Get rid of the family, problem solved.
TBF it's a better answer than taking up running!!
I hate running but 5k once or twice a week is a very easy way of staying fit.
Wow this kicked off. Thanks for replying.
I definitely think that feeling rushed to get back for the kids is off-putting too. I can get out once a week if i want but the enthusiasm has been killed by the feeling of it being a squeeze hence the road bike. I think i would miss the MTB if i sold it but then again if i enjoyed gravel that would be fine. Lack of confidence is part of this too knowing lots of my local trails are an eye opener in the mud and are generally steep tech, not riding much is a confidence killer for me unless its trail centre rides.
I need to get on a gravel bike to try it. I have a loan offer i may take up on the next few week. Buying one as a third bike would be best but cannot justify that! Ebike would be better but i like the XC bits, the fitness as well as the down hills.
2 boys, 7 and 10 here. The best tip I can give you is get up early - really early, before everyone else. It's free time. Tough some days, but laying everything out the night before makes things easier.
I have a gravel bike and a mtb. The gravel bike is brilliant for when I need to get back, but still gets me to my favourite places on the hills, whereas a road bike can't do that.
Other thing to think about is riding the gravel bike in the week will keep you fit for when do get out on the mtb. That will make things much more enjoyable when you do get some mtb time.
Running is the answer. It’s the most time efficient way of exercising and getting out of the house.
An hours running will leave you tired as you like and requires no prep or planning. You can be out the door 5 minutes after you decided to go.
And, whisper it, but trails and single track are as much fun running as they are on a bike. Good fun at night with a headlight too.
I say all this while doing the grand total of sod all and being the least fit, least active and heaviest I've been since 2003 but,
Get up early and go out, the hardest part is putting your shoes on. I enjoy the trail running from my house. It's a different buzz really.
There's two days in a weekend, when we still had kids at home we took one each - leaving the other five in the week for everything else.
One thing though, my OH also has a time consuming hobby, and nothing comes close to the costs of horses so I've never had a 'budget' issue either.
Have noticed with friends that the biggest issues have always been where their OH didn't have a 'proper' hobby.
But, once they grow up and are independent (all were driving before 18), time expands 🙂
Have noticed with friends that the biggest issues have always been where their OH didn’t have a ‘proper’ hobby.
Yeah, if your OH just enjoys being at home with the family it sets up a bit of guilt/friction when your hobby is basically getting as far away from home and family as your legs can take you, as often as possible, on expensive equipment 😂
2 boys, 7 and 10 here. The best tip I can give you is get up early – really early, before everyone else. It’s free time. Tough some days, but laying everything out the night before makes things easier.
This is me for the past five years. Three times a week whatever the weather (well Queensland may be cheating).
I can commute on good gravel to one workplace or drive to awesome mtb at the other but it keeps me sane and my wife recognises how annoying I’d be if I didn’t do it.
I could have written the OP myself. Gravel bikes are amazing just for getting out, despite the fact that some people just don’t seem to understand them!
What form they take is up to you, drop bars or rigid 29er or even just a HT 29er they just work for jumping on and getting out.
Ditto, my Gravel bike has definitely kept me riding more regularly than my MTB, and it's been a useful part of the family compromise.
I guess there's two parts to this really, the compromises in family life and routine that are required for both parents to feel like more than just a parent, and the compromises required to be able to hang onto some version of the bike riding you want to do.
Pre-kids, packing up the bike in a car to go ride in Wales wasn't such an issue, my missus wasn't interested in it though so it was "my thing" and I could take a day or two out to do it whenever. Now I'd say a trip away comes with guaranteed recriminations and complaints that she's short on "me time" after the fact.
So I ride locally more than anything. For my local riding road and Gravel bikes suit best, we're not in an MTB hotspot. That compromise is pretty much invisible to my missus a bike is a bike she sees very little difference between and MTB and anything else with wheels...
Our kids are getting older, but their interest in bikes and riding is just not on par with mine and you can't bully them into loving bikes. I'd say my missus gets plenty of 'her time' but generally squanders it (I keep that opinion to myself and support the things she wants to do) Gyms are apparently where exercise happens, driving yourself to things is for peasants I fill the gaps where I can but still get the occasional quip about "doing your own thing".
Meh, they're entering teenage years now and becoming more self sufficient (to a point). So I am getting some time back but still not enough to go off roaming on bikes all weekend, and I do need to spend time with the missus that isn't just parenting or sitting watching crap on telly.
I've got a few bikes now (all relatively cheap) the gravel and road ones see the most year round use, the rigid 1x9 MTB gets some use and is the default for offroad night rides currently it's simple and cheap and if you're going to have chunkier tyres you might as well have sensible width bars IMO. The full fat FS is pretty much a summer only bike now that's a conscious choice on my part, if I'm going to get limited chances to use the thing it might as well be in optimal conditions.
The way to look at it is that a bike is simply a piece of equipment for your leisure/enjoyment, but that has to fit in with your wider life. Right now if time is limited then doorstep riding may well suit a gravel bike better, but that's only the current situation.
People get a bit hung up on their cycling tribes and struggle to adjust when circumstances means a change would be beneficial, You're not an 'MTBer' or 'gravel rider' you're just a bicycle rider, the bicycles you ride can vary with your current needs.
I'm Very much a gravel bike evangelist, and if I had to go down to a single bike for the rest of my days, it would probably be some flavour of gravel bike, but that's only because my particular set of circumstances has landed me there, give it another decade and who knows what hype train I'll be riding 😉
Similar situation to OP. My little one is 18 months old, OH suffered from PTSD the last year too, so riding time has been very very limited. I got myself a gravel bike in September and love it. I've had to change my mentality to riding, so just seeing it as a way to get some headspace and keep that dad belly at bay. I ride at lunch a couple of times a week, mostly road but have found some nice little forestry tracks, droves and bridleways to pop down. I'd rather ride slowly and take in the countryside and enjoy being out than trying to blast everything and see it purely as a 'training' type ride.
I do lament lost riding at times, but I've done that since relocating to Devon and not having any friends down this way.
I do only see the lack of riding as temporary, as long as I can get a bimble or two in a week then I am happy. I'd much rather at the moment enjoy time with my daughter, who is the most amazing little thing ever.
@cookeaa much of your post resonates with me. Our 2 eldest are adults and our youngest is nearly 16 so well past the most demanding ages(time wise). When they were young you just have to fit stuff in when you can, at drop offs for activities I used to go for a run or something, saves driving there and back twice or pretending you are interested in watching your kids do said activity 😉
You’re not an ‘MTBer’ or ‘gravel rider’ you’re just a bicycle rider
I don’t agree with this though, if MTB is your passion then road or gravel just doesn’t satisfy that itch.
My kids are 7 and 5. For a few years it's been a real struggle fitting stuff in but as others have said you have to try and adapt what you're doing.
The best tips I've seen here are:-
1. Be prepared, make sure your bikes are all in working order and you have riding kit available. You have to remove as many obstacles as you can. This helped massively for squeezing cheeky pre-work rides in (helped massively by WFH which obviously doesn't suit everyone!) The point here is it will help you carve time out to ride, even if it's just a quick spin on the road.
2. Book the time in with the family. I'm a bit rubbish at this and find adopting my old approach of just ride whenever there's some free time without any real plan causes friction and allows the guilt levels to ride once you're actually out! If it's pre-arranged then the guilt reduces significantly lol.
3. Adjusting expectations. I used to race enduro and riding focused on riding techy trails and shuttling trails etc. on a longer travel enduro style bike. Once we had kids I replaced that with a hardtail, then a SS and currently a rigid 29er.I find that these different style bikes reignite the challenge and also focus you in a different way. Riding tech trails on a rigid 29er is really quite fulfilling as is the constant pain of riding a SS. By all means try the gravel bike, it may just help reinvigorate your enthusiasm for riding.
Also remember, as the kids get older, things change. They grow and become their own people and spend time playing with each other (if you have more than 1) or doing their own thing. Admittedly this is where the taxi service comes in and you find instead of being around them to entertain/be present your time is required to deliver them to/from various parties/activities!
My two are 17 and 14 now and both keen cyclists. I know exactly how you’re feeling and it is difficult when the kids are young.
A trailer meant that I could ride with the kids to give the wife some time and luckily for me they both loved being towed around the woods and getting muddy. Looking back, it was very good training!
It’s not long before they will be riding their own bikes although rides were much slower than if i rode on my own but still fun.
I still get up early on a Saturday and get a couple of hours in before the family gets up to get my fix and as others have said, night rides are great especially this time of year with not a lot of daylight.
Involving the kids in my cycling from an early age has been great for the family as a whole and I love it when they now ask me to ride with them.
And, whisper it, but trails and single track are as much fun running as they are on a bike.
Mate, I know you've got a lot of shoes you need to justify buying, but just no.
😛
And I run just as often as I ride, actually more often this time of year.
if MTB is your passion then road or gravel just doesn’t satisfy that itch.
Yeah, I used to be quite "mono-cultural" about bikes, I wasn't interested in anything but MTBs, but you do end up shutting off other possibilities if you do that. Gravel bikes may not fully "scratch the itch" of MTBing but they can help, and I can't honestly see me wanting to ride MTBs the way I like when I'm approaching 70, but gravel bikes could well see me through to old age with a moderate degree of satisfaction. I think once you get past your mid 30s a degree of pragmatic realism helps.
I used to go for a run or something
Yep, again I'm not a runner, but I do occasionally go for a run, doesn't blow my skirt up, but beats doing nothing by a long way...
Oh, I’m totally with you on that. I ride my gravel bike more than anything else by a long shot and I probably get more enjoyment out of it than MTB, mainly because my appetite for injury risk is very low these days. But I know people who need that adrenaline hit at least once a week.
Edit: Also, full length mudguards just doesn’t get old at this time of year.
Mate, I know you’ve got a lot of shoes you need to justify buying, but just no.
😛
And I run just as often as I ride, actually more often this time of year.
Yep, running is not fun but a means to an end.
As for the OP, how about a second set of road wheels for the GB and sell the road? I binned off my RB after getting the GB but, I guess I was never really a roadie.
i bought a gravel bike under similar circumstance. been used about 4 or 5 times, gravel riding is pretty shit. not as shit as road riding but just does not provide that mtb fix. in fairness i have enjoyed some longer rides, when the conditions have been perfect, that i wouldnt bother doing on my mtb. i thought id use it more in winter but its definitely only getting used in summer if i keep it.
where i work i can build up 30mins of flexi per day then every couple of weeks have a free day off and just go riding all day somewhere!! dont even tell the fam what im up to!! works for us.
The other thing I'd say is actually getting out a bit is important because it normalises that for the kids. I've always thought that it's good for my children to see mum and dad taking some time for themselves to indulge their passion and going off to do something cool and active in the outdoors.
I'm through this now. Eldest goes to uni in September and the other one is doing A-levels.
It depends how hungry you are. Although its begining to fade a bit now, I've spent most of my life feeling like a caged bear if I can't exercise adequately.
When they were born I took 9 months off from riding for each and ran from the front door instead.
Once I got back to riding, I used to be up at 04:00 on the weekend and be back for about 10:00 and out late after the kids were in bed once or twice a week.
My eldest was a poor sleeper for 5 years so I just slept in her room to sooth her instantly if she woke, which meant everyone got better sleep and meant I could give mrs officer a decent stab at proper sleep so she was cool with me extending morning rides a little after the kids were up.
I've never really got back to very regular full day rides at the weekend, but generally get an 8:00 to 13:00 ride in. Tbh, there way more other stuff for me to be getting on with at the weekend, so I'm content to ride a bit less and more locally.
I didn't have the option of gravel back then, but tbh off-road touring isn't my bag.
I'd not get up that early now though.
I used to get up at daft o'clock to squeeze a MTB ride in before family time started.
I work shifts now so can go to the woods for a few hours while the youngest is in nursery. He starts school proper in September so "me" time should improve. Although I'll be hammering the jobs around the home to make sure family time is just that.
