[Closed] Becoming a Dad - any tips?

You like cycling at night, right?

Firstly, congratulations and good luck!
Secondly, it's awesome! Don't be put off by naysayers, you'll find time to ride.

Unless of course, you think that riding is more important than your impending child, in which case, erm....

Best tips?
a) don't take any advice from anyone. It will be conficting and confusing. Trust your own judgement.

b) 10 minute rule. When your baby screams as it inevitably will, put him/her down in his/her cot, walk away and have 10 minutes. He/she is more resilient than you think. The chances of you breaking are far greater than him/her. If after 10 minutes they are still screaming, give them a hug/cuddle and don't feel you can't repeat the process again if you need it.

Good luck. Best times ever.

Rich.

Yeah it's awesome. Hardest job you'll ever do, but it all comes naturally.

Look after the mum. She's done all the work 🙂

Congratulations

I only started riding when my son was born. We thought it would be easier to fit the odd hour ride in rather than the 4-5 two hour gym workouts a week I'd been doing. Plus we'd save on gym fees.

11 years, 100 miles a week, 8-9 bikes and frames later..... 🙄

Though I only started commuting by bike when I realised I was so sleep deprived I couldn't remember the drive to work....

Do lots of the following now before you have no time left, ride bikes, sleep and drink large quantities of beer. That's basically from now until baby is about 3 months.

It's great by the way.

Oh, and buy all the stuff you need from NCT sales, it'll save you a fortune.

It's awesome.

One didn't effect my riding I got our when she was at nursery. The second has as one was a nursery the other preschool, I know find little time to fit it in but that's partly because I work weekends when the Mrs is off and off during the week so have to do school runs.

Once the baby gets there its all about routine

Eat poo sleep

Takes a while for you to get it dialled and illness can reset it and once you get it dont break it, even if you want a night where you all stay up late etc

Oh and you need a similar routine to look after yourself !

Overated,7 billion people on earth.

Its OK. If wastral-like chavs can do it, doing it abit better ain't that hard. Just chill.

The fun bit comes when he hides the remote to preserve his programme choice, smacks you in the nuts for fun and can lie perfectly all at 4.5yrs.

Your about 3 months too late for my advice, good luck and get yourself some good lights.

Overated,7 billion people on earth.

And there's still room for people who make such inane comments. Pretty cool, huh?

Congratulations firstly, secondly life gets better once they've left home 😆
Seriously you will find your own way of being a Dad, it will come naturally, children are great....I'm now a grandad too and grandkids are even better as they get taken home after a while 😆

Buy a cow, we constantly run out of milk.
As above night riding becomes normal, my neighbours think I'm mad though.

It is at the same time the most amazing thing ever and the hardest, most frustrating, relentlessly exhausting thing I've ever endured. Having said that, now we have two, having one would be so easy 🙂

Tips for keeping your riding ticking over during the worst of it... get a turbo.

got more kids than most, have always ridden bikes more than most. hope that helps.

no advice for a noob other than try to enjoy the whole experience.. it is for the rest of your life afterall.

Congratulations!!
Decent lights, get a road bike and ride to work.
Get some nice comfy slippers to walk around the house.. you'll spend alot of time doing this quite often at 3.48am.
You'll learn how to deal with sleep deprivation after about 12 months.
It will also test your levels of patience and will to/and/or past breaking.
There will be tears of joy, frustration and exhaustion.

*We Have 3 girls 2,4,6 yo.

My first is four months. It has been a whirlwind but I've still got some decent mileage in (mostly commuting). If you really like riding you'll find time.

I traded walks in the pram for bike time, worked well. As above support the Mrs and it will be fine. It is also like Christmas every single morning.

DO NOT GET A TURBO!

Congratulations mate. Sat on the settee with my wife and our beautiful 11 day old daughter. Best thing that has happened to me.
This is the first contact I have had with a newborn and I was worried how I would cope, but the majority of the thing are either common sense or come naturally.

-Support the missus throughout the pregnancy, is obviously key... but you also need some support too (its very easy for it be ALL about the missus).
-Read up on pregnancy related things. My wife is quite neurotic and had a few panicked moments when she thought there was something wrong with baby. It helped if I could understand where she was coming from and calm her down.
-When baby is due make sure you have plenty of snacks and energy drinks in your hospital bag. Make sure you prompt you partner to eat and drink whilst in early labor, she will need alot of energy.
-When baby is here and you have visitors coming left right and centre, you will feel that you will have no time with your child yourself and all you do is tidy and make drinks. Grab all the chances you can to bond with your child before you have to return to work.
-Get as much information and advice as you can. Then keep an open mind, go with flow and see what works for your family.

Enjoy mate.

Tommy Tippie Perfect Prep machine, worth it's weight in gold.

You're gonna take some shit when Jr is tiny - just take it.

For the first few days you might need to act as Baby/Mums driver/bodyguard/lawyer/agent. If you have issues with your OH decisions about baby you keep them between you and Her - everyone else you sing from the hymm sheet breastfeeding can be impossible / difficult for example and midwives can be proper arseholes about it - if the decision gets made to go bottle you might have to upset a few people - sod 'em.

Same goes with relatives and well-wishers, some will be on the doorstep 30 seconds after you get Jnr home - whist you're thinking you'll never feel calm again they're "just popping in" you can tell them to foxtrot too.

Everything else just go with the flow - doctors are generally okay with you calling in for any "little thing" which is go - but they can be dismissive too - ours is intolerant to diary which meant a grumpy baby and no sleep honestly she didn't sleep for more than 3 hours on the bounce, ususlly 2 FOR FIVE MONTHS! Doctor just kept saying "well babies do cry".

It's great though, make the most of the summer though 😉

Thought I would seek out the wisdom of the crowd. Any tips?

Most important of all, make sure your kid knows you love them and that you think they're brilliant.

After that, just wing it - that's what the rest of us do.

I'm riding my son to school and back tomorrow.

It's awesome just becuase I can do just that.

All tips are equally valid and invalid . mine is second hand clothes and hand me downs are perfect we have not bought new clothes for our son in 3 1/2 years .
When he was born my mate sent me a text saying "the fun starts here" at the time I thought it was a bit twee but he was right .
Congratulations support your partner be tollerent of each other and everything will be better than alright.

MTB action for me has certainly slid but crankbrat joins me on my commute to work on his balance bike and is now demanding to take his bike to the woods .( I drop him at nursery)

Yep keep breeding flashheart.

Congratulations! Kids are bloody awesome!

They can also totally stuff your existing routine. So be prepared to change it.

Lights for bike is worthwhile expense and do it now while you have money still!!!

My riding dropped off for a while but in hindsight I could have been more disciplined and organised and done more when number 1 was brand new. 2nd one was easier as I was back into regular night riding.

Get a bike trailer with a baby sling and ignore the recommended earliest age for things, just use instinct and remember it's a person like you. If you're cold they're prob cold, get them eating solid food as early as possible as they start becoming a wee person once they do and sleep better.

Ive reduced work to part time to see my 10 month old as much as I can

Definitely agree on the breastfeeding issue. It is yours, your partners and your babies decision... no one else.
Wife wanted to breastfeed, we had trouble feeding in hospital with baby not latching properly. The midwifes were adamant we carry on trying with breastfeeding.
Got home after 48hrs of no sleep, screaming newborn that would not latch and feed properly. For the wife's sanity we went for formula, 10 minutes later baby was sound asleep.
Either breast or formula is fine, as long as baby is being fed something.

Enjoy every lie in you can get before baby comes.

1. It's awesome
2. Keep your sense of humour
3. Adli "mamia" range of nappies and wipes is great and cheap
4. Don't buy fancy clothes, they grow REALLY quick
5. Uppababy vista is the best pushcotchair thingy
6. Enjoy. Did I say that they grow REALLY quick?

Definitely agree on the breastfeeding issue. It is yours, your partners and your babies decision... no one else.

I'm riding my son to school and back tomorrow.

Piggy back or on the shoulders?

Some light reading if you missed it the first time round: http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/i-feel-nothing-towards-my-baby

Coming up for 5 weeks in. Haven't ridden my bike since. Still waiting for it to feel like anything but a bit of an annoying chore to be honest.

🙂 He's six, and rides his own bike.

Three months in?

Shit I can't even remember when I was three months in......

This is the single most important bit of advice that you will get: Make sure that you make time for you and your wife to do the things that you enjoyed before kids.

Welcome to road riding!

Just play it all by ear, like any normal person.

There's some other good advice but a couple of things I would add

1- do not be afraid to tell people that now is time to leave / to come at a different time. You should be in control
2- baby raising books are potentially dangerous. They often give conflicting advice and have you aspire to levels of perfection that are not realistic.
3- never be afraid to ask questions or seek help or support. Ultimately you have to be the parent but that doesn't mean that you have to do it alone.
4- get stuck in and enjoy it.

This is the single most important bit of advice that you will get: Make sure that you make time for you and your wife to do the things that you enjoyed before kids.

That's how you end up with more kids.

Sorry and another...
2nd time round we dropped the odd formula feed in (close to midnight normally) which I usually did. This gave mrs a longer period of unbroken sleep and meant that we could easily slip an extra bottle in if she was tired or I took him or on my own in the day to give her a break.

I think we started this after a couple of month's. The first was exclusively bf and we had a mare getting him to have formula at a later stage.

Babies are NOT interactive so don't expect too get much out of it start with.
But when they run to greet you home from work, later in life though, best feeling in the world.

Nappy contents can be ANY colour.

Invent your own bed time stories based around the same characters every night , they will still remember this all their lives.

Walking (with a crying baby in your arms) in circles, under a dimmed ceiling light, tires their eyes out and the rest usually follows.

You will get peed on, accept that truth now

Don't lock them away in a room on their own, (look a how apes do it- always carrying their young everywhere) Babies are sociable and like voices and contact.

Work hard to make "Daddy" their first word - Minor victory

Accept knitted gifts/stuff gracefully, though we never did find a use for any of it.

Build shelves everywhere and get everything out of reach. "Did she just swallow that" maybe one of the worst sentences I have ever heard.

Don't ever let junk food become a treat - My biggest failing

All the technicalities are dead easy. Everything you'll probably be nervous about like nappy changing, feeding, being up all night. Nothing to it at all. After a few months you can do all that nonsense without even thinking about it.

The hard stuff is being a good parent. The benefit of kids is they'll get you to recognise your own failings and often copy you to show you what a terrible human being you are. Learn from them, Become better.

Ignore all the other parents. They'll tell you their kid spoke at this age and walked at this age. Ignore them. They all catch up.

Someone said keep your sense of humour. Nothing truer than this. Otherwise you'll break down.

Reflections on a year of fatherhood:

the cliches are true - you love them more and more each day

mums need more support than they ask for - so give it without asking

the birth is ACE - don't listen to retards saying it's like watching your fave pub burn down. think more along the lines of realising you've found a new function on your swiss army knife.

The birth is both boring, scary and eye poppingly weird . but overall, ACE.

take every second of paternity leave you can and then some - my biggest regret from last time round was not taking enough time with the family. WORK CAN WAIT.

you will recoil from baby poo like it's molten lava initially. then you won't.

don't buy everything you need - you will almost certainly get it bought for you.

but DO get the essentials.

Invest in a good buggy.

invest in amazon prime - cheap nappies & wipes, on your doorstep tomorrow. you'll also get another source of online TV when you/baby can't sleep.

don't give into the breast is best bullies. if your missus finds she can do it, great, but don't let the ****ers demonise her if it doesn't. do whats right/best for you.

keep a very close eye on your missus for post natal depression. it's nasty, and it's common.

I can honestly say it's been the best thing that ever happened to me, and in the days after my daughter was born I was genuinely worried that I wouldn't be able to think/talk about her without tearing up. This passes! But now, at a year old, I can have the worst day ever, and it's all put right by a smile from my little girl.

Enjoy it!

^jimbobrighton

Did you have your own gas and air line??
ACE??

Blood, shit, goo and other holy mother of wtf is that!!.. maybe.
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Holding the baby still attached to umbilical is the ace bit..
Watching its undignified exit from the womb is not.

yeah ACE. honestly, I found it amazing. As a publican I see my fair share of blood, piss, shit, vomit and goo, so maybe I'm more desensitized than most.

loved it!