[Closed] cats, why?

soft vs hard

Because it's a cat and does what it wants?

With cats it's always down to power and control. Or food.

With cats it's always down to power and control.

The Dog's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
------------------------------------------
The Cat's Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

Cats are scum

cheesybeanZ, that could possibly be the best thing ever to happen on this forum.

Why? Because my neighbour can't crap all over my slate drive themselves.

I see hunting season has started early this year, had 2 dead birds this week so far 🙁

Brilliant CheesybeanZ 😀

Because cats are more photogenic than dogs. Tempted to get one for a bit and then cook it when I get bored of taking photos of its evil, cute little face.

My brother's cat always carpped in the plant pot whenever my bro did something to upset him, like taking him to the vet or failing to put down the newspaper and tickle him behind the ears.

you dont here about children been savaged by cats on council estates do you....

you dont here about children been savaged by cats on council estates do you....

No, i guess you don't, but i do remember going to an interview at Reading University with my hand covered in blood after the cat decided it wanted lunch.

after the cat decided it wanted lunch

A cat tried to eat you ?

How big was it/how small are you ?

cat was trying to get my attention that is all, it tried the usual cries, rubbing etc. i ignored her so she moved to the next stage...

I've got a cat next to me right now trying to get my attention by meowing and being a general nuisance - cause it's hungry (the other two are asleep)

I'm choosing to ignore the little ****er for the time being .........I must be well'ard 8)

when smokey was about 8 months old, he dragged a squirrel that he'd killed through the catflap, proper pleased with himself - still gets them and eats em, they aren't for our benefit, pigeons are a regular summer treat for him and mice are toy/morsels

and he's very sociable too, all the neighbours know him and sits on the wall in the summer looking for attention from passers by

If you die alone in your flat, your dog will lie down next to you and die as well. Your cat will eat your face.

What a lovely thought 🙂

Any idea what happens if you die in your flat with a loan gerbil or a tank full of fish? Am I going to be found minus a face or just a jellied rotting corpse dripping into the flat below

you dont here about children been savaged by cats on council estates do you....

exactly, you don't here about it, thats how much influence cats have over the media.

If you die alone in your flat, your dog will lie down next to you and die as well. Your cat will eat your face

Back to the OP - cats sit in plant pots because they're warm. Those card egg trays are even warmer, stick one of those on the windowsill and they'll sit on that instead.

I shared a large flat once with a girl who had at least 3 cats, they tended not to stay still long enough to be counted. Anyway, if she ever fell out with anybody over anything, one of them would pee on the errant flatmate's bed. It peed on my fur coat too, when I left it on the floor. Was glad when she moved out, and I like cats.

Your cat will eat your face.

[Insert inappropriate joke that relies heavily on innuendo and no doubt will be labelled misogynistic]

you dont here about children been savaged by cats on council estates do you....

I have a sneaky suspicion that cats are like dolphins and only attack people in deep water/secluded areas where they are more likely to get away with it.

A cat is mans best friend !

Well mine is anyway, after taking a $hit in Mrs Davesport's slipper 8) He's a good lad that Colin.

he does swear so NSFW if you've got overly sensitive filters