More Bikemonger sti...
 

[Closed] More Bikemonger stickers.... what have you got in your head?

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Blimey this comes round quicker every time. We must have put 50,000 stickers out there now.

Running low on stickers, so what do you kids wanna see stuck to the dandy horses this season?

Is there anything you want to see back in the sticky mix..? ones we stopped doing because I grew a little lump of self-conscience and had mothers glare at me when their child read a “If I was a trucker I would crush you and your ****ing car”.

So what you got???
Prizes for the best and stickers for one and all.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:39 pm
 Leku
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x=n+1 where n is the number of gears you currently have


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:45 pm
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Bit roadie-esque maybe?

[i]Faster than doped beef

Lance stole my other spockets[/i]


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:45 pm
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gears make baby jesus cry


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:46 pm
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Pass the chainwhip, time to change gear

Every time you change gear a kitten dies


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:49 pm
 grum
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I never got any stickers either of the times sent my details before. 🙁


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:51 pm
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I never got any stickers either of the times sent my details before.

catchy, I like it

Can I have two stickers for my bike, both of which say - "This sticker should have been sent to Grum"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:53 pm
 JonR
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- Singlespeed: Cos gearing ratios are too complicated for my tiny mind.

- Fixies: How can the people in Shoreditch be wrong?


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:54 pm
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loads of gears, no idea


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:56 pm
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"what he said"

"my gear's bigger than yours"

"I wish my gear was this dirty"

"one gear, one braincell"

"I ride singlespeed because I lack opposable thumbs"

"Freddie Starr ate my other gears"

"Sheldon who?"

"insert niche and semi-witty but ultimately only amusing to the terminally geeky comment here"

That last one might be a bit long for a sticker...

😉


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:56 pm
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I Spin therefore I Win

Its not about the bike (its about the dealer)

Charliethebikemonger tweaked my nipples and fettled my rim


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 2:56 pm
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how's about the cyclist's* creed?

"[i]this is my bike, there are many like it, but this one is mine.
my bike is my best friend. it is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
my bike, without me, is useless. without my bike, I am useless.[/i]

or an abbreviation thereof:
"[i]this is my bike, there are many like it, but this one is mine.[/i]"
or
[i]my bike, without me, is useless. without my bike, I am useless.[/i]

*originally the rifleman's creed - see Full Metal Jacket


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:02 pm
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Yes, I work in IT


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:04 pm
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Thorks


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:04 pm
 ski
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'This sticker is meaningless'

'protected by a super injuction'

'ride one, ride off'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:05 pm
 LoCo
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eyes on the pies


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:06 pm
 JonR
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Beware, this sticker has sharp edges. Do not touch.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:07 pm
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'Caution: May become invisible when riden on the road'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:07 pm
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Did you steal my old bike?


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:07 pm
 MSP
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I made my choices, now I live with the shame!


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:11 pm
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there's a nicer bike with just a cable lock at number 42 - steal that one


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:13 pm
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If seen off-road, call the police
I went to heaven and all I got was this crappy rapture sticker
Built by angels, ridden by demons


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:13 pm
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This is my GEAR, there are many like it, but this one is mine


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:15 pm
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RIDECAKETEAREPEAT


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:16 pm
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This bike has probably been stolen

Edit - add "please call 01929 475 833" for extra customers!


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:16 pm
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Ridden By Ryan


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:18 pm
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"I know who rode her but I can't tell you."


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:23 pm
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How about:

I hate STW. Bunch of middle class whiney cockbags

?


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:24 pm
 Leku
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Brand Whore

I've had more bikes than you've had hot dinners.

This IS my hack bike.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:26 pm
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Charlie Mongered Me!


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:29 pm
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if I wanted a 29er I'd have bought a 'cross bike


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:31 pm
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it aint road tax, its VED.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:31 pm
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Spin and Grin, Turn and Gurn


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:31 pm
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'this is why i'm single'

'stop reading, start riding'

'****ing hippies!'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:34 pm
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2:1 since time begun


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:38 pm
 tang
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'Deraillaphobic'

'I suffer from Deraillaphobia, but my bike looks lush'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:47 pm
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'i'm not a single speed rider but my gay muslamic swan is'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:47 pm
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"One car fewer"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:47 pm
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niche work if you can get it


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:47 pm
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It's me or the bike… consider the divorce papers are in the post dear.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:47 pm
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Its not about the bike, its about the shinyness


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:49 pm
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Eat my trail dust


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:51 pm
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"If its as easy as riding a bike, then your not pedalling hard enough"

Does that make any sense?


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:51 pm
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Also,

"Get your cock out"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:52 pm
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I climb hills for fun

A clean bike is a wasted bike

Real singletrack has nettles

I flinch for brambles

Rabbit holes are god's way of testing your reactions

If I wasn't riding this footpath I'd have more time to annoy ramblers

If this is cheeky then I'm a mountainbiker...oh


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 3:58 pm
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My dealer won't sell me any gears


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:00 pm
 gazc
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all the gears, no ideas


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:03 pm
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Routine maintenance should never be neglected

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Midnight bugs taste best.

A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover. (AMEN!!!)

Winter is Natures way of telling you to clean your bike.

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.

Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.

A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.

Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:07 pm
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[url= http://www.charliethebikemonger.com/surly-singleator-25-p.asp ]"It's not a pizza slicer, you numpty"[/url]


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:08 pm
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"Once you've ridden fat, you won't go back" - for the fatbike crowd

"Stop sniffing my saddle" (in small type so they have to bend over to read it & thus look like they are sniffing)


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:09 pm
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"look daddy, a bike with gears"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:12 pm
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Haven;t read all the others yet, sorry if any have been said already.

1 gear, no idea.

If you can read this, you're probably about to run me over.

Cycling, compensating for a larger penis!


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:15 pm
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Wake'n'bake, Ride'n'cake


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:18 pm
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Best by a long way

Charliethebikemonger tweaked my nipples and fettled my rim


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:27 pm
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mr potatohead - Member
niche work if you can get it

Also very funny.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 4:28 pm
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Shut up legs


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:03 pm
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All men are created equal - except singlespeeders

I have a pet MAMIL


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:09 pm
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overbiked


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:11 pm
 grum
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fitness compensator (for lightweight xc bikes)


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:13 pm
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your bike sucks

can't ride for shit

gnarr

rides like your sister


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:17 pm
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Were not all fat phuckers


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:30 pm
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Quoting a mate of mine
" 26" wheels lol how quaint"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:33 pm
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If you can read this through the mud, i've not been ridden enough.

Grow a beard, get a singlespeed and Harden the F... up. ( A la Ronnie Johns Chopper impersonation)
Or just HTFU
Toughen up princess.
Actually the last two would be good on a top cap.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:37 pm
 grum
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desperate to be different (for singlespeeders) 😉


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:39 pm
 wbss
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"I've owned more f*ing bikes than you've had hot dinners mate."


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:41 pm
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A cog is for life, not just for Xmas.

I asked santa for a mint sauce key ring but all I got was this lousy sticker.

This niche bike is a chav free zone.

Charlie says, always tell mummy before riding off into the woods with strangers.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:45 pm
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"I wanna bash your back doors in"

I'm a biker Gleek!

The wife thinks this was my original bike!

bike packing the long way around

If found please look in the nearest hedge for it's owner, first aid kit is in the pack!


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 5:57 pm
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miketually - Member
"One car fewer"

Good work. I've been thinking the same thing for a while.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:10 pm
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This is not a push bike.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:12 pm
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If you can read this my owner spends more time polishing than riding.
If you can read this I have been taken out of the shed.


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:13 pm
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middle class whiney cockbags made me do it...


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:15 pm
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"My dealer said the first fixie was free"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:18 pm
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Inspired by keyses

"I accelerate for cake"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:23 pm
 OCB
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#1. "Not paid road tax since 1937"
#2. "Save a bike - Grow a beard"

I'm liking:

Toughen up princess.
and ...
If you can read this I have been taken out of the shed.

OT, (sorry) where would one get an engraved headset cap? (I 'spose 'any' engravers would/might do it).


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:33 pm
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'I Niche, Therefore I am'

'Single speed. Single track mind...... Single'

'Niche to see you. To see you Niche!'


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:34 pm
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I wish my mum was this dirty


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:39 pm
 OCB
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maccruiskeen - Member

I wish my mum was this dirty

Inevitably then perhaps 😉 ... "I wish [i]your[/i] mum was this dirty"


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:45 pm
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maccruiskeen - Member
I wish my [s]mum[/s] ''girlfriend'' was this dirty

Surely a typo? 😯


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:48 pm
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My other toy has breasts....
My other bike's a hardtail
It's not retro it's just old


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:55 pm
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Typo? Nah, he is Scottish


 
Posted : 23/05/2011 6:57 pm
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