a squeeze job"

Just remembered this one. A few weeks ago, one of the female engineers projects was getting messed about by the people who are in charge of writing the safety documents. Upshot, (after some arguing) was that they had to knock off early for the day. So Debbie, (engineer) marches down the office shouting at not inconsiderable volume

".... and now I'm going to have to go and pull all my men off!"

Half a day off and a hand shandy? Lucky bastards. 😆

Managed to get "dirty flange" into a report this week.

By accident or design? A colleague of mine, in the early days of spellcheck, unwittingly replaced all incidents of 'warehouse' in a report with 'whorehouse'

Meanwhile....

'Glory Hole'

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A colleague of mine, in the early days of spellcheck, unwittingly replaced all incidents of 'warehouse' in a report with 'whorehouse'

Our old secretary has more than once sent a reply out to schools asking for large size wellie suppliers....

My day is mostly spent doing up and undoing various types, shapes and sizes of flanges. Screwed flange, blank flange and slip on weld flange to name but a few.
Last weeks hilarity surrounded a knob falling off a solenoid, the knob was replaced in the wrong orientation and created 2 days of flange spitting and pipe cleaning 👿

Worked with a welder who's nickname was Flangio... sure you can backfill the reason... so to speak

I quite like thermal pumping.

Donkey dicks, elephant foreskins, chicken lips, snotter bucket. Some of the wonderful terms working on street sweepers and hgvs

I use a piece of software that uses something called a Geometry String, or as its abbreviated...
a G-String.

I laugh every time they're mentioned, nobody else does 😆 😳

Flange
Gang milling
blow off valve

also I used with work with an engineer called Roman Minge

Had to write a CAD assignment consiting of a number of parts.

Front bush
Rear bush
Shaft
Flange

🙂

We frequently have to discuss the penetration capability of things, and correspondingly, the resistance of things to penetration. I consider it a marker that the joy has been crushed out of someone when they lose the slight smirk...

Full penetration butt weld.

22years ago I was introduced to these, still laugh myself silly when I specify them.

I always enjoyed getting my podger out.

Flanges aren't funny any more. Neither are penetrations or shafts. All the joy seems to have been sucked out my life.

At my dad's pattern makers some years ago I stumbled across a part which the foreman had scribbled "-1MD" and sent back to the factory floor.

One midge's dick of material carefully shaved off.

So how many midge's dicks to a gnat's cock?

Early days...
Rear suspension mounted to a triangulated braced bracket.
The W-anchor bracket.

RFSO Raised Face Slip On (flange) one company i worked at had them with a product code 69 made no sense no idea why

'Big ring stress'
Makes me giggle and wince at the same time.

Being sent to the stores at an oil refinery shut down for a sky hook.
Stores guy didn't even blink, just sent me to another store etc.

By accident or design?

I used to like telling the team to warmup the Volumatic Disintegrator

Unfortunately not something provided by the ACME corporation for bugs bunnies Martian foe, but a document shredder on steroids

Righty tighty,lefty loosey.
Half day Friday.
🙂

Tornado aircraft, have both a "bastard" panel and pipe. Several donkeys dicks. And quite a bit of the cockpit is held together with gorilla snot

Our rack mount power supplies are courtesy of Wayne Kerr!

Monkey Spunk, which was cable ID sleeve lubricant.

stu170 - Member
Tornado aircraft, have both a "bastard" panel and pipe

Jammed into Zone 19 doing an In-flight re-fuelling probe change by any chance? I nearly drowned in Avtur the first time I did that job.

Hairy scary, the bastard pipe is a little angular ecs pipe that fits on the alien in zone 19. Spent 2 weeks in there, changing a canopy torque tube, and that ifrp pipe is certainly a bugger. About 6 weeks later, I did such a good job on the first, I had another 2 week stay in there. My body is still bruised from rogue hyd pipes years later.

Had an auditor in last week.
The humourless QA guy brought him in.
His introduction was utterly priceless...

"Paul....can I introduce you to Dick..."

I regularly use my King Dick and some penetrating lubricant on the occasional rusty orifice of a flange.

I used to deal with a nice designer called Helmut ****e.

Oh and the w-anchor was sold as a windsurfing accessory in the states back in the day.