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Oxytocin. Preventing infanticide since the beginning of time
This thread is peak STW condescending arsehole central.
And rising.
And did anyone expect anything else?
10 Pence
10 Pence
50 Pence
Pound.
Go to Torquay…..worked for me.
France worked for me.
Avoid Center Parcs though. That won’t work.
On a vaguely sensible answer.
Read Sperm Wars
https://www.academia.edu/31191375/SPERM_WARS_Infidelity_Sexual_Conflict_and_Other_Bedroom_Battles
How the subconscious works; learn to read when she's fertile etc.
And on a slightly too much detail front, it helps if she has an orgasm afterwards. All to do with the cervix dipping in the pool of semen, and drawing it up into the uterus. https://www.sharecare.com/health/gynecology/biological-reason-female-orgasm
Told you!
I read the news and decided against it. Can't say recent news has changed my point of view at all.
Each to their own though.
given procreating is the biggest single impact you can have on the planet
True that - your child may be the one who solves the problem of building a nuclear fusion reactor and hence unlimited free power without polution and the ability to reverse global warming.
Damn good chance OP your good lady has mentioned "its a good time" as she is already 'enroute' and was testing your reaction... Well, that was my experience anyway 🤣 🤣
First one took 2 years next time it was 2 with the first shot!
Ignore the above. Kids are great. To maximise your conception chances, it helps to try when your partner is most fertile, and it’s not as long as you think (but mercifully not the day or so a year for pandas).
It could be first time or it could be never happen. After a year of no success, seek medical assistance.
They take all your time, space and money, and your life is never the same again. It’s much better. My two have survived to adulthood and they still seem to like me.
There was much discussion with Madame. On balance we thought that we could cope with one, and that just one would add more to our lives than it would take away (the selfish bit). Then we considered the life the child would have, would it be a happy life and a contribution to society. We thought that where and how we live that was possible (the non selfish bit).
We cleaned up our act, no drink or medication of any kind for a while and then stopped using condoms, and it was literally first time lucky, he's 22 today.
£1.70
Another vote for 'don't do it from me'.
Mine are ace and I wouldn't be without them but deffo makes your life far, far worse. (Makes your wife's life far worse as well, not sure why they can't see that.)
If it has to happen there are some amazing times so don't be too despondant, but basically, avoid it.
Another vote for ‘don’t do it from me’.
Mine are ace and I wouldn’t be without them but deffo makes your life far, far worse. (Makes your wife’s life far worse as well, not sure why they can’t see that.)
If it has to happen there are some amazing times so don’t be too despondant, but basically, avoid it.
I find this perspective amazing. No matter what our kids have "taken away" from us be it money, sleep, material objects etc, I love them and their impact on us to death and wouldn't consider my life being worse with them - YMMV of course. I cannot understand this attitude at all.
he’s 22 today.
Happy Birthday to Edukator Jnr!
The missus has decided that now is the time to have sproglets
None of you clever know what right for other people and the planet etc types have mentioned the obvious... it should be equally desired by both parties.
Can we just check this is the case before we go on?
What nobeer and weeksy said , you don’t want kids , fine but why comment on a thread where a guy is asking advice on having kids ?
For what it’s worth OP my mrs laid on her back for 20 mins after the dirty deed , old wives tail maybe but we were lucky that it seemed to happen quite easy for us
Don’t listen to the doom mongers. To increase the population you have to have 4 kids, 2, replace you, a third to maintain the population to make up for those who don’t have kids and a 4th (well actually part of a 4th) to grow the population - how many people do your know with four or more kids? I know one couple so it’s hardly rife. As more and more of the world is coming out of poverty as more and more countries are becoming developed those in the birth rates in the developing. WOrld is dropping off dramatically as people do don’t need to have lots of kids and can’t Afford them. So overpopulation Is not a risk at all so if you want kids have ‘em.
For the folk saying "don't have kids" I'm quite interested in the reasons for this.
Are they fundamentally misanthropic?
If you have kids and you raise them they are quite likely to be a lot like you and your partner. Do you think that you and your partner have a net negative impact on society? If so then fair enough, don't have kids.
For those who don't want kids because they are bad for the planet - for whom are you saving the planet?
Thanks Kryton!
In terms of adding:
I got to meet lots of good people: his school mates, their parents, his university mates and their parents, his girlfriends, his clubmates - and we do/did interesting stuff with them
I skied more than I would have done as he started racing.
We did more cycling - kidiback tandem across Europe, then VTT then he joined our club
We went to more concerts, because he was playing
In terms of headaches:
14 to 18 was challenging
Madame will no doubt work a bit longer to pay his rent in expensive places but she likes her job and refuses the idea of early retirement and making do on savings.
Love mine to bits, be prepared for a rollercoaster. See https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/16-year-old-son-smoking-weed/page/6/
It's a shame the world isn't a better place to bring kids up, and every change seems to add more complications.
fine but why comment
Two sides to every argument/discussion innit.
Even some of those who have had kids recommend not having them, some of those without kids recommend not having them and vice-versa.
Like anything in life, always opponents and opposing views.
Just passing on the realities...
But you knew all that, didn’t you.
A question for the " Don't have kids" brigade....
Who's going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself?
Mine are ace and I wouldn’t be without them but deffo makes your life far, far worse. (Makes your wife’s life far worse as well, not sure why they can’t see that.)
MAkes life worse ? What the holy F.... Couldn't be any further from my experience
Feels like your request for advice may be a little, ahem, premature.
Good luck. For something which starts off as fun it can get surprisingly stressful but is worth it in the end LOL.
moonsaballoon
Subscriber
What nobeer and weeksy said , you don’t want kids , fine but why comment on a thread where a guy is asking advice on having kids ?For what it’s worth OP my mrs laid on her back for 20 mins after the dirty deed , old wives tail maybe but we were lucky that it seemed to happen quite easy for us
Cause they've got the time to browse the forum to do so instead of picking food off the walls and killing the planet like the rest of us wrong 'uns.
I find this perspective amazing. No matter what our kids have “taken away” from us be it money, sleep, material objects etc, I love them and their impact on us to death and wouldn’t consider my life being worse with them – YMMV of course. I cannot understand this attitude at all
Isnt it. It's the worst job at times but ultimately fulfilling and I love living vicariously through my climate damaging sprogs. High chance that if you love them like they love you then you'll probably not die alone either.
As for Op: just bang away. Our first 8 kids took about 3 months each to conceive. It'll happen when it happens.
Great thread this 🙂
The planet is on it’s arse because of over population, just get her to give you a good ole hand shandy instead.
You can have up to two kids and still not be contributing to overpopulation.
But another (somewhat more arrogant) perspective is that the kind of conscientious values that are held by people who are worried about their impact on the planet are exactly the kind of values we need to be propagated in society in order to save it.
A question for the ” Don’t have kids” brigade….
Who’s going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself?
That's a joke. Isn't it?
A question for the ” Don’t have kids” brigade….
Who’s going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself?
An economic migrant most likely. If I had kids not sure I’d want to balls their life up looking after me (I currently have a dad with early dementia and a Mad Irish Mother (this an actual thing rather than a descriptor))
Who’s going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself?
I think that's a bad reason to have kids.
That’s a joke. Isn’t it?
Do I strike you as the type to make jokes?
Two sides to every argument/discussion innit.
Does there have to be ? The OP was asking for advice and experiences of conceiving yet he got a load of responses from people justifying their life choices and people who don’t know him trying to convince him not to have kids .
but you knew all that, didn’t you
I always imagine responses like that said in a kind of nasally whiny voice
Don’t expect it to be easy; after 5 miscarriages I was ready to give up as the emotional toll on my wife was almost too much to bear and it wasn’t easy on me either. Sex became a chore; following the calendar and thermometer. It almost broke us.
We persevered though and our son is 21 this year.
That’s a joke. Isn’t it?
Hmm... who typed it?
Another question for the ” Don’t have kids” brigade….
What if you need a kidney, eh?
what is your age, or more importantly your wifes age?
this is important as you may find there are certain rules around fertility treatment for your area. So if stuff doesn't go to plan you need to know how quickly you should be engaging help from the NHS.
We nearly missed the boat and had to pay (a lot) for IVF because my wife had just turned 35 when we spoke to the consultant. However we'd be in the system for about a year, and had been trying since she turned 30.
Luckily the first round worked, and the second was natural (and pretty quick when we started). Both are now 4.5 and 2.5
Re whether they are worth it. I have brilliant days, and I have truly awful days. They have stretched my emotional bandwidth hugely. Lack of sleep (by that I mean less than 4 broken hours a night for 3 years as the second one was as bad as the first) basically broke me, and I'm still recovering. Everything is easy if you have sleep....pray you get an easy one and read this not really understanding the fuss other parents make about a couple of missed hours....
Oh and from the small sample that is my friends, girls are much much much easier when they are little.
Bet you wish you'd never asked brokenbanjo.
Another question for the ” Don’t have kids” brigade….
Is it cos you don't want anyone else to play with your Lego/Airfix?
Turned out we'd been 'trying" for longer than I'd realised. Seems to be more common than you'd hoped. The timing of our first was far from my ideal, but I wouldn't be without them, despite the issues it caused.
Try not to make it a routine or duty, it's supposed to be fun.
Something like 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. We have 2 kids from 4 pregnancies. It will be a roller coaster.
If you can't have your own, consider adoption. The NHS spends thousands helping couples conceive. Children's services spends thousands more dealing with kids that need a safe and loving home their parents can't provide.
Be absolutely sure your relationship can survive. Every quirk and niggle now will be magnified a million times by sleep deprivation, constant illness and poverty
Who’s going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself
With the money I save from not having kids, when the day comes that I can't wipe my own arse I'll be employing a smoking hot eastern European nurse to look after me in my old age.
Do I strike you as the type to make jokes?
Now I feel stupid. 🙁
Don’t feel stupid. It wasn’t a joke.
It was a lazy*, half hearted troll.
*I have 3 kids. I’m really tired
Not up to your normal standard PP, we've come to expect so much from you and to have that stop, well, let's just say we feel let down.
it helps if she has an orgasm afterwards
Houston we have a problem
A question for the ” Don’t have kids” brigade….
Who’s going to care for you when you are no longer able to care for yourself?
I don't know if this is serious question, but if so, it's a bonkers argument in favour of having children. Who says your children would want to look after you when you're old/infirm? or even be able to? to expect them to seems incredibly selfish
It was a lazy*, half hearted troll.
just saw this...ignore me