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There really is no way to sugar coat telling someone they are fat.
james
your right, i will just have to say it as it is
After my poor attempts at being funny I thought I offered some helpful suggestions.
your right, i will just have to say it as it is
Good luck old boy.
milkymani just wanted guidence on the politest lest hurtfull way of saying it
I don't think there is one. She will know anyway
Jamie - MemberThere really is no way to sugar coat telling someone they are fat.
no, sugar coating it just seems like you're adding insult to injury....
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Not like this. Telling them is not the answer, it will probably make things worse. Why have they expanded?
If they are depressed or have a low self esteem, you will almost certainly cement the chubby bricks they are stacking around themselves. If they do not understand diet/cooking then expand their horizons, if they are inactive...find something active they or you both can enjoy.
Or you could ice it on a cake while playing the following:
I got drunk on Holliday 2 years ago and asked her when she was going to loose some weight 😯 the words if you don't like it the **** off I felt very bad the next day. It's not the done thing. If you have got room get a tread mill and incorage her to use it.
I reckon if you sit there and say "you're fat, get thin", you're more likely to get a black eye for your trouble. Either that or she'll tell you she hasn't fancied you for years and she's never complained. What she'll read from that is you don't fancy her anymore, not that you're concerned about her weight.
Perhaps you should take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you're still the same guy she met.
Suggest joining some fitness classes together as your both out of shape, and do them together. Make it a couple thing, rather than about her being unattractive.
Perhaps you should take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you're still the same guy she met.
^ this
I would suggest doing some activities together. Maybe some longer walks or similar?
Alternatively, if you want a serious chat then turn things on their head and ask what *you* can do to improve the relationship. This way the emphasis isn't just on her, but be prepared to hear things you weren't expecting. And when it's your turn then try suggesting that you're worried about her health and would like her to eat a bit more healthily and be a bit more active. Actually saying she is fat is not going to do her self-esteem or relationship any good!
One other thing, you should be prepared for the response that she is aware of it, and couldn't give a toss.
This sort of thread is where STW comes into it's own...very, very funny! 😀
Start riding together. Tell her [b]you[/b] want to start eating healthily and that you'll be doing the shopping and cooking then follow that through.myou don't need anything fancy, just eat healthily, eat a little less, drink less (assuming you do drink) and excersize more. To be honest if you're thinking it she already knows.
I would probably just tell her but then i'm awfully blunt about things like this and have no sympathy for the fat.
Face it, you've probably both given up and stopped trying. The romance has started to evaporate. She probably started developing a relationship with the biscuit barrel around the time you stopped suppressing flatulence in her presence or littering the floor of the bathroom with skiddy Y-fronts.
You probably need to reset and reboot a few different things, a few bad habits that you have drifted into incrementally and imperceptibly, [i]as a couple [/i]rather than jabbing a finger in her chubby coupon and demanding the keys to the cake tin before farting, reaching into the fridge for a Stella and assuming your usual position on the couch in front of the fitba.
So, let me get this right....
Farting in front of the Mrs is [i][b]not[/b][/i] considered romantic?
neilsonwheels - Member
Joking aside I do actually like a "big" girl. Each to their own eh?
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Seriously though, there's been some great advice up there ^^^. Perhaps start off with a conversation about what makes her happy*, what might make her even happier, what she might change about herself if she could click her fingers and do it instantly.... Then suggest ways in which the pair of you can actually make this happen. You get the drift.
*If at this point, the answer is "Chips!", you're on a hiding to nothing.
my mrs just told me i was getting too big.
i got weighed and agreed with her.........and i am now over 2 stone lighter.
Ton, I had exactly the same conversation. And did the same thing.
But as a rule, men are a lot less..... Erm...... "Complex" than women in dealing with these situations.
Maybe not that big. 😯
I think the use Of the word "fat" wouldnt be advisable..
Think you just need to man up and have an honest, adult conversation about it.
No easy way else really.
Tell her by phone, explaining you can't get near enough for her to hear you anymore?
Sit down together and calmly discuss over a large meal how to reinforce her side of the bed.
You say she's doing Weight Watchers, so she obviously knows that she needs to lose weight and wants to. Try helping her out with the cooking, ask her how many points are in things, ask her how she's doing with her points allowance for the day. Does she do any exercise? If she does, then encourage her with it. If she doesn't, try and help her find some form of exercise she does enjoy. Ask her if there's anything you can do to help her stay on plan.
Failing that, mousetraps in the biscuit tin.
Failing that, mousetraps in the biscuit tin.
😆
Positive reinforcement ? Start having healthy cooking nights ? It's a sensitive issue for most women, which you clearly know. Exercising together a good idea too. Well done for caring too !
Every time you pass a slim attractive lady make sure you tell your missus how sexy they look, how great their legs look, how pert their bottom is....
Seriously its a difficult topic to discuss with your other half as you never know how they will take it (i have been there). Firstly you need to reassure her that you still find her attractive.
Finding a way to exercise together is a good way to kick start a healthier lifestyle. It needs to be something you both enjoy otherwise it will fall by the wayside.
Tricky one.
Do you have to tell her? Perhaps getting a new partner is easier?
I just told my Mrs that if she gets fat then I'm off, simples, at least she knows the score.
A bit of DIY when she pops out
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🙂 ok boys the way to let your ladies know they might be fat? NONE!! of the ways you have all suggested are right 🙂
She probably already knows, I used to weight 10.5 stone (i'm 5 foot 8 before you witter) over the last year due to a dodgy thyroid which I had half of removed, now I weight 13.5 stone, not good, so my other half and I had a chat and we went halfers on a treadmile 🙂 now I do 20 minutes of fast walking slow running every couple of days 🙂
Slow and steady I'll get this weight back off and @matt303 has been ace 🙂
Ps he showed me this thread and I said if he didnt post i would 🙂
So why are you thegoodbyegirl then 😉
Buy her some lycra bibshorts. There's no way on earth she could put them on and not know...
Then suggest you both run a marathon together for charidee* or somesuch. You'll both lose weight, you'll get in shape AND you can eat quite well when doing marathon training. Plus you'll be able to tell if you really like each other or whether to give up now - round about the 18th mile your patience starts to wear a little thin....
* I don't like to talk about it, mate
@flippinheckler 🙂 ahh thats my favorite movie starring Marsha Mason 🙂 I had to think of a nickname for a forum and the one I wanted was taken so I thought hmm what could I call myself and I had watched the movie the night before 🙂
If you are genuinely worried for her health then yes I would mention it. There are ways to approach it, just for gods sake don't take 90% of the advice off this thread, unless you enjoy having common household objects surgically removed from your arse.
As a confirmed fatty myself (actually, great idea for a photo thread on here, let's see just how super slim and lithe the piss-takers really are, form an orderly queue ladies) she probably already knows, especially if she is going to weight watchers.......there may be something else behind it. I know my partner went through some hard times a few years back and she would comfort eat, sometimes not even knowing she was continuing to do it.
Perhaps ask her if anything else is wrong at the moment before just heading straight to the "pointing out that she's put some weight on".
The other ladies on here are right, there is not a single method in the world of telling her she's fat that won't result in you wanting to put your nuts in a blender because it'll be less painful.
Try talking to her, asking her if everything is ok, you may just get fine as her answer but persevere say you're worried about her, I imagine she's not being herself.
Good luck
Scare tactics!
What about you both sit down and watch a nice vid of someone having liposuction whilst she eats her favourite fatty snack...?
Its hard to approach anything personal with your loved one that may offend or upset her, I always urged Mrs FH to get a hobby (partly to stop her moaning about me going biking) she used to get really ratty about any suggestions, I said try Pilates, or yoga not because she was getting fat, cause she is very slim but to give her something more than the kids & I. She took up Yoga about 6 weeks ago and so did 2 of her friend when she mentioned she was going to Yoga, the reason she started was because she was feeling emotional and anxious and her Dr said it may help, she loves going to Yoga and is becoming more toned as a result.
Is your wife happy, is she perhaps a bit bored (no reflection on you or your relationship)
Try watching a pron film full of fatties..
No, seriously.. It's a tough subject but you have to be honest, subtle, but honest. There's never a good moment, so why not make that moment now..
My partner before MrsBouy was always going on about being overweight (she wasn't BTW, healthy size 12) It got sooo boooooring to listen to it and the "I'll do something about it" banter that I stopped listening and encouraging, the relationship didn't last long after that.
Be honest.
Ohh and the guy whose in an (almost) relationship with a "large girl" don't play up, don't lead her on.. be honest if it ain't right for you then end it, but you seem to be ok with it as is or you'd have done something about it by now.
You need to ride more. Then eat all the food in the house so she can't. It is your duty.
crikey - Member
So, let me get this right....Farting in front of the Mrs is not considered romantic?
Of course it's not romantic. LADIES FIRST, you divvy. 🙄
Double dose of Picolax, job done. 😯
Chase her with a big stick.