[Closed] Blokes, sitting down to pee................

....and yet the world keeps spinning.

Bindun, Mr Soggy-Shoes

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/does-sitting-down-to-wee-make-you-less-of-a-man

I was thinking about this the other today too!

One of my wife's friends has told her that to avoid getting piss on the floor of the bathroom, she makes her husband and two sons sit down to have a wee.

My wife then suggested that me and my son do the same thing.

Ain't gonna happen love, you're not emasculating me. Piss on the floor is part of living with a man I'm afraid. Sometimes it just leaps out or a bit of skin gets in the way of the stream.

I do when i'm at sea on a sailing yacht. So much easier and far more hygenic.

a bit of skin gets in the way of the stream.

thats no way to refer to the wife. Watersports fan are we?

Piss is sterile, no hygiene concerns there. You can drink it.

I think it's great every now and then. Especially useful when I'm too pissed to make out the bowl clearly.

You can drink it.

can [s]she[/s] you indeed? 😯

How do you sit [u]on[/u] an open window or back door?

roper - Member
How do you sit on an open window or back door?

what about the edge of the sink.......... 😉

Ever since i had a hernia i have to sit down to pee my doc said i wasn't to lift anything heavy 😉

what about the edge of the sink.........

My boys refer to it as having a "posh wee wee".

Whatever next, theyll want us to use moist wipes to moistureise after doing a number 2.

??? surely if you sit down you'd miss the bush ???

3 things concern me:

1. That ANYONE even thinks about crap like this.
2. That guys spill pee all over themselves when peeing.
3. That Stoner remembers a 5 month old thread about it.

I knew we'd agree about something one day ton 8)

Middle of the night piss sitting down so don't need to put the light on

Sometimes it's necessary if you're too tired/hung over to bother aiming.

I tend to do it in the morning while I brush my teeth, multitasking at its finest.

I can't read standing up (I go for 5 minutes peace).

Much less risk of dropping the phone in the bog while perusing STW...

My wife then suggested that me and my son do the same thing.

Tell her if she makes you then it's vice versa for taking a dump.

I can't read standing up (I go for 5 minutes peace).

You should get your prostate sorted.

Much more comfortable, guaranteed not to miss, a quick read while you do? Why not?

Just not in the garden, though (I think that was another thread, ages ago)

I poo standing up, try it, it's very satisfying.

post/pre coital its often convenient to sit down so you can tuck the old fella under the rim, as standing up would produce the sprinkler effect.

penrod.............small c*ck or big bog seat?? 😉

My mate who's moved to Germany has been forced into it. If it's late at night and mrs deadly's asleep, I'll sometimes do it to avoid pulling the 85dB pull cord in our bathroom. I've found that you shouldn't have even the slightest desire for a poo though. Otherwise it can create unwanted turtle tail. 🙂

Bit worried by Stoner's obsession with watersports. Methinks thou dost... 😉

ton, are you using yet another thread to assert your masculinity?

Piss is only sterile while in the body...

I often do it when reading/tired/hungover/half asleep.

A bigger question is whether you sit down or stand up to 'wipe' after a solid...

you ever taken a piss in bare feet, or in shorts? or left a newspaper on the ground next to the loo? Then you'd have noticed that even if you're pissing directly into the bowl, there's quite a bit of teeny tiny droplets/spray flying back up; over your legs, on to your feet and all over the floor... gross!

Sitting down doesn't work, for me there is always the fear of touching the bowl. Which sort of reminds me of that classic asian chick thread:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191

Don't click if you don't have a sense of humour.

i sit down to pee when I have a new woman over to the house. I dont want someone Im trying to bed to hear me pee.

No way "thekingisdead"! Force it out as hard as you can - it sounds like a horse having a pee then - that'll impress them 😉

I have to sit down as I have a bad back and the doctor has told me not to lift anything heavy 😆

Sit down all the time for a few reasons
1/ I am the only male in our house so cant blame anyone else

2/ I fit flooring in loads of bathrooms and the stink round he back of some is dire

3/ as said above easier in the dark

A bigger question is whether you sit down or
stand up to 'wipe' after a solid...

Or whether you around the side or through the legs..

Personally I'm a "remain seated and reach through" kinda guy.

Is that when you're cottaging Graham ? 🙂

Always sit down for a pee at home. Stand when out / at work; don't see what there is to get excited about.

sitting down always makes my third leg hit the front of the toilet bowl. It's blooody awful 😡

Mikey65 - Member
I have to sit down as I have a bad back and the doctor has told me not to lift anything heavy

My spidey senses are telling me you have [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/blokes-sitting-down-to-pee?replies=40#post-1664401 ]not read the thread[/url], such was your haste to post that joke 8)

whn i'm doo dunk i chit dowwwn

i have just returned from my 1st ever (memory may fail me) sitty down pee.
it was quite liberating............i told the wife and she is pi55ing herself with laughter............. 😆

i told the wife and she is pi55ing herself with laughter.............

I hope she was standing up to keep the balance of things in order.

And Stoner's hoping ton will post pics 🙂

I often have the urge to do 1 & 2 together. Sitting is then preferred.

Take care not to let wee spray up through the gap between the seat and the bowl.

I get the problem of spray in high winds and in urinals.

Funny thing about high winds is if you stand up wind to your a**hole brother he gets a nasty suprise 😈 😆

Anyone else find the "closet queer" tag a bit primary school and possibly a little homophobic? 😕

Anyone else find the "closet queer" tag a bit primary school and possibly a little homophobic?

Now I know you're not Graham, but I have to ask.

Are you new here? Because there is no other excuse for not being aware that the [i]humour[/i] on STW can sometimes bump along the floor along with the dragging knuckles. 8)

Maybe they had a Prince Albert (and not one Dialled Mikes)...

You'd be grateful they sat down rather than next yers I should think!

Yeah I know. Just not a big fan of the word "queer" as an accusation.

Please continue the micturition-based mirth.

Please continue the micturition-based mirth.

There's mirth?

As a youthful sailor I hadn't been introduced to the necesity of sitting to piss and was reduced from a standing waz to flat on my back by a massive wave. Sadly when I start to piss there is no stopping - very uncomfortable feeling being stuck flat on your back watching your old man hose you down and not being able to do anything about it whilst knowing you'll have to go back on deck and converse with the rest of the crew you hardly know with a foot wide piss puddle on your stomach.

We bought the wife a She wee so she can join in our "pissing the fag butt to the drain" game in piss troughs on Manchester neets oot....

Just not a big fan of the word "queer" as an accusation.

[url= ]And yet some people are very happy to call themselves queer[/url]

i think we are all a bit queer on here............... 😉

when your pissed, its easyer to sit than stand

@ton: Seconded! 🙂

if you pee sitting down you dont empty your bladder completely

oink - Please provide evidence. i'm intrigued!

I have to sit down...if I don't then the reading material obscures my view and I don't even know if I'm in the toilet...

My guess is the closet queer tag is not being pejorative about queers - but about being in the closet.

Surely only people who are worried about their sexuality have to make such a show of their machismo? Closet queers in fact.

you ever taken a piss in bare feet, or in shorts? or left a newspaper on the ground next to the loo? Then you'd have noticed that even if you're pissing directly into the bowl, there's quite a bit of teeny tiny droplets/spray flying back up; over your legs, on to your feet and all over the floor... gross!

Yup, if you're smart enough to aim it properly this doesn't happen. If you pee directly down into the water of course it splashes and makes a noise. You need to learn to use the no slip condition of fluid mechanics, this prevents unwanted splashback and means you don't have to sit shoving your bits downwards under the rim and risk peeing out the gap between the two. Christ, I learned this aged about 10. However it does change from loo to loo, so careful impact angle assessment is key and requires the light on for the first few runs!

I prefer standing up because the feeling of cod toilet water on my b£llend isn't a nice feeling 😉

A bigger question is whether you sit down or stand up to 'wipe' after a solid...

Surely if you stand up, it squishes your bum cheeks together and spreads any residual poo over a wide area. Not based on experience, mind ...

There was a decent top tip in Viz years ago which some of you might find useful:

To aid finding the toilet bowl in the dark, string a piece of dental floss between the bathroom doorknob and the toilet seat. When the time comes, simply straddle the length of dental floss whilst facing the door, and edge backwards, running the dental floss between your cheeks until your scrotum hits the toilet seat.

Yep, that's what I do. Makes the dental floss taste a bit salty though.

DrJ - Member

A bigger question is whether you sit down or stand up to 'wipe' after a solid...

Surely if you stand up, it squishes your bum cheeks together and spreads any residual poo over a wide area.

Not if you "squat" off the seat. Good for the thigh muscles, too. Added benefit!!

Makes the dental floss taste a bit salty though.

Same with liquorice - some people like sweet, some like salty.

>if you pee sitting down you dont empty your bladder completely

*That* explains why my OH has to go for a piddle so many times before we can get out of the house !

FWIW - I often sit down to pee if at home (where the loo seat's nice n clean) - just a bit more relaxing, and I'm guaranted not have to do the occasional oo-bugger-I've-missed-a-bit wipe-up 🙂

Not if you "squat" off the seat.

Squatting seems nmore effective in emptying your bowels, also.

Sorry for the information overload ...

only ever if it's the first piss of the morning and I'm still pissed/badly hungover and can't see or stand up properly.
Or I want to annoy Mrs B by pretending to take a dump while she's in the bath!

The trouble with standing, apart from the obvious splashback and inability to read, is that it makes wiping ol' one eye with a bit of loo paper into a rather complicated task.

sitting down to pee makes sense when you think about it
If you have an iPod Touch or other similar internet-enabled device you can use the going for a pee time productively to look at on-line shoe shops and the latest celebrity gossip

..which is just the sort of thing people who sit dpwn to pee are interested in

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee???? 😯

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee????

GrahamS, you wipe after a stand up wee????

No, I sit down to avoid forgoing my wipe and the subsequent risk of collateral precipitate from the post-micturition shake or the ignominy of the dreaded "wet penny".