Balls to the World Cup? Here are 28 bike things that take 90 minutes

by 11

We’ve got a lot of thoughts and ideas about how we’d like to spend 90 minutes that don’t involve watching Association Football.

Not interested in watching people kick a ball around an air conditioned stadium in the desert that’s been built by migrant workers in dangerous conditions in a country that’s spent $220 billion on making this spectacle of human folly happen?

$220 billion is enough to buy 13,333,333 ebikes at £14k each. Or 1,560,283,687 Buffalo Bikes at £120 each. Just so you know. Even if you discount the $36 billion that went into the Doha metro – probably a desirable mass transit sort of thing to have – there are still a lot of things you could do with $184 billion.

Here are some other things you could do in 90 minutes or less.

1. Ride a mountain bike

Simples. Get on, pedal.

2. Change to winter tyres

Stop putting it off. It’ll be spring before you bother at this rate.

3. Reproof your waterproof clothing

Imagine how glad you’ll be next wet rid.

4. Do a core body workout

Being strong is good, it helps when you crash.

5. Hygiene wash your smelliest kit

Your friends will thank you.

6. Replace your sealant

Be sure to send us a pic if you find a really good blob monster in there.

7. Practice your wheelies

If only you’d wasted your youth, you wouldn’t need to.

8. Wax your chain

Or your moustache, or your legs.

9. Ride Zwift while watching football, if you really must

If you really like punishment and torture.

10. Sterilise your hydration bladder

Mmm…mouldy water.

11. Build a shoe drying rack for over your radiator

A couple of drill-free brackets, a quick shelf construction, and your shoes won’t fall off the radiator while they dry.

12. Take stuff to a bike recycler

Find a local community bike project and donate your old stuff.

13. Check your first aid kit

Be ready for when you need it.

14. Grease your pedals and seat post

You’ll thank yourself later.

15. Go and rake / shovel / scrape / de-sludge your trails

Tame those puddles and trim those brambles, you good citizen you.

16. List spare things on the Singletrack Classifieds

Make space and money.

17. Practice your bunny hops

Useful for both stick and snake encounters.

18. Empty and repack your ride pack

We hope you don’t find a lost banana.

19. Check all the bolts on your bike

So. Many. Different. Sized. Heads.

20. Set up a light charging station

Prime organised night riding readiness.

21. Make some tasty trail snacks

Don’t eat them until you’re on the trail.

22. Put your tools away

Next time you tighten all those bolts, you’ll be able to find all the tools you need.

23. Do a trail clean/litter pick

Tell Trash Free Trails what you find.

24. Read an issue of Singletrack Magazine

Will probably take you more than 90 minutes and well past overtime. Join us by 25th November and you’ll get the December issue in full, plus free calendar, and can immediately started reading pdf copies of all our back issues.

25. Do a brake bleed

Bubble bubble, boil and trouble.

26. Replace worn cleats

Clunk click every trip.

27. Drivetrain de-black/deep clean

What the heck even is that stuff?

28. Fit new brake pads

Now go and bed them in properly

29. Clean your bathroom grouting

Still actually more appealing than footerball.

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Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
  • Balls to the World Cup? Here are 28 bike things that take 90 minutes
  • the00
    Free Member

    Chain smegma?

    Bruce
    Full Member

    I have another one. I drove from Manchester to Liverpool to dipose of my out of date flare collection. My garage is safer as a result!

    kelvin
    Full Member

    I drove from Manchester to Liverpool to dipose of my out of date flare collection.

    Didn’t fancy sticking them up your arse then?

    [ that’s a football fan reference, I’m not trying to be insulting ]

    29 made me laugh. Twice.

    IdleJon
    Full Member

    I drove from Manchester to Liverpool to dipose of my out of date flare collection.

    Hippy!

    Bruce
    Full Member

    Yep I am old enough to have worn flares.
    Hangs head in shame, looks contrite.

    Bruce
    Full Member

    Sticking a parachute flare up your posterior might not go well!

    fpdave
    Full Member

    Long commute in the pouring rain – still more fun than watching football!!

    thols2
    Free Member

    90 minutes for a brake bleed! Really?

    jodafett
    Full Member

    90 minutes for a brake bleed! Really?

    My brake bleeds usually go to extra time!

    mtbfix
    Full Member

    Maybe add ‘fit a tyre insert’. Recent experience suggests that’s easily 90mins.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    29. Clean your bathroom grouting
    Still actually more appealing than footerball.

    True dat.

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)

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