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Johnson is likely to be the PM with the shortest tenure in history. He deserves that accolade
Worst BJ I've ever had, for sure
Anyway
Remember when Cameron called a ref to fix the Tories Europe problem once & for all?
Really not panning out well for him !
It's a strange old day isn't it.
Here's a theoretical, MPs appoint the PM, can they do that at any time, or just after a VONC?
Okay, they're not going to appoint Corbyn, but I reckon if he stepped aside for Tom Watson that could be sold, after a suitably long negotiation of course. Can you imagine TM stepping into No10, calling for Ref2 and putting this shit to bed! (well for a Decade a least, which I believe is how long you need to leave between A50)
Really not panning out well for him !
Oh I don't know, watching boris and the ERG bring the whole lot crashing down around their ears whilst comfortably on the side lines is certainly working well for me today.
Any word on Dominic Cummings reaction to the day’s events?
Someone best check on that new puppy in number ten 😂
Oh. My God.
https://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2019/06/my-boris-story
This is a longish read, but please don't stop halfway through as you'll totally miss the point.
Someone seems to have woken up Magic Grandad. Honestly, for three years or so now I thought that he'd died. He's all over Boris in PMQs. Bercow is continuing to rip new ones into the deserving.
So it seems that BJ is only capable of shouting, soundbites, and avoiding the question. He's said "dither and delay" FIVE times now.
On the bright side it's quite refreshing to see such an unpleasant man squirming in public. He looked angry and uncomfortable.
Heard someone say that he is now leader of BlueKIP...
said “dither and delay” FIVE times now.
perhaps it's maybot 16.0
That would imply some sort of improvement.
what like Jaws 3 ?
what like Jaws 3 ?
More like the Archbishop of Lima
Oh. My God.
You’re surprised that it’s all an act? That he’s an expert con man? I’m afraid I know people who’ve worked with him… great fun by all accounts… but they had to try and keep him away from anything that matters.
You’re surprised that it’s all an act? That he’s an expert con man?
Yep, everything about him is a charade, a caricature, an act.
He just makes stuff up on the fly - his entire career has been built on winging it, lying (or storytelling if you want to give it a slight vein of professionalism).
Making up stories at The Telegraph (all the anti-EU stuff).
That answer he gave about making and painting cardboard buses. So blatantly untrue that the collective media just rolled their eyes and laughed rather than actually calling him out on it.
The staged photo of him and his partner - he refused to say when and where it was taken. The whole bluff and bluster act he's done many times on HIGNFY, interviews, speeches...
No eye for details but can be relied upon to treat everything as a good old joke, some jolly larks and then home in time for tea and medals.
He says Boris Johnson is shouting at him now. He tells Johnson that the last time Johnson shouted at someone, they had to call the police
ooof.
You’re surprised that it’s all an act? That he’s an expert con man?
Yep, everything about him is a charade, a caricature, an act.
He just makes stuff up on the fly
I was more astonished that it was the opposite - he hadn't made it all up on the fly, the "making it up on the fly" act was in itself carefully planned.
That answer he gave about making and painting cardboard buses.
I cannot possibly think of any reason whatsoever why he might want that story to appear when one googles "boris bus."
the “making it up on the fly” act was in itself carefully planned
You’ve not heard all the stories of him preparing his hair and roughing up his clothes before appearances (he seems to have stopped this since he restarted his leadership bid as it happens)? And him changing into expensive perfect shiny shoes and a better suit after them?
call an election, you great big girl's blouse
Awesome, you couldn't make this up!
I'm not the most politically aware, but used to think Johnson was a scruffy harmless cycling buffoon, stumbling his way through politics, a breath of fresh air who whilst you wouldn't necessarily agree with his opinions, was at least prepared to take a kicking on HIGNFY.
Over the last few years it's become apparent that it's all a calculated act, an opportunist prepared destroy anything in order to further his own career.
You’ve not heard all the stories of him preparing his hair and roughing up his clothes before appearances
Oh, of course. But there's a world of difference between ruffling up your hair before you go on stage, and having a calculated and word-for-word scripted plan to do what he did in that story.
But there’s a world of difference between ruffling up your hair before you go on stage, and having a calculated and word-for-word scripted plan to do what he did in that story.
He's the Milton Jones of politics.
Bit unfair to compare that mop haired, one liner, poorly dressed, wacky fool to Milton Jones.
Yeah. Milton Jones is much, much cleverer.
The oldest joke formats are the best. Well done folks… made me chuckle.
The oldest joke formats are the best.
You listened to Paul Sinha's gen knowledge last night! 🙂 (Which is a good thing IMHO.)
I did. You got me. Enjoying the series.
Anyway…
https://twitter.com/guitarmoog/status/1169234937570086912?s=21
You’re surprised that it’s all an act? That he’s an expert con man?
Yep, everything about him is a charade, a caricature, an act.
He just makes stuff up on the flyI was more astonished that it was the opposite – he hadn’t made it all up on the fly, the “making it up on the fly” act was in itself carefully planned
He is not simply a buffoon.
Nor is he a clever man pretending to be a buffoon.
It appears he is actually a buffoon, pretending to be a slightly different type of buffoon.
That makes sense. If he acts the idiot with just enough clues for people to think that it's all an act, maybe they won't realise that he's actually an idiot. Double-bluff, sort of thing.
It appears he is actually a buffoon, pretending to be a slightly different type of buffoon.
There is the Ian Hislop quote
"Boris Johnson, people always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'".
A cunning double-bluffoon then.
He is not simply a buffoon.
Nor is he a clever man pretending to be a buffoon.
It appears he is actually a buffoon, pretending to be a slightly different type of buffoon.
He hid it so well. No-one had any inkling that he might be a bumbling, narcissistic sociopath.
The problem with our political system is that it promotes these traits and people can't tell the difference between genuine intelligence and a veneer of posh rote learning.
If you want to feel slightly more positive about politics, watch Jess Philips' speaking in last night's debate; not public-school educated or faux erudite, just genuine, articulate, passionate, bright, incisive and in touch with the interests of the people she represents. An absolute star.
double-bluffoon
chapeau
Poor cops. Made to wait for an hour and then have him dribble on.
This speech is amazing.
Sounds like the dying days of his time in office already.
Footage of this needs to be on every news bulletin for as long as possible this evening. Show it uncut if possible. So poor. He sounds done.
*! *! *! *!
He’s just (well, earlier this aft) walked down my high street in Morley! I was there earlier today (and live 5mins away), had I known/if I hadn’t come home to put frozen stuff in the freezer I could have given him my opinions!
Bollocks!!!
This speech is amazing.
while I know what you mean, you know that most of the press will show the bit where he says he's would "rather die in a ditch" and is prepared to have his brother resign rather than not deliver Brexit, while stood in front of a bunch of NEW cops.
Nick, it's the first link on the BBC!
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris' next speech... Nurses or teachers with kids?
Cringeworthy.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech?
A brick wall with a few small holes in it, with any luck.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech… Nurses...
I'd rather crap in my hands and clap than turn up for a photoshoot with that festering anal fistula.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech
Take your pick
Etc.
On Twitter just now (lost the source sadly):
"Talk about kicking a man when he’s down. Show some compassion man. Johnson has a family hiding from him somewhere."
you know that most of the press will show the bit where he says he’s would “rather die in a ditch” and is prepared to have his brother resign rather than not deliver Brexit, while stood in front of a bunch of NEW cops.
You called it perfectly.
Surely he's now being seen for the incompetent Buffoon he really is.
No more handy soundbites or carefully managed appearances.
He's front and centre now and being shown up as the shambolic, stuttering, clueless clownshoe he really is. He inspires absolutely zero confidence.
shown up as the shambolic, stuttering, clueless clownshoe he really is.
Clearly learned from Trump and it appears to work for him.
I've just realised Boris' genius plan. He's already promised to lie in front of a bulldozer to stop Heathrow, so was in a spot of bother before the whole dead in a ditch thing. If he now goes off and finds a suitable ditch near Heathrow he can lie in that in front of the bulldozer, not actually get killed as the bulldozer trundles over him but then say he did his best on two promises with just one muddy suit. And you all though he was a buffoon!
thepurist - by gum, I think you’ve got it! I volunteer to drive the bulldozer, as I’ve never driven one before, but I’d give it a good go, what’s the worst that could happen - might get stuck in a ditch, but, I mean Gove said we don’t need experts for anything. Oh, I’m also volunteering to carry out any surgery that Gove or his family needs, ‘cos y’know, you don’t need experts😁
Probably thinks digital watches are a pretty neat idea too.
Bozo's diary
Monday 2nd August
Excllent weekend, I feel the rebirth of the Tories under my steady hand will leave none in doubt that I'm truly a latter day Churchill.
That egghead Cummings really has a plan! he said with some vehemence he despises lazy, vain and stupid politicians and he assures me that he'll make them suffer. I'm glad Gove recommended we bring him in.
He made me say I really dont want an election, not sure why, I've stuffed old faggy breath farage & corbyns a useless commie.
Carrie has bought a dog, not sure about that but she says it'll be great optics.
Tuesday 3rd August
Those clowns in the opposition think they can make me ask for an extension, Cummings says that anyone who dares defy the PM (well he said 'defy him', but hes obviously talking about me) will be out on their arses. That'll put whiny Hammond in his place.
The dog is pissing and shitting everywhere, Carrie says she can train dogs to be loyal.
Wednesday 4th August
**** last night was a disaster, Cummings made me fire 20 of my MPs, he tells me it's all part of the plan, not seen him today, he was smashed last night hes got through a case of my best wines and half my coke.
It's ok I'm sure the old boys in the lord's will block it.
The dog did piss on Goveys shoes so I think we'll keep it around.
Thursday 5th August
Cummings tells me it's going to be OK, he's got a strong plan to send out a law and order message.
Some of my MPs are a bit annoyed about me firing old Soamsey, still, love and war !
Bugger now Jo has quit too, hes still angry because he caught me cheating at monopoly last Xmas, must be that.
Also a police cadet fainted behind me, silly girl, obviously doesn't get how important this is to me !
Leeds was even worse than I expected, this must have been how Alexander felt as he entered the barbarian lands.
Friday 6th August
Corbyn wont give me my election, not sure Cummings plan to take away my majority was the best, but he tells me he's got a stellar plan for a fried chicken gag.
Had to go to bloody Scotland too, they hate me up there.
Could'nt even take it out on Carrie, in case Saj overheard, went to kick the dog but slipped in a turd and fell on my arse.
😂😂😂😂
I like the fact you added he doesn't even know what month it is.
Does he actually think he’s still at school?
Boris Johnson calls David Cameron ‘a girly swot’ in leaked memo
Boris Johnson calls David Cameron ‘a girly swot’ in leaked memo
Hopefully Cameron looks at the draft of his book and quickly checks what he has written about Johnson and smiles.
He's working on the basis that if he does go against the law requiring him to request an extension, by that point the criminal justice system will have been reduced to rubble sufficiently that he'll never be prosecuted anyway....
long read but worth it
https://thesecretbarrister.com/2019/08/13/dont-fall-for-boris-johnsons-criminal-justice-con-tricks/
I love this picture of the petulant kid with what seems to be horns growing out of his head.
Straight horns, to adhere to the ghastly EU mandate that said we need straight bananas.
And horns.
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He wants to go down in history: 'BloJo'.
You'd think one of his advisors would have told him that petulantly banging his hand on the box the microphones are bolted to is really bloody annoying
If he now resigns he will then be able to have never won a vote. Joy
Is this what the tories mean by "<i>strong and stable government</i>"?
If he now resigns he will then be able to have never won a vote. Joy
The sooner this clown ceases to represent our country the better. Hopefully it will all end in a lot of tears and that dangerous Mekon lookalike will get the boot along with him.
"Boris Johnson is the first prime minister to have been found by a court to have misled a king or queen."
another achievement for him.
To be fair to him he does want to be remembered by history and he probably will be. He might even enter the language. Fk me pal, you've made a right Boris of that
No longer the party of Law & Order
No longer the party of business
Not trying to conserve anything
Tories are just a windsock that flaps around wildly as farage bellows populist nonsense into them
According to Dominic Grieve, Boris is likely to be the first PM to be found in contempt of parliament if all the Yellowhammer stuff hasn't been released by next week.
That'll be another first to add to his rapidly lengthening list
That’ll be another first to add to his rapidly lengthening list
of course we have to look at this in the context of the Trump administration. We can't take any comfort from Johnson's incompetence as it comes as no surprise -like Trump he established himself as incompetent long ago and got the job anyway. For anyone else this string of failures would do huge reputatonal damage.
Blair had 4 defeats in his whole tenure as PM. Same number for Thatcher. Four defeats per decade verses six in a week.
But him being shit at the job doesn't matter to the people who put him in power, and it won't do any damage to his popularity.
I've said this before - Boris's job is to **** things up, and he's making a good fist of it.
JP
the yellowhammer stuff's been released.
https://news.sky.com/story/operation-yellowhammer-government-no-deal-brexit-documents-released-11807339?fbclid=IwAR3YusL6jV3LuALuj4DVvCGb1gPESf4MCMQb3PmLWszjbGsyYtENdaI5XYo
Just when you thought he couldn't lose the plot any further,
https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/12/boris-insists-bridge-ireland-scotland-cost-15000000000-10731523
The most shamelessly political bridge idea since Putin connected up Crimea.
You could knock a good chunk off the road journey timen to NI by dualing the road from Gretna to Stranraer, at a fraction of the cost.
The cost:benefit of this bridge would be hilarious, versus say building a proper rail connections betweens Manchester / Leeds / Liverpool / Hull / Sheffield or 15bn of proper cyle infrastructure.
We should just drain the Irish Sea and have done with it.
It's just another one of his crappy "dead cat" things isn't it?
Other may disagree, perchy;
The sea, oh the sea is the gradh geal mo croide
Long may it stay between England and me
It's a sure guarantee that some hour we'll be free
Oh, thank God we're surrounded by water
We should have three bridges then.
Ardrossan to Brodick
Arran to Campbelltown
Mull of Kintyre Lighthouse to Norn Iron.
Probably cheaper. Enough change left to build a wall up the middle of the English Channel. Probably.