[Closed] Another neighbour problem - potentially spiralling into confrontation. Help!

I like super loud sex parties where we watch telly and listen to music.

never play music? have the telly on?

yes, I have been round next door to judge the impact of my hifi on next door and the volume levels I should stick to.

Not a big issue though as my hifi is oriented towards not needed big levels of volume to sound good - amps are 140W but speakers are 25W max 🙂

Plus the noise it makes is not an annoying, incredibly wimpy sound like next doors kids, and it doesn't repeat the same section over-and-over again because that's the only bit it knows, like the kids do when they are practicing the guitar...

Pook your poor neighbours will need to get used to your child waking them up though and you threatening them through the wall rather than the sound of your energetic lovemaking

Our next door neighbours child has virtually cried every day since being born 10 months ago.
Hubby now has drum kit - sorted.

Seriously. Go round and have a nice word, then buy some ear plugs.

Which wall is your headboard against?

I bet the kids cot/bed is against the party wall as well.

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Ooooooooh, I can see it from both sides. Unfortunately when people have kids, and I include myself with this, they become the centre of their world to the exclusion of everything else around them.

My last house had little soundproofing, next door had a screaming baby whose room was the other side of my bedroom wall. I felt as though the darn thing was in the room with me! Not forgetting I could hear the parents having sex, talking, walking up the stairs, opening and closing doors.

It's downright miserable!

Seriously, you need to calmly speak to them about it. The onus is on THEM to deal with it, even if that means moving child to a different bedroom. You shouldn't have to put up with it.

When i started reading this it was at 2 pages, now i reply on the end when of page 3.

I say keep banging. Escalate the frequency and force of the banging, maybe insult your neighbours wife and or children........

........Then post up the video of the ensuing response from your neighbour.

Or buy ear plugs. Self centered childless fool.

It's another them and us thread.

People are so aggressive in defense of their tribe. Chill out suckers. Have some Joe Rogan in your life.

NSFW or pesky kids.

killwillforchips - Member
Self centered childless fool

I like super loud sex parties where we watch telly and listen to music.

I have kids i would try not to inflict this on my neighbours but some of it may be unavoidable

Would i think them an arse for being annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night by little precious
No

the seeds of your loins may be the centre of your world but they are not the centre of the neighbours who want a nice nights sleep - which is hardly an unreasonable expectation in a residential area

To much one side support here and just no middle ground - all very STW if hardly sensible

Oh C'mon bobbly. There's still your opinion to be heard. 😉

I've just been signed off work with stress due to our delightful new(ish) neighbour.

that sounds like a good story weare138, why are your neighbours causing you stress? start a new thread so we can all critcise you.

As others have said...
Apologise for knocking on wall and explain how the noise is affecting you.
Ask if they can swap rooms about, if not then maybe you'll have to if it's possible.
If none are an option try sound proofing the wall maybe?

As a side note has anyone sound proofed a party wall? Any advise on how to go about it, dense mineral wall or something else?

Surely the onus on soundproofing should fall to the ones making the bloody noise in the first place?

If grannies_ring approach fails I'd be inclined to make some noise too. Sod em and their bloody spawn 🙂

Make sure you write everything down - keep a log of when it happens and for how long. You'll be able to see if it's [i]every night[/i] and we'll all be able to judge if you're being unreasonable or not.
I recommend a shared Google spread sheet so we can all see when it's been updated without you needing to update a link here. Create a blog. Hell, à la Chrome advert, you could create a whole Google Site with an array of linked YouTube videos of sound clips and confrontations. I wish I had neighbours like yours such that I could make the most of this wonderful web 2.0 opportunity, which this most definitely is.

sound proofing? build a frame of 3x2 to cover the wall in question. glue carpet tiles to wall at 400 centres. glue frame to carpet tiles. fill frame with dense mineral wool, not loft insulation Green stuff, can't remember what its called. double layer of plaster board. don't put fixings into the wall, the idea is to isolate the offending wall, and sound travels really well thru the fixings

A lot of people here seem to think that having kids means you can just waive any consideration for anything or anybody else. I get that kids are noisy and you can't just switch it on and off, and also that the parents in this case are likely to be stressed out of their minds. Also a good neighbour cuts some slack.

But ultimately, other people's kids are their problem, not their neighbours'. Any inconvenience like moving rooms is squarely on the parents, not the neighbours.
Personally, the odd night I wouldn't be too bothered- just one of those things you have to put up with when you have neighbours. If it's going on and on the parents need to at least give the impression they're aware it's a problem for others and look like they're trying to do something about it.

Cheers spchantler, I was thinking that screwing fixings into the wall wouldn't work so that makes sense. Rockwall used to make varying densities of sound proofing slabs in various thicknesses. Just not sure what would be sufficient for this application.

where's Derek gone?

did he go around for a chat?

He's got indigestion from wierd soup.....

I've just been signed off work with stress due to our delightful new(ish) neighbour.

So you can spend more time at home with your neighbour? Genius. 😆

[i]He's got indigestion from wierd soup..... [/i]

I reckon it was a child's spleen. Would explain all the shouting.

Or buy ear plugs. Self centered childless fool.

Why is someone who is childless self centred?

Bunny hop; childless folk aren't selfish naturally. However it is the finding of the great KWFC that the OP is guilty as charged of crimes against those with children and is thus sentenced to a right royal beat down as dispenced by the OP's neighbour.

I survived the soup.

I am not going to apologise for banging on the wall. It was an involuntary act borne out of continued frustration ans broken sleep. It's even worse on a Sunday night / Monday morning.

I will refrain from banging again as it us futile, intrusive and aggressive.

They know I'm cheesed off and if they're any calibre of folk they'll do something to end this.

well if he's the sort of neanderthal who threatens violence I wouldn't be too sure he is the slightest bit concerned about your bangs, coz if you go round to complain he could just thump you and you'll never likely to go round or thump on the wall again.

TBH the kid should be taken to a pediatrician if it's a chronic problem and no, ignoring night terrors is not actually what you are meant to do. What you are meant to do, is predict when they are going to happen and wake the kid up before they start freaking out.

So the parents are not doing their jobs properly.

Whilst they are subjecting you to their controlled crying experiment can they not re house the child downstairs?
If they put the small child in the other corner of the house then you probably wouldnt hear it anywhere near as much .
Then they could spend hours and hours listening to their little bundle of joy screaming and screaming .
Or keep banging on the wall with a toffee hammer , then when matey looses it open your front door with a Go Pro attatched to your head so we can see the ensueing action on Youtube.
I think you get a cash reward for 5000 'hits'

The reactions we have on here - childless folk ar selfish, the kid is mental etc

its a real smorgasboard of OTT reaction today - guess no one likes Monday's

Also, if he's so quick to threaten physical violence I'd question whether the night terrors are caused by abuse.

Basically if it's chronic, then it's definitely a case that needs referring to a pediatrician/psych regardless of whether the father is a loafish violent drunk etc.

I struggle with long sentences, but controlled crying isn't just ignoring the kid. That would be ignored crying.

You're supposed to let them know that you're still there and you care, but you're not going to come back and cuddle and give a load of attention.

the onus is on your neighbor, he threatened you with violence, if he had anything at all about him, he would have come around next day and apologised... there's a fair chance they are next to useless and completely devoid on any consideration or common sense.

good luck

Bang on the wall, go round and let him throw the first punch - from then on it's self defense...

Of course the onus is on the neighbor to sort it out, but if he's not willing to listen then the OP is banging his head against a brick wall, so to speak 🙂
I would however try and speak to them in a calm manner again and see if they are prepared to do something then you'll know what to do next.
Sleep in another room, sound proof or move house if it gets too much.

I am not going to apologise for banging on the wall. It was an involuntary act borne out of continued frustration ans broken sleep. It's even worse on a Sunday night / Monday morning.

I will refrain from banging again as it us futile, intrusive and aggressive.

They know I'm cheesed off and if they're any calibre of folk they'll do something to end this.

You don't have to [i]mean it[/i] when you apologise. But it would be a good way of getting them to see your point of view. You may find they are selfish bastards who've given no thought to your quality of life. You might find they've spend years trying to soundproof their child with no success. The truth is somewhere between the two.

As you have seen, agressive actions tend to be returned in kind. They'll be seeing you as the mentalist next door neighbour who bangs on the wall at 2.30am. Why would they move their house around for that asshole? They need to see you as nice Fred from no.36, who's got a responsible job and needs his beauty sleep 🙂 They might genuinely not give a shit about anyone else, but most people have a bit of time for Fred...

You need to contact your local council and get the 'Noise control' team involved.

You should not have to endure other peoples children's noise, they are not your responsibility.

Contact your council.

Richpenny +1 learn how to disarm and Influence someones behaviour.

Or maybe have children and/or understand what neighbours sometimes quietly put up with.

Noise team? Are you taking the mick? I contacted them once over an abusive/anti social neighbour who came at me with a golf club.

You need to contact your local council and get the 'Noise control' team involved.

A crying child is unlikely to be considered a statutory nuisance

The house next doors to us is cursed...

1st family...when the kids were meant to be at secondary school they preferred to bunk off and and play drum & bass, smoking weed etc all day with their mates round. Their mother was at work, dad out on the pi55 all day. However,the parents divorced family moved away.

2nd family...I introduced myself about 2 weeks after they moved in one Sunday evening around 10.30pm when they decided it was time to start drilling some holes in the wall to put some shelves up. Generally noisy people, I would bang on the wall any time past 22.30 shouting to shut up, they moved away last year.

New idiots next door have baby gates fixed the top and bottom of the stairs, the wretched gates are the first thing i hear before my alarm goes off at 6.20am and the last thing before I drift off to sleep. (Their kid is about 3, so are the things really needed?) The mother also keeps talking to the kid loudly saying 'Wow look at that' and 'Wooooo' and telling the kid what a big plop she has done etc, (their bathroom is located next to my bedroom). I've even moved furniture to block the noise out.

I think the simplest way is to speak to them, explain the walls are thin so you may not realise HOW MUCH NOISE YOU ARE MAKING...aaarrghh

What would you do if your neighbour was a 6ft nutter, covered in tattoo's who liked loud music?

Bet you wouldn't bang on the wall.

View it as training / preparation for the day you might have kids.

hora - Member
What would you do if your neighbour was a 6ft nutter, covered in tattoo's who liked loud music?

Bet you wouldn't bang on the wall.

The bigger they are the harder they fall......

...onto you WWF-stylee! 😆

richpenny has right solution

you're the aggressor at the moment..

What would you do if your neighbour was a 6ft nutter, covered in tattoo's who liked loud music?

Bet you wouldn't bang on the wall.

Really what's the point of this post? Is it a dig at the OP's masculinity? Think you're hard? It's perfectly reasonable that the OP got irritated and banged on the wall, it's a normal thing to happen in flat. What isn't normal is threatening violence.

Size isn't all that, my 5'10" brother and a friend of his hospitalized half a dozen 6'3" rugby players.

It's all about how much you don't care about your own personal safety, how tolerant you are to punches and your ability to carry on fighting when getting punched... and how quickly you respond to aggression, basically is the OP a psychopath? In my brothers words..."if they're bigger than me I bottle them".

Don't go picking on small guys just because you think your big and 'ard. It's a recipe for disaster - in fact never go looking for a fight. Others on here shouldn't encourage him to go round to the next door neighbors because the man might be a grade A loon - but if he does come round to the OP's doorstep....by all means take him by surprise and sucker punch him with a cricket bat.

richpenny has right solution

you're the aggressor at the moment..

Nahhh, the parent's don't sound like they're dealing with it properly.

It's perfectly reasonable that the OP got irritated and banged on the wall, it's a normal thing to happen in flat. What isn't normal is threatening violence.

don't agree.. I'm 40 years old and have lived always lived in flats..
it's perfectly reasonable in the first instance to approach your neighbour and discuss the issue in a helpful and neighbourly manner..

banging on the wall shows that you have lost your rag

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whether the parents are dealing with it correctly IYO or not is immaterial.. the point is that he banged on the wall and is the aggressor, what matey shouted after that point is just retaliation..

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Nahhh, the parent's don't sound like they're dealing with it properly.

What does the OP know of their techniques?

Bwaarp
Hospitalised? Your brother runs a dirty takeaway?