Paying off your mortgage early is hardly a "life less ordinary". Well, maybe it is unusual, but you know what i mean.
[quote=finbar ]Paying off your mortgage early is hardly a "life less ordinary". Well, maybe it is unusual, but you know what i mean.
It's more what that then enables. Too many folk are channelled into increasing debt, which becomes a stress and a burden.
I know, i just thought it was a funny juxtaposition with the original thread title.
I'd like a bike built from unobtanium 🙂
What did you want to be/do when younger?
Spider-man
i was close to it as well because I could, as a teenager, make white sticky stuff fly across the room with a quick flick of the wrist.
finbar - Member
Paying off your mortgage early is hardly a "life less ordinary". Well, maybe it is unusual, but you know what i mean.
Eh? Of course it's a major thing, it enables you to change your approach, cut back on work a bit, spend more time with the family/people you love, use the cash you would have spent on it for charity, travelling, expanding your experiences.
Pudd - any hint to how we know each other? FWIW I ride 3-4 times a week and entertain the odd kettlebell session but know from my past endeavours that dedicating myself to exercise isn't the answer. Neither is the mortgage thing (albeit a major achievement). If you know me that well you'll know the Arts are not likely to be entertained.
No, I'm really searching for what the thread title hints at, a legacy perhaps the isn't classed in the realm of ordinary, not even self effacing. I want it to be of the scale that other people say "he did that", without resulting to self flagellation. Of course I may be reaching for the stars there in terms of the scale of the achievement but hey....
"have a burning desire to be or achieve something "different" yet not know what that thing actually is?"
Shhhh .... I don't want your nice thread to descend into a normal STW theological mudslinging fest.
“Ask, and it shall be given to you; search, and you shall find; knock and the door will be open to you.”
Sorry that’s a biblical text and as such I sound like a God botherer
I did try and explain this via my own story which is completely normal and probably not unlike your own, but it was far more long winded.
Suffice to say, your feelings are ones that I have known …. I now have or am working to have peace with them
In fact I’ve never felt more at peace, chilled out, empowered and free… that’s not to say I know it all… far from it…. But it’s interesting this life or maybe this “inner life” …. the burning desire
Right.... It's friday can we now get back to taking the p155 out of people, their wheels and brickies please 😀
Pretty much everyone in developed countries feels like this to some extent IMO. It's because we are constantly bombarded with advertising specifically designed to make us unsatisfied with our present lot and always wanting something more.
I was chatting to a guy from Ghana the other day who lives over here and he said it's noticeable how comparatively unhappy people are over here, despite having on the whole great living conditions etc. He puts it down to excessive advertising/materialism, and I think he has a point.
a legacy perhaps the isn't classed in the realm of ordinary, not even self effacing. I want it to be of the scale that other people say "he did that", without resulting to self flagellation.
How about some [url= http://www.beacouncillor.org.uk/default.htm ]civic duty[/url]?
Kinda sums it up.....
All I really aspire for is a bit more time to do everything I try to cram in my life.
Beautiful wife, 2 thoroughly barking mad sons, house in a nice town, several bikes, supportive extended family, large circle of friends, career I enjoy for a company I like working for.
Sorted, I'd say.
Yes, a newer car would be nice, as would a house with bigger kitchen and a bigger garage. To have several months of paid/affordable annual leave would be good to allow more time for holidays/travel/exploration but if you're going down that route, how about a cure for cancer and World Peace.
ze grass is always greener on ze ozzer side.
Eh? Of course it's a major thing, it enables you to change your approach, cut back on work a bit, spend more time with the family/people you love, use the cash you would have spent on it for charity, travelling, expanding your experiences.
Well, yeah, but i don't have a mortgage so i can do all that stuff anyway. The joys of renting 😀
But then you'll [i]always[/i] be renting whereas those with a mortgage will, at some point, have paid it off. 8)
...and in theory finbar, our houses we've invested in will be worth more than the cash you've saved over the same period. I did say "in theory"...
Ennui?
Existential angst?
If your'e a student (Solo if not the OP) you should be all over this melancholy navel gazing. Because the ladeez love it.
Because the ladeez love it.
They do? I haven't had any approaches...?
But then you'll always be renting whereas those with a mortgage will, at some point, have paid it off.
...and in theory finbar, our houses we've invested in will be worth more than the cash you've saved over the same period. I did say "in theory"...
That's all a bit... ordinary though. This way i can up sticks whenever i want (or at least until i [s]feel the need[/s] get the opportunity to get all normative and settle down).
Don't doubt the dream. Everyone has a dream, as you get older you start to doubt that dream, then you live a life, sometimes good, sometimes bad, but it feels...not quite right.
lazybike - Member
Don't doubt the dream. Everyone has a dream
I don't, thats half the problem...
You do, just not clear to you yet...If you won 10m would you live your life differently, not just buying stuff, but differently...
In a similar condition at the mo.
38, great partner, lovely house, nice car, nice bikes, job which I'm good at, no debts (bar the mortgage which we're overpaying massively). Yet I'm constantly on the edge of throwing the whole lot away, because its essentially all pointless.
The job is the bit that's particularly driving me crackers. Essentially I put on parties for people with too much money. It's a constant fight to do the job "right", the end result of days of mental and physical brutalility lasts for 3 or 4 hours at most, and essentially the whole sorry shebang never need happen in the first place, as it's just a bit of diversion for rich, bored cretins. Problem is I'm good at it, I'm unqualified for anything else, and I'm fairly well paid. I'm also absolutely unwilling to take a step backwards in my (comfortable but not excessive) lifestyle because that simply is failure.
I used to live for riding my bikes, but I'm getting to the point this last few weeks that I'm terrified of going out and not being good enough. My average speed on road seems to have dropped over the summer. Off road I'm turning into a mincer. Making stupid mistakes. Falling off. Just being crap. If you're not going to be the best you've ever been, why are you bothering? yet if I don't go out constantly, of course my riding is just going to get worse. Anyway, even at the best of times, riding an expensive bike in a big circle is just another bit of selfishness, and equally pointless/wastefull.
So all that pointlessness is leaving me wondering whether any of it is worthwhile. All any of us do is sit on this frigging planet and consume what scant resources are left. Yet I can't even do what often feels like the right thing and remove myself from it (in as clean and tidy a fashion as possible). By doing so I'll stitch up the missus on my life insurance and get her chucked out of the house we've both worked so hard for.
Trapped.
All first world problems at the end of the day. It's occurred to me farly regularly that my definition of "enjoyment" is doing something that stops me being able to think. Because thinking just brings me straight back round to how empty it all is. Maybe it would be better if we were fighting for the next scrap of food or sip of water and watching children die of disease in front of us while the rest of the world looks on uncaringly.
[quote=JonEdwards ]I'm also absolutely unwilling to take a step backwards in my (comfortable but not excessive) lifestyle because that simply is failure.Only in your eyes - and only if you let it be.
Because you might actually enjoy it?
I used to live for riding my bikes, but I'm getting to the point this last few weeks that I'm terrified of going out and not being good enough. My average speed on road seems to have dropped over the summer. Off road I'm turning into a mincer. Making stupid mistakes. Falling off. Just being crap. If you're not going to be the best you've ever been, why are you bothering?
It seems to me that you are very competitive - in your career and in your riding. What's wrong with just doing stuff because you want to/like to and not seeing it as some need to get "better" all the time?
thats good! when you realize that, it means you can do anything you want, because essentially, its all pointless..essentially all pointless.
It seems to me that you are very competitive - in your career and in your riding. What's wrong with just doing stuff because you want to/like to and not seeing it as some need to get "better" all the time?
Hmm, although a completely different industry, Jons work issues reflect mine, and that statement ^^, rings very true. I always ride to "beat" my times / as hard as I can as well.
My view(others are available at popular outlets )
If you (and the people you care about) are in good physical and mental health,then life is a simple balance.
It's the over complicating things,that spoils it.
There are things that people want because they think they need them.
What do you really ,really need?
Find your place on the seesaw.
What's wrong with just doing stuff because you want to/like to and not seeing it as some need to get "better" all the time?
Because the bit that is FUN is the feeling of satisfaction having done something better. Bikes/climbing/driving/work/DIY/anything is just a means to access that feeling. As soon as I stop learning/improving it's just drudgery.
Poor you.
All first world problems at the end of the day. It's occurred to me farly regularly that my definition of "enjoyment" is doing something that stops me being able to think. Because thinking just brings me straight back round to how empty it all is. Maybe it would be better if we were fighting for the next scrap of food or sip of water and watching children die of disease in front of us while the rest of the world looks on uncaringly.
Sounds like you have some mental health issues (that's not at all meant as a snarky comment btw).
Really? From where I'm standing it comes back (as demonstrated in this thread) that nobody has actually given a good, non-selfish definition of why their life isn't empty.
The "standard" definition was the guy who was talking about bringing up kids, but to my way of thinking bringing more consumers onto the planet is selfish, and then effectively treating their upbringing as a hobby/lifestyle to keep you entertained and busy is equally selfish.
nobody has actually given a good, non-selfish definition of why their life isn't empty.
I don't feel like my life is empty at all, and I don't have kids. I think I need to try and be a bit less materialistic and less competitive, but so do most people IMO, and I'm doing ok.
I used to live for riding my bikes, but I'm getting to the point this last few weeks that I'm terrified of going out and not being good enough.
Anyway, even at the best of times, riding an expensive bike in a big circle is just another bit of selfishness, and equally pointless/wastefull.So all that pointlessness is leaving me wondering whether any of it is worthwhile. All any of us do is sit on this frigging planet and consume what scant resources are left. Yet I can't even do what often feels like the right thing and remove myself from it (in as clean and tidy a fashion as possible). By doing so I'll stitch up the missus on my life insurance and get her chucked out of the house we've both worked so hard for.
Trapped.
Try reading some of this stuff back with an objective eye - doesn't sound at all healthy to me. I've had similar thoughts at times, and associate it with clinical depression.
If you really can't enjoy a gentle walk or bike ride with your missus or your friends, don't you think that's not a healthy way to be?
And if you really hate your job and the people you work for, do something different/better. Even if you earn less money/have to have a less shiny bike/car/house/whatever. Being miserable is not worth any price IMO.
Because it's full of things I enjoy doing and people seem to enjoy doing them with me. Madame seemed to enjoy the lie in as much as me, the people down the pool were happy, the man in the computer shop fixed my box with a smile and happily took the cash, people shared the roads with no aggression. In fact it was all going swingingly till I logged on to STW (there was a downside to the man fixing the box so quickly afterall).
I thought about the kids issue and decided having one wasn't irresponsible, would add something to my/our lives and would hopefully add an eco-friendly citizen rather than a marketing-brainwashed super-consumer.
On the grass being greener, sometimes it is. I resigned a career job with Welsh Water, quit motorsport, said farewell to the lady in my life and took a job as a campsite courrier in France. I forgot about all my old references and ambitions, new ones appeared and inspired.
Slowing down, reflexes going and feeling the effects of ageing has happened but later than I expected. I just keep buying bigger computer screens and avoid looking in the mirror with my glasses on.
Happiness is a simple thing: you are happy when you are not trying to be happy
Zen Saying
(Easier said than done, but musn't try too hard 😉 )
chipsngravy - Member
Happiness is a simple thing: you are happy when you are not trying to be happy
This is also in line with the Chimp Paradox version; Acceptance. Accept who you are in life and what you have and not feeling pressured, for any reason to please others ambitions (those other than your inner circle).
I'd imagine a lot of people think about doing something different. I don't think wanting to look at something different is necessarily a sign of depression. I like my job, I enjoy it but I don't want to do it for the next 40 years.
France sounds good.
Well kryton, when I was a physics geek at uni all the navel gazing arty pseudo types seemed to get all the action, I assumed it was due to their emotional depth staring into Nietzsches abyss and reading Kafka, not just their lack of greasy hair and Red Dwarf T shirts....
Happiness is a simple thing: you are happy when you are not trying to be happy
Well that is a circular statement, isn't it? Cos if you are happy by definition you are not going to be trying to be happy. Smug useless smart alecry pretending to be something useful shocker 😉
I'd imagine a lot of people think about doing something different. I don't think wanting to look at something different is necessarily a sign of depression.
Nope nor do I and that's not what I was saying.
labsey - you need to re-read grums comments on this page. He was certainly being more direct (and more honest) with the OP than I had attempted.
It seems to me that you are very competitive - in your career and in your riding. What's wrong with just doing stuff because you want to/like to and not seeing it as some need to get "better" all the time?
The fact that you ask that question means you won't understand the answer. Sometimes trying to be the fastest or best is the whole point. Who runs 100m for fun? Why play Monopoly at all if you don't care about winning? For some, cycling is the same.
[quote=molgrips ][b]Sometimes [/b]trying to be the fastest or best is the whole point.
That's right. Competition can get the adrenaline going, but it's not good/sensible to live your [i]whole[/i] life like that. There must be time for other things too. Being like that all of the time is like being an alcoholic - it takes more and more of it to have any effect.
you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you'll find, you get what you need.
just do what you enjoy as much as you can, try hard at things you love. have family if you can. try not to think too far ahead. life is good. there will always be something better or different that you could have done instead of what you are doing but never mind, smile and have a beer when things are crap
I get the whole "gaping hole" thing (fnarr, well it is friday)
A couple of years ago I thought the type of car/watch/bike/haircut/shoes/t-shirt, all that mattered. I sunk into an obsessive state of mind and into depression, lost my job, got into more debt than I could handle just trying to live day to day. Luckily I have a wife that saw that it would get better and helped rather than throwing a wobbly and leaving.
Now I still have the depression and obsessive traits, but all the things that I thought mattered started to not matter as much. I'm still in debt, but its getting better. I have a house, my wife still wants to be with me and I have a dog that thinks i'm the bees knees (when I'm willing to repeatadly throw things for, he has worse OCD than me)
As for the gaping hole? I got into a job that I actually enjoy doing rather than something I hate but do it for the cash. I have an interview this week to hopefully get higher up the ladder, and I'm self teaching coding to hopefully one day get into my dream job. It's all about the balance, as soon as you try to extend too far outside your comfort zone that's when unhappiness kicks in right royally.
