Adoption
 

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[Closed] Adoption

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Me and the wife have started the ball rolling with the adoption process a few months ago. Any one here have any experience of the whole process?
At the moment it seems very daunting and like we are guilty untill proved innocent in the whole thing. We have been together for 15 years and both have jobs and strong family support and a great bunch of friends so hopefully we have nothing to worry about.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 5:25 am
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No experiance but Good luck, I hope it goes well for both of you, 8)


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 8:21 am
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Good luck.
From that description of your current status you can adopt me if you like - house trained, can cook, clean and fix bikes. 😀


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 8:30 am
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We did it eight years ago, far and away one of the best decisions we ever made. e-mail in profile, if you want to discuss it. Cheers, Mitch.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 9:12 am
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Tempted to swap rodgerthecat for the wife now. Thanks for the support guys, hopefully it will end well. Barnsley Mitch ill email you later if thats ok


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 9:52 am
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Just been through the same process over the last two years. It was only finalised by the courts a few weeks ago and still waiting for the paper work. Just seemed a lot of reports and setbacks (social worker off long term sick, lost paperwork etc). Would I do it again without a second thought my family is complete and my daughter is over the moon...


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 10:23 am
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Couple of friends have just gone through it.. Both teachers.. Took bloody years of ridiculous faffing about.

What amazes me is that any old scrote can go get pregnant yet to adopt, the social services make you jump through hoops FOR YEARS!


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 10:30 am
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Good luck with it.
Chances are my life would very different if I hand't been adopted.
But it has left me with an unknown.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 11:15 am
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What amazes me is that any old scrote can go get pregnant yet to adopt, the social services make you jump through hoops FOR YEARS!

[rant] Mrs Cat is a community midwife and some of the parents that get to keep their kids after drug abuse, violence, etc is somewhat bewildering. Then, the ones who have one or two kids removed just go and pop out another one and Social Services leave it with them. I am sure I am oversimplifying but surely we should be securing the welfare of the kid not the dippy parents [/rant]


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 11:20 am
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why not have a look at the success* of kids put into care and then relais e why, even when they are shit, the actual parents are still better thna the state

Exam rates
Suicide rates
Prison rates
etc

I am not saying you dont have a point but trust me care homes are shit and no place for a child to be brought up.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 11:23 am
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I've not adopted myself but my Mum adopted 3 young kids a few years back - having done fostering & respite care for many years (including for those kids practically since they were born). The whole process was pretty dragged out (especially as my Mum is somewhat older than your typical adoptive parent) but it all worked out ok in the end. The social workers were a lot more of a problem than the legal folks and it was the judge who applied common sense in the end and made it happen.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 11:44 am
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Think we are the first group of the new government speeded up process but after 6 weeks we havent heard a thing back off them so far.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 5:44 pm
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Same situation, our 5 prep group sessions start next month.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 5:47 pm
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No experience at all, but I wish you every possible success! 'Tis a great thing that you're doing.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 5:52 pm
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Good man. Well done.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 5:57 pm
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@epicsteve - quite, and the very reason adopting needs to be quicker and simpler, so there is far less need to rely on such institutions.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 8:44 pm
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Would I do it again without a second thought my family is complete and my daughter is over the moon...

I love this place, that's all


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 9:40 pm
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Reality check,I have 2 adopted chidren (11 and 6 been with us 4 years) I love them to bits, they love us to bits and I wouldn't change a thing for the world, but......most children up for adoption come from damaged backgrounds in one way or another, these damages can manifest themselves in many different ways, so although most times are fantastic some can be wery challenging......

......as said above by another adopter if you want to discuss anything about any stage of the process or other issues email me.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 10:03 pm
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Good on you. I was adopted as a baby and am so grateful for the amazing family I have.
Hope you clear the final hurdles soon and all goes to plan for you.
Hope you and your wean/s have as rich and happy lives with you as Ive had with mine.
Hard going but I have a lot of respect and admiration for you for doing what you're doing, whatever your motivation/reasons for doing so.
Good on you. Feel its worth saying again!


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 10:12 pm
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I've not adopted myself

Pretty sure that you are not allowed to adopt yourself anyway, likely to be rules and stuff.

Nothing to add to the adoption bit but wholeheartedly agree about the care home comments. Worked in them for years and although they will always be necessary, there are not may success stories coming out of them.

Good on you though, hope it works out well.


 
Posted : 10/06/2012 10:41 pm
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Can I ask the all the adopters what authorities you want through, whether local or national?

We applied last year with our local authority and all went smoothly, but they put us on hold for six months as I was coming off AD's at the time and they wanted to see how I reacted off them. Coming off them went fine and I called them last week to continue, but sadly for us (although good for the kids) my local authority is now full for carers.

We have now been in contact with Barnado's and we are attending and open evening with them soon but it looks like we have to start the process all over again.

Have any of you had experience with either?


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 9:34 am
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The ones we are going through is a local one.


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 5:38 pm
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We went thru stoke, live in stafford who like you are fully covered, but stoke only a few miles away are crying out for prospective adopters


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 5:42 pm
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I don't have any direct experience, but my Aunt and Uncle have fostered kids for 30 odd years...when we went up to visit as kids there was often a new 'cousin' who they were currently fostering.

They ended up formally adopting one foster child...she was with them for years as a child and when she was about 18/19 she asked my Aunt/Uncle to adopt her.


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 5:48 pm
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Good for you, top respect

I know a couple going through the process, 17 months in so far and still going the hoops

Good luck


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 5:55 pm
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good luck with it. i have a lot of respect for you doing this


 
Posted : 11/06/2012 6:04 pm