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@thegoodbyegirl - welcome to another thyroid sufferer, there's a few of us on here although I'm the most vocal! And unpopular with the GPs on here. 😉
As you were chaps.
I can't believe no-one's suggested whistling 'Fat Bottomed Girls' or 'Big Bottom' as a subliminal suggestion.
You could ask her what her Weight Watchers targets are, and suggest a (non-edible) treat when she achieves them. Mr Toast said that we could go to the Donkey Village in the Peak District* when I hit my goal weight. \o/
* Your missus may be slightly less amused by the donkey village. Might want to find something that she'd actually enjoy. Although donkeys are ace.
Comfort eating...?
I should know, I've lugged 4st of it around (on/off) for the last 15 years. Coming off now, (2st to go), but not easy if its become a way of life.
Love some of the typical answers, particularly the pretending to fly up in the air one when she sits down. Seriously though, she knows she's overeating / undermoving, & you need to tread carefully in dealing with it.
Is she secretly pregnant and is on mumsnet right now asking the ladies how she is going to tell her man his cycling days are numbered??
My flat mate asked me this same question once, about to tell my other flat mate, his girlfriend... the thing was, he also was majorly over weight... I suggested he took her to the gym, went swimming, etc together trying to kill two birds with one stone... he instead asked his girlfriends friend to take her! They are no longer an item!
I'm not sure there are many more difficult subjects to bring up with your partner, it will require some seriously sensitive handling, and not just on one occasion. The journey to weight loss, if she wants it, will be a long tough road and there will be many tears along the way. It might actually be easier just to bin her and get a new one.
maybe try and encourage her to be more active by doing things that are fun. Or be frank with her, no point sugar coating it as she'd just eat it.
Just how fat we talking here? We talking a stone or so heavier than when you got together (pretty normal), or we talking serious problems when walking past small objects with them entering her orbit...?
If the former, she's probably aware but something you do, or have done, or her low self esteem has stopped her from doing much about it, but she doesn't think it is much of an issue. And you need to be fair that people do, as they get older, generally put on a bit of weight. I'm almost 3 stone heavier than I was 12 years ago, but that said at 31 I'm now just about a healthy weight for a guy of my height, at 19 and just over 9 stone I was stupidly skinny.
If the latter, then you just have to be mega blunt... Not being funny, I went on a date with a girl recently, could tell from the outset that she was a little larger than other girls I've dated, but we got on like a house on fire. Were only going to meet up for a couple of drinks, but 5 hours later we're still laughing and joking away... Anyway, by now both of us a little tired and certainly well lubricated, she invites me up to hers for a "coffee". Obviously a little while later, one thing led to another and... All I'll say is that I could have sued for false advertising, industrial strength elastic has a whole lot to answer for! In her clothes she looked perhaps a stone overweight, but still had a good figure. Out of them... Well Mr. Stiff became Mr. Floppy... 😕
You've got to be honest and truthful to yourself, even if it makes you sound like a callous heartless bastard to everyone else. What's the point in being unhappy and unfulfilled in your own life, you'll be of little use to anyone around you. You need to be honest with her (without being so blunt as to be hurtful), otherwise you're only lying to yourself...
To makkag, the guy seeing the woman who has everything going for her except he doesn't fancy her... Again, be honest with yourself. Settling down with someone is about love and respect, and wanting to be with them for the rest of your life. If you can't love her because you don't fancy her, then you should still at least respect her enough to tell her this, cos if not then you certainly don't respect her enough either... That said though, if you've got a good lawyer, and can get a cast iron pre-nup written up really quickly, then why not give it a go, see where the next 2 years and a whole heap of freeloading can get you! 😉
Getting them to admit it is one thing, getting them to do anything about it is another. My SO has put on a lot of weight lately partially due to health problems and the drugs she has to take but partially because she is incredibly lazy. She even watched the programme on the tv about exercise which said normal activity goes a long way to keeping fit but she still never gets out of her chair after 5.30. A lot is my fault cos I indulge her when she says 'just get us another ....' I should say get of your arse and do it yourself but she then plays the illness card. Her bike is immaculate, -- she never rides it but she has bought some new walking boots so there is some hope. And yes, of course it is all my fault, everything that is.
Gonna go for some helpful advice.
1 - tell her you love her but are worried about her health as she seems to still be putting on weight.
2 - offer to help her by: doing the shopping (less / no choc), healthy foods (fish, veg, chicken etc. and fruit or dried fruit as snacks), do the cooking so you can portion control.
3 - make exercise fun! Buy her a bike or go swimming with her, even walks are good. Walk to the pub for a salad and a lemonade!!
My wife took on some weight the last couple years.
Easiest way I found to let her know was when we had our monthly argument..
She would remind me how bald I am getting .... I could safely tell her how fat she was.
Problem was - i would be on a sex diet for a week or so.
And she would always say how her friends think she got a lovely figure ...
She was totally blanking out the fact her thighs were now rubbing together when she walked..
Very frustrating!
So a different tactic was needed.
Valentines day this year I bought her a french maid outfit with stockings & suspenders..
The realisation that I knew what sizes to get seem to have done the trick.
Sex was still on offer. But the diet started a day or so later.
Now, because she is on an official diet I can tell her what she shouldnt be eating.
get her a puppy. (not to eat)
You need these items=running machine,hand cuffs and a hammer
Put her on running machine,turn up to a good pace,hand cuff her and smash the speed control with the hammer,now exit left and go to pub come back in two days..........
IMO your pretty screwed 🙁
When I met my other half she was 'curvy' and this wasn't too much of a problem as I fancied her that way. I'd always dated skinny or normal sized girls before as I'm not attracted to overweight girls.
This wasn't a problem until a few months of going out and curvy went to overweight. I told her at the time that I was concerned that if she put on any more weight I wouldn't fancy her. Que 6 months of her being in tears, telling me what a shallow person I was and telling her parents and family what a b@stard I was for saying it!!
Don't expect and support from anyone else either! My friends told me I was being shallow, easy for them to say when they both have skinny girlfriends, and any advice you will get is that it is YOUR problem for being shallow etc etc!!
So I have tried everything. Telling her straight, doesn't work. Telling her in a nice way, doesn't work. Trying to get her to go and do excercise with you, doesn't work.
Now after 5 years and being 5 stone overweight things seem to be going the right way as she has finally joined a sliming club and is now actually eating sensibly, but still won't do any excersie!
Good luck!
I've never been to one but these 'slimming clubs' just sound like a license to print money!
Does anyone have any experience of them?
I've never been to one but these 'slimming clubs' just sound like a license to print money!
My Missus has started going and they are good as in they seem to help you keep motivated. But she does her own diet which has nothing to do with what they advised her to do.
What I find so frustrating is that they don't just say 'for gods sake, you NEED to do excersice as well as diet to loose weight!
I've never been to one but these 'slimming clubs' just sound like a license to print money!. Does anyone have any experience of them?
As one of the better half's friends said after attending one for a while:
[i]"I don't need to pay a ****ing tenner a week for someone to tell me I'm fat!"[/i]
However, I do know someone who credits it with losing a huge amount of weight
worry when it gets to this stage [IMG] 
[/IMG]
A mate of mine used to work for the council. One job he had to do was knock down the front wall of a house so they could get a fork lift in to extract the body of an incredibly obese woman who, surprise surprise had died relatively young. These are the exceptions but we need to watch out!
Ive not read all this, but I assume someone has already said that telling a woman she's fat is [i]never[/i] going to end well.
Well +1 to that.
Slimming clubs work if you have will power, my mum has a will of iron and was hated at slimming world for consistantly losing the most weight every week. She is now in great shape for her 63 years, but is a very active person and walks my poor dog into the ground.
Weight is an issue for 99% of women, having a borderline anorexic girlfriend is just as bad, really difficult and stressful for all involved.
Is this about concern for your partner's wellbeing or some aesthetic snobbery on your part?
I'd have thought if you had strong will power you wouldn't need a slimming club.
I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting your partner to look as good as they can!
such a touchy subject!
if she was smoking to much and her hair was smelling, teeth turning bad etc - I would imagine most people would simply say cut down on the fags (with a respose like "your right)
if you say cut down on the cakes (oh sh@it)! you bast@d! 🙄
She didn't, she went to keep my wife company and realised she had put on more weight than she would like after a hip injury. Don't start on my mum, she'll eat yer legs! (idiet friendly protein) 🙂
Its all about good old-fashioned bullying, peer pressure and ritual public humiliation.
Its all about good old-fashioned bullying, peer pressure and ritual public humiliation.
true...let the mind games begin 😈
[i]worry when it gets to this stage [/i]
relationships like that are as much about the 'skinny' one needing someone completely dependent on them as the overweight one having a problem.
+1 sefton, most peoples weight fluctuates from time to time, having children, illness, christmas! but I wouldn't be happy if my wife completely let herself go, she certainly wouldn't be happy either. There is an acceptable buffer zone, but beyond that action needs to be taken.It's not a one way street either, I would soon be told to lay off the pies if I was losing it. We work together eating healthy meals and motivating each other.
As much as I disagree with Government intervention, I do feel that they need to sort out the food manufacturers and clear the shelves of so much junk.
they're the best sellers - have a look whats on the shelf ends of the supermarkets (fresh chickens & soup? no beer,wine,treats etc)
Does anyone want anything from Greggs?
Does anyone want anything from Greggs?
just a sausage roll (I'm slimming)
late to the party - going back a bit...
milkyman - Member
for all you fellas out there that have super slim, fit women in you life your very lucky to have not had ask this question but one day you might, or she might even be thinking it about you
me, [s]athletic[/s] skinny, missus, skinny
lucky? no, not at all, my missus counts calories, skips meals and constantly complains that she has fat thighs. The worry at this end of the scale is to see when it tips over into eating disorder.
however its an open and ongoing conversation, how you start that bit is the hardest, but do it. self criticism is probably your best start, vocally worry about what you eat/weigh, till your missus is happy to join in your conversation.
apologies to posters on p3&4, im getting there
can any fat or fatish women on here explain why its such a no go topic?
I think living a healthy lifestyle is as important as pensions,wills and other future safe plans. now this is a sensible discussion that shouldn't be as difficult to talk about.
it also apply to skinny types too
focus on health not size (as the former will look after the later) 😉
Re Cinnamon-Girl's question about Fat Clubs.
azurro - MemberI've never been to one but these 'slimming clubs' just sound like a license to print money!
What I find so frustrating is that they don't just say 'for gods sake, you NEED to do excersice as well as diet to loose weight!
+1 to an extent, but to qualify; Mrs Removed has been going to the local Slimming World on and off for a couple of years and it most definitely does help with motivation, especially as you don't pay anything if you keep within a few lbs of your target weight.
But a definite plus one to, "...you NEED to do excercise as well as diet to lose weight!". This message is just non-existent so far as I can tell. So you get all these loose-limbed, slightly flabby, very slightly overweight ladies (and the odd bloke) all thinking they're at the pinnacle of their physical prowess because their BMI just about checks out. A lot of them look like bread rolls and a heavy duty exercise session involves a 'brisk' walk to the shop. You don't have to be a toned Goddess (or God) but exercise is good, hmkaay?
tracknico 😆
Sit down for a quite romantic night in watching Big Body Squad.....you could make a few comment about the people on the telly as 3 rd party's she may get the jist.......
Buy some flour and roll her in it as fore play 😳
Ask her if she's happy?
uy some flour and roll her in it as fore play
🙄
flour rolling is a method to find the wet spot!
can any fat or fatish women on here explain why its such a no go topic?
I'll bite! The reason it's a no go topic is that the truth hurts. Far easier to ignore the problem than face it head on.
Have you read the iDave diet thread? Why not read it together? One thing that I couldn't get my head around was not eating fruit. I've always ate loads daily but I stopped and it's made a huge difference to my blood sugar levels. No longer do I feel faint from 'hunger' and of course it wasn't hunger, just those pesky blood sugar levels rising and falling.
As a child of the 60's, you very rarely saw anyone overweight. One thing I do notice now though is the number of children, either in pushchairs or older, with food stuffed in their faces or hands. To keep them quiet presumably?
The relationship with food needs to be changed. As does the price of rubbish food to stop people buying it. Cooking needs to be taught in schools and not just for one term, it shouldn't be used as entertainment on the TV.
Sit down for a quite romantic night in watching Big Body Squad.....you could make a few comment about the people on the telly as 3 rd party's she may get the jist.......
I made this mistake.
Missus points to Miss A.N.Other celbrity in Heat magazine, (forgetting that I've no idea who it is or even care)
Missus: ohhhhhh look she's put on weight, that's not pretty.
Me: (looks perplexed as to why I'd care and without thinking say) she's thinner than you.
Another bad move was to point out she's been a paid up member of a £80/month gym and £15/month weigh****chers despite not doing either in the last 6 months, so I'll spend as much as I like on bike parts thankyouverymuch.
On a bike ride to Swinley she threw a hissy fit when we turned up a hill proclaiming "this hills too f///** steep, I can't even walk up it", telling her not to swear withing earshot of the five yearold happily riding his bike up it didn't go down well.
The final straw was when I suggested that her having eaten a family bag of cheese flavour crisps in bed really was the reason we weren't about to get jiggy (I really meant the breath, but she took it otherwise and I figured as the damage was done/hole dug/bed made I may as well sleep in it and not correct her).
Once she'd finaly calmed down I said it wasn't astetic or vanity, it was a health thing and she seemed to accept it. She's been tot he gym twice this week so clearly something clicked!
wow TINAS.
you recently had your hand/wrist broken didnt you? were does that fit into the above story?