Sporting Misconceptions and Befuddlement

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Sometimes we get some very random news releases in our inbox, and here’s one we thought might give you a giggle.

So, apparently a company called Chillisauce conducted the research ‘as part of an ongoing study into Britons’ understanding of popular sports within the UK, with a particular focus on top keywords, phrases and terms used in sport commentary.’

So far so dull, right? Read on…

The study provided all respondents with a list of common sport terms, as well as non-sport related terms, and asked them to select from a choice of three possible definitions that best defined the word or phrase that they had been shown. (No respondent was aware that the study had the main purpose of looking at their sporting knowledge, which is why they were provided with both sporting and non-sporting related answers to choose from.  2,176 Britons aged 18 and over took part and there was an equal number of men and women taking part in the survey.)

Yawn. Stay awake in statistics class, people…
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The most commonly misinterpreted sports terms by Britons are revealed as follows. The actual definitions, shown in brackets below, were not presented to the respondents at the time of taking the survey [Although we presume that they were one of the three options? – Ed]:

  1. Mixed doubles (both teams within a competition include men and women) – a single drink that contains two different alcohol spirits (62%)
  2. Grand slam (winning all matches against all opponents in one tournament) – a style of shooting a ball through a basketball hoop (57%)
  3. The offside rule (being closer to the opponent’s’ goal than the ball and the second last opponent) – stepping outside of the marked pitch (44%)
  4. Bail (One of the two small pieces of wood that lie on top of the stumps to form the wicket) – Leaving your friends early on a night out (43%)
  5. Backhand (a racket sport stroke where the back of the hand faces the direction of the stroke) – to compliment someone’s sporting technique, but not really mean it (41%)
  6. A dummy (tricking your sporting opponent into thinking you’re going to make a pass) – a person that stands in for another if they are unable to perform (37%)
  7. The offensive side (the sports team with control of the ball) – a team that has offended the referee (35%)
  8. Play-off (an extra match to determine which sports team is going to win the tournament) – when two people compete to see who can get the most attention from the opposite sex (30%)
  9. Debenture (a certificate of agreement allowing fans to have a financial stake in a sports club) – false teeth (22%)
  10. Sandbagging (when a sports player purposefully misrepresents and downplays their abilities) – a sexual act (16%)

It was worth getting to number ten, right?

Test Quiz Exam

So, here’s a quick mountain bike lingo quiz, because we know you’re looking for distractions from whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.

Shred
a) something you do to a lettuce
b) something you find in proper marmalade
c) what you think you do when you go out on your bike

Gnar
a) What pirates say
b) A tricky bit of trail that makes you feel a bit scared but cool if you clear it
c) A type of bark used in herbal remedies

Rad
a) Amazing
b) Plumbers’ shorthand for radiator
c) What you aspire to be

Stack
a) What you do to the wood you’re carefully collecting for winter
b) What you’ve got when your cash won’t fit in your wallet
c) A crash, usually worthy of capture on a GoPro.

Did you get them all right? Do you have any better suggestions? Go on, tell us below and amuse us all.

Hannah Dobson

Hannah came to Singletrack having decided there must be more to life than meetings. Having worked in policy and project management roles at the Scottish Parliament and in local government, Hannah had organisational skills that SIngletrack needed. She also likes bikes, and likes to write.

Hannah likes all bikes, but especially unusual ones. If it’s a bit odd, or a bit niche, or made of metal, she’s probably going to get excited. If it gets her down some steep stuff, all the better. She’ll give most things a go once, she tries not to say no to anything on a bike, unless she really thinks it’s going to hurt. She’s pretty good with steri-strips.

More than bikes, Hannah likes what bikes do. She thinks that they link people and places; that cycling creates a connection between us and our environment; bikes create communities; deliver freedom; bring joy; and improve fitness. They're environmentally friendly and create friendly environments.

Hannah tries to write about all these things in the hope that others might discover the joy of bikes too.

Comments (3)

    Dobbing
    a) Something from Harry Potter stories
    b) Putting your foot down on a technical climb but claiming you cleared it.
    c) Spending the remains of the group drinking kitty because you are broke.

    Power wheelie
    a) A yoga pose
    b) Something Jeremy Clarkson says
    c) Furious pedaling while keeping front wheel aloft (expert mode)

    Dday. Linguistic diversity here. For me, dobbing is telling on your mates when they’ve been naughty and were hoping to get away with it. Dabbing would be (b) in my lingo.

    Stoked
    a) Shovelling coal.
    b) Jolly pleased with yourself.
    c) Accidentally taken a long draw on one of Billybobs special cigarettes.

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