Crap Joke Friday

I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun had gone earlier that evening.

Then it dawned on me

School holidays started on Friday and I've had the shits all weekend

thanks **** their mum is taking them to centerparcs tomorrow

I've got a 65 inch flat screen tv for sale. £50 if anyone is wants it. Buyer collects. The volume button doesn't work. But for that price you can't turn it down...

According to Facebook I did this "on this day" nine years ago (and according to me it took me bloody ages for a pretty lame gag):

I’ve just bought a Humpty Dumpty toy from Aldi. It’s brilliant! It comes with Aldi king’s horses and Aldi king’s men.

My old Chemistry teacher once threw sodium chloride in my eyes. That’s a salt, that is!

Railway museum is closed next week, they're organising a replacement bus museum..............

Sadly, the inventor of predictive text passed away recently. His funfair is next monkey

As I get older I find I only need three shops: Specsavers, Boots and Greggs. Life is just one long round of specs and drugs and sausage rolls.

Jurisprudence Fetishist gets off on technicality