as the title suggest, how do you tell some one you love they are getting fat(quite fat to be honest) with out hurting them]
Gets biscuits (hides them from OP's wife)
Link them to this thread?
So, if you live in Marple Bridge, and are married to a milkman called Craig...LAY OFF THE PIES!
send them a text
Buy her some trainers?
You don't think they know?
Buy them a mirror & some scales !
Offer to do something active together, or take on more of the cooking/shopping duties? Or when they buy new clothing, ask what's wrong with the old stuff. "how come you never wear that dress anymore"
If you've noticed then the chances are that he or she has noticed well before you. Don't do or say anything.
You can't, just be honest with her.
You don't think they know?
Here we go...
You could always get on with you own perfect life and let them get on with theirs?
Get her to go on a bogtrotters ride and Simon will show her big butt to the world!
leave the nhs BMI calculator open on the laptop?
or this chart?
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what ever way you tell them it WILL be your fault 😯
joking aside it all depends on what type of relationship you have as to how to approach this, only you can decided this as you know your partner.
Buy a 'Save the Whale' sticker for their underwear drawer?
mr grim
i think your right, very akward topic, love her to bits and she must have noticed, she eats chocalate like its going out of fashion, then goes to weight watchers, my approch is this blunt as i am
you eat to much excercise not at all and your getting fat, i love you but you need to do somthing about it or im of
i get pig noises from the kids when I'm eating too much..wouldn't hurt to try that?!
i dont have a perfect life far from it and i do like my food, but ALL things in moderation, i just was trying not to be to hash
Go to the park and play on the seesaw?
On the plus side no one else is going to want to s**g it unless they are a chubby chaser.
i love you but you need to do somthing about it or im off
Tell me you're having a laugh...
Make beeping noises when she walks backwards .
Buy a trombone and play it when ever she moves.
Arrange for builders to come round to quote for widening the doors.
Everytime she sits on the sofa/gets in bed, pretend to be flung up in the air.
Um...ok, i'm all out of mean 'funny' responses.
In reality I'm not sure...me and the wife joke about our flabby stomachs (although neither of us are fat really, just getting older). I'm not sure how I would tell my wife that she's getting less attractive cos she fat.
Perhaps tell her that you're lookin for local gyms for you two to go to as you think your BOTH out of shape (rather than singling her out), although this only works if you are also slightly out of shape.
Or you could subtly suggest going through your old clothes for charity shops, and ask her if some
of her clothes from a few years ago still fit...that might five you an opening to discuss her weight.
Alternatively, bite the bullet and say "you're getting fat, and I don't fancy you as much as I used to, could you think about eating less and exercising more?".
As was mentioned, she probably already knows.
Buy her some really expensive undercrackers, two sizes too small. Then tell her you'd have bought a 'G' string but you were worried she'd look like a joint of rolled pork.
Buy a trombone and play it when ever she moves
Superb!
Joking aside I do actually like a "big" girl. Each to their own eh.
I wouldn't have any problem telling my misses at all. If your that close to somebody there are no barriers are there? She tells me im fat and even insults my mother by saying shes a fat pig. You should be able to be straight with each other. If you have only just got together then thats different.
'AAVE A SALAAAAAHHHHD
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nielsonwheels earlier today 😀
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teasel, i am having a laugh, i wouldnt leave her for the world, i love her to bits just want to tell her that she is ..fat for the want of a better word
😀
Make oinking, snorting pig like noises whenever she walks in the room?
No?
Important thing is does she know she is over weight and if so does it bother her.?
only watch programmes on the subject?
you come on a forum with a serious question and all you get is tbh is how to insult youu better half, not what i expected
If she is genuinely overeating then you need to ask her why. Is she unhappy? Anything different in her demeanour?
my mrs just told me i was getting too big.
i got weighed and agreed with her.........and i am now over 2 stone lighter.
fat people know that they are fat trust me. it is just bad habits and lazyness that stops us from doing the right thing.
saviours like Idave and Solo are here to show us the way..... 😀
Well, in my wife's case, she just spanks my ass and shouts "watch that blubber fly".
She knows, you need to help make the changes in both your lifestyles to help her sort it.
My gf is by no means fat but she thinks she is, i got her started on a road bike last year and this year she is doing a divina's divas charity ride as a challenge. she has really enjoyed it
Can you do the cooking? say you fancy going on a diet, sick of eating fatty manky food makes you feel unhealthy
Both go to pilates classes together?
i'm no lady expert but on the tv don't they always eat when they are unhappy.....
you come on a forum with a serious question and all you get is tbh is how to insult youu better half, not what i expected
You must be new here.
i am having a laugh, i wouldnt leave her for the world
Good oh! Always hard to be certain on forums...
Buy a tuba, learn to play it in secret. Then follow her round doing a simple bom bom bom song. She'll get the idea..
Sorry to Hijack
difficult one this im somewhere at the oposite end of the issue . but I have been friends with this woman for years and we have allways had a thing. she is smart, sucessfull (70k a year job) Interesting , Kind, caring giving & would make good wife material .she wants to get together propperly but i have an issue. She is far from unatractive, but she is a little overweight and heavier set, call me shallow but i just dont get that sexual spark from her and that worries me, so much so that have actualy got the droop whilst engaged in it with her.
I have allways had relationships with Slim or Skinny women thats what floats my boat. I could have a great life with this lady but i Just dont fancy her ..and for me good sex is a huge part of any sucessfull relationship ..
Dont know weather to just be straight with her or **** it off !
for all you fellas out there that have super slim, fit women in you life your very lucky to have not had ask this question but one day you might, or she might even be thinking it about you
i just wanted guidence on the politest lest hurtfull way of saying it
There really is no way to sugar coat telling someone they are fat.
james
your right, i will just have to say it as it is
After my poor attempts at being funny I thought I offered some helpful suggestions.
your right, i will just have to say it as it is
Good luck old boy.
milkymani just wanted guidence on the politest lest hurtfull way of saying it
I don't think there is one. She will know anyway
Jamie - MemberThere really is no way to sugar coat telling someone they are fat.
no, sugar coating it just seems like you're adding insult to injury....
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Not like this. Telling them is not the answer, it will probably make things worse. Why have they expanded?
If they are depressed or have a low self esteem, you will almost certainly cement the chubby bricks they are stacking around themselves. If they do not understand diet/cooking then expand their horizons, if they are inactive...find something active they or you both can enjoy.
Or you could ice it on a cake while playing the following:
I got drunk on Holliday 2 years ago and asked her when she was going to loose some weight 😯 the words if you don't like it the **** off I felt very bad the next day. It's not the done thing. If you have got room get a tread mill and incorage her to use it.
I reckon if you sit there and say "you're fat, get thin", you're more likely to get a black eye for your trouble. Either that or she'll tell you she hasn't fancied you for years and she's never complained. What she'll read from that is you don't fancy her anymore, not that you're concerned about her weight.
Perhaps you should take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you're still the same guy she met.
Suggest joining some fitness classes together as your both out of shape, and do them together. Make it a couple thing, rather than about her being unattractive.
Perhaps you should take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you're still the same guy she met.
^ this
I would suggest doing some activities together. Maybe some longer walks or similar?
Alternatively, if you want a serious chat then turn things on their head and ask what *you* can do to improve the relationship. This way the emphasis isn't just on her, but be prepared to hear things you weren't expecting. And when it's your turn then try suggesting that you're worried about her health and would like her to eat a bit more healthily and be a bit more active. Actually saying she is fat is not going to do her self-esteem or relationship any good!
One other thing, you should be prepared for the response that she is aware of it, and couldn't give a toss.
This sort of thread is where STW comes into it's own...very, very funny! 😀
Start riding together. Tell her [b]you[/b] want to start eating healthily and that you'll be doing the shopping and cooking then follow that through.myou don't need anything fancy, just eat healthily, eat a little less, drink less (assuming you do drink) and excersize more. To be honest if you're thinking it she already knows.
I would probably just tell her but then i'm awfully blunt about things like this and have no sympathy for the fat.
Face it, you've probably both given up and stopped trying. The romance has started to evaporate. She probably started developing a relationship with the biscuit barrel around the time you stopped suppressing flatulence in her presence or littering the floor of the bathroom with skiddy Y-fronts.
You probably need to reset and reboot a few different things, a few bad habits that you have drifted into incrementally and imperceptibly, [i]as a couple [/i]rather than jabbing a finger in her chubby coupon and demanding the keys to the cake tin before farting, reaching into the fridge for a Stella and assuming your usual position on the couch in front of the fitba.
So, let me get this right....
Farting in front of the Mrs is [i][b]not[/b][/i] considered romantic?
neilsonwheels - Member
Joking aside I do actually like a "big" girl. Each to their own eh?
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Seriously though, there's been some great advice up there ^^^. Perhaps start off with a conversation about what makes her happy*, what might make her even happier, what she might change about herself if she could click her fingers and do it instantly.... Then suggest ways in which the pair of you can actually make this happen. You get the drift.
*If at this point, the answer is "Chips!", you're on a hiding to nothing.
my mrs just told me i was getting too big.
i got weighed and agreed with her.........and i am now over 2 stone lighter.
Ton, I had exactly the same conversation. And did the same thing.
But as a rule, men are a lot less..... Erm...... "Complex" than women in dealing with these situations.
Maybe not that big. 😯
I think the use Of the word "fat" wouldnt be advisable..
Think you just need to man up and have an honest, adult conversation about it.
No easy way else really.
Tell her by phone, explaining you can't get near enough for her to hear you anymore?
Sit down together and calmly discuss over a large meal how to reinforce her side of the bed.
You say she's doing Weight Watchers, so she obviously knows that she needs to lose weight and wants to. Try helping her out with the cooking, ask her how many points are in things, ask her how she's doing with her points allowance for the day. Does she do any exercise? If she does, then encourage her with it. If she doesn't, try and help her find some form of exercise she does enjoy. Ask her if there's anything you can do to help her stay on plan.
Failing that, mousetraps in the biscuit tin.
Failing that, mousetraps in the biscuit tin.
😆
Positive reinforcement ? Start having healthy cooking nights ? It's a sensitive issue for most women, which you clearly know. Exercising together a good idea too. Well done for caring too !
Every time you pass a slim attractive lady make sure you tell your missus how sexy they look, how great their legs look, how pert their bottom is....
Seriously its a difficult topic to discuss with your other half as you never know how they will take it (i have been there). Firstly you need to reassure her that you still find her attractive.
Finding a way to exercise together is a good way to kick start a healthier lifestyle. It needs to be something you both enjoy otherwise it will fall by the wayside.
Tricky one.
Do you have to tell her? Perhaps getting a new partner is easier?
I just told my Mrs that if she gets fat then I'm off, simples, at least she knows the score.
A bit of DIY when she pops out
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🙂 ok boys the way to let your ladies know they might be fat? NONE!! of the ways you have all suggested are right 🙂
She probably already knows, I used to weight 10.5 stone (i'm 5 foot 8 before you witter) over the last year due to a dodgy thyroid which I had half of removed, now I weight 13.5 stone, not good, so my other half and I had a chat and we went halfers on a treadmile 🙂 now I do 20 minutes of fast walking slow running every couple of days 🙂
Slow and steady I'll get this weight back off and @matt303 has been ace 🙂
Ps he showed me this thread and I said if he didnt post i would 🙂
So why are you thegoodbyegirl then 😉
Buy her some lycra bibshorts. There's no way on earth she could put them on and not know...
Then suggest you both run a marathon together for charidee* or somesuch. You'll both lose weight, you'll get in shape AND you can eat quite well when doing marathon training. Plus you'll be able to tell if you really like each other or whether to give up now - round about the 18th mile your patience starts to wear a little thin....
* I don't like to talk about it, mate