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Deciding to leave y...
 

Deciding to leave your partner.

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Posted by: Ro5ey

I saw a quote the other day .... Would you be happy if your child was married to your partner?

No. For one thing, the age gap would be a bit icky

 


 
Posted : 10/07/2025 12:12 pm
ads678 and v7fmp reacted
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or you could try and be the best version of you possible.

And when you find out that the best version of you is still pretty crap?

(That's not aimed at you personally, btw! 😀 )


 
Posted : 10/07/2025 2:31 pm
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Posted by: v7fmp

Posted by: weeksy

If we all get fixed, what a bloody robotic world we'd live in.

Or a world where people are calmer, kinder, more tolerant, more open minded, nicer.

As its been said, counselling of any form is a personal choice and you have to want it and find a good one, that works with you.

But equally, if you are happy to carry trauma, resentment, pain, mental weight and whatnot else around with you, thats also fine. A lot of the time, the reason you act in situation A can be caused by trauma Z many moons ago, you just dont know it.

I've had a bit of therapy over the years and i am a better person for it, which then means my wife gets more out of me, as do my children. As do my friends and family. Everyone wins. You could be content with who you are and your 'ups and downs', or you could try and be the best version of you possible.

If you'd known me 20 years ago you'd know this is the best version of me possible 

 


 
Posted : 10/07/2025 3:03 pm
 wbo
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Well thats great for you but I didn't get that impression of the OP. 

I'll fess up.. I'm divorced,  we made it pretty clean , put  a lot of priority on the kids. For us it was a good idea, but don't assume it's a magic happiness pill,


 
Posted : 10/07/2025 3:36 pm
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If we all get fixed, what a bloody robotic world we'd live in.

We have very, very different perspectives on counselling. Where are you getting "robotic" from? It seems the polar opposite to me. Counselling is there to help you understand your feelings.


 
Posted : 10/07/2025 4:41 pm
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Sorry to hear you have found yourself in a unhappy situation.

Over 20 years we each change; that's a lot of personal growth if done well. It's sad to admit, but sometimes two people just don't grow in the same direction.

Counselling can offer you distraction techniques and possibly change your perspective on things to become that person you really don't want to be at this time. However, if you can afford it, then time away will be a better gauge of what's best moving forward .. you may realise things worse on the other side - or realise just how bad things really were.

Good luck.


 
Posted : 11/07/2025 4:37 am
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Posted by: e-machine

Over 20 years we each change; that's a lot of personal growth if done well. It's sad to admit, but sometimes two people just don't grow in the same direction.

Very much this - we've lived together 25 years now, youngest about to fly the nest, both trying to find the balance of being who we want to be as individuals and hopefully also as a couple.

 


 
Posted : 11/07/2025 8:22 am
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