Domestics
 

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[Closed] Domestics

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Oh Pi$$.
One of the wifes friends is going through a messy break up and it's coming to a head today (maybe).
Her partner is heading over to hers on the bus with his parents in pursuit to claim his son (shame he's shown **** all paternal interest in the last 3 years but there you go).
Now I've been volunteered to go over if the situation becomes heated.
I'm not happy about this as it looks like a no win situation. No matter what happens I'm going to end up on the wrong side of it all.

I'd rather gnaw off my arm than get involved in a domestic. It's bad enough dealing with them at work & those aren't friends.

As i said earlier oh pi$$.

Unfortunately s*dding off on the bike for a couple of hours until it all blows over isn't now an option much as I'd like too.

Ooooh no swear filter!!!!!


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 1:52 pm
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Are they married? If not then I believe he has no claim to custody of the son without some form of legal agreement.
When you say "[i]heading over to hers[/i]", is it [b]her[/b] property or [b]theirs[/b]? If it is not his, she can refuse entry.
How far are they in legal terms with regards to custody of the son? Who is legally in the right? You're right though, sounds messy and whatever you end up doing will upset someone!


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 2:00 pm
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Best to go, just to show a bit of support.

Be ready to call the police, if it does look like getting nasty.

This sounds like a bad one. it's the kids that have to be thought of first, and what's in their best interests. Is it possible to move them to a neutral venue, and let the adults try to sort things out? The sight of parents rowing/fighting is very traumatic for children, and can have long-lasting consequences. Best to keep any upheaval to a minimum, for them.

If his parents are likely to cause extra trouble, then make them stay outside/tell them to **** off. It's not really their business anyway; it's between the two parents. They are likely to make things worse.

Go with your missus, and be prepared to explain you are there to support the woman, and ensure no harm comes to her. Be a man; no-one wants to be in this position, but you're well out of it, as far as the impact goes. It's not you that's affected. Go and help a fellow human being.

If it kicks off, I can guarantee you police and Social Services will be involved. maybe they should be.

Good luck. Hope it ends as peacefully as possible.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 2:03 pm
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Not married, Her property, They were living together.
Don't think they've got as far as custody/access.
It's at the get your stuff & go stage. He seems to think that includes the wee lad.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 2:05 pm
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You need to be there, mate. Get gone. And maybe alert the police as to any potential trouble. They will have the power to call Social Services, and certainly prevent the child from being snatched away from his mum.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 2:06 pm
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Can't take the missus, she's ill.

His parents are more likely to take her point of view but what use they'll be in defusing things I don't know.
I'll go if I'm called. I'll be calling the fuzz if it gets out of hand and try to defuse things until they arrive.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 2:13 pm
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Doesn't sound a nice situation.

On a Captain Flashheart note, if I were in that situation I would probably send a Domestic over to sort it out. That is what staff are for I suppose.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 5:27 pm
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If you think its going to get messy, tell her to take the kid out of the house and stay out for a couple of hours. You could be there to let him collect his stuff, but don't expose a child to that sort of thing FFS.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 5:31 pm
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Yeah make sure she and the kid are out of the house. If they are not married he has no legal claim to the child or he property.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 5:40 pm
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to 'claim his son'

are children deemed 'property' of the parents until 16?


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 5:45 pm
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head twister - try and steer a middle path as best you can.

I am sure you'll do the right thing whatever that turns out to be


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 6:01 pm
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Unmarried fathers do have rights as long as they registered the child jointly with the mother at the registry office (since 2001 I believe). If he was there he has rights, if not, he has none

Simple as that.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 6:09 pm
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It seems to have come to nothing & he hasn't turned up.
I really hope they sort things amicably..........


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 6:14 pm
 Smee
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What exactly does it have to do with you? I would stay right out of it.


 
Posted : 03/01/2009 8:20 pm