Fresh Goods Friday 293

Good morning, lovely people! And true to the spirit of inclusion, I also feel duty bound to add, good afternoon, Mr/Ms Grumpytrousers (delete as applicable).

As the sun is out/it’s raining/the snow is totes mental/oh my god the hail/the atmosphere has been sucked into a supermassive black hole which has appeared over Croydon, let’s not speculate too hard about the future (especially if you live in Croydon).

Instead, procrastinate before going out/finding your raincoat/woolly hat/protective helmet/spacesuit by pointing your browser at the following photos of glorious bikeutide and stare longingly at what will never/soon/imminently/already is, actually be yours before nipping out for a ride/bun/priest/to experience the reality of spaghettification.

It’s Fresh Goods Friday!

Specialized Enduro Expert Carbon 29

Price: £4,500

From: Specialized

This mighty behemoth is an XL Enduro 29 for a forthcoming biketest. It frankly looks like a stylishly painted carbon monster. That mainframe is made from FACT carbon, apparently. FACT.

There’s a carbon SRAM chainset (custom, it says here), installed on a press-fit BB.

And that shock yields 155mm of travel. Which on a 29er is verging on ridiculous. And what’s that shock? Oh yes…

…it’s an Öhlins STX22. Single tube, 3rd chamber air spring technology with adjustable compression and rebound. That last bit I understood. The 3rd chamber bit I cribbed from the website, if I’m honest. More will become clear shortly… Still, these shocks have quite the reputation.

An alloy back end, with a horst link. Specialized have used a variation of the same suspension design for around 20 years. If if ain’t broke etc.

A Pike up front, natch. This one has 160mm of travel.

Guide RS brakes (200mm F, 180mm R) slow down Butcher and Slaughter rubber on Roval wheels – with 24 F and 28 R spokes, spokefans

That there is a Henge Expert saddle with Ti rails. It’s mounted atop a Command Post with 125mm of up and down action. Um.

A 60mm stem holds aloft a pair of alloy 780mm bars. The whole shebang comes in at around 28lbs.

Cycliq Fly 12

Price: £249

From: Cycliq

A 400 lumen light, coupled with a 1080p camera, with looping video, so you’ve always got evidence of that idiot in the passat, or the time that Wilf did that ‘larious whip. 10 hour battery life too, and it safely sits on a gopro style mount.

SQ Labs 611 Active Carbon

Price: €199.96

From: SQ Lab

More saddle-shaped goodness from SQ Lab. This is similar to the 611 active we’ve had for a month or two (review coming soon, folks) – 3 different widths, and in the back are interchangeable elastomers to tailor the amount of cosseting your delicate heinie experiences.

SQ Labs 611 Ergowave Active LP

Price: €149.95

From: SQ Lab

From the website: “more ergonomically aggressive seating position on the road and mountain bike”. It’s based on similar principles to the 611 up there but it looks different, and there’s different padding. Same back high, front low, scoop for the delicates stuff going on though. Many different widths available, and 3 different elastomer stiffnesses to correspond to arse-sensitivity/pertness.

Acre Traverse XC Shorts

Price: $165

From: Acre

We like short shorts. Eschewing the apparently *so* 2015 long and baggy fit, these nombers go for the tailored fit. They come with a fully adjustable waist belt, zippered cargo pockets, and a gusseted inseam. Chipps’ knees will be on full display in a woods near you, SOON!

Big Agnes Ultra Aircore Insulated mattress

Price: $89.95 – $129.95

From: Big Agnes

Sleeping mattress all the way from the YOOO ESSS AAAYY. Largre external tubes, ripstop this and smooth that and ideal for your luxury bikepacking adventures. But really, although it looks comfy, it’s not that over the top. I once met a couple (in Mexico) who were bicycle touring with a small oven, two luxury deck chairs, and a gazebo. I’ll say again – a GAZEBO. I mean, what?

Canyon Strive Al 6.0

Price: £2,299

From: Canyon

160mm of adjusta-gnar from Canyon. Shapeshifter tech means adjustable geometry and travel, so it steepens to climb and relaaaaxes to descend. As should we all.

Green for go! Black for – er – also go, but down!

Monarch Plus RC3 Debonair bounce on the back, and (you guessed it)

Mr Pike up front. Oh yes.

SRAM GX does the messing-about-with-chain-thing with aplomb.

There’s a neat little mrp chain device too.

DT Swiss wheels with ratchet hubs, too. Like the ratchet, we does.

Islabikes Beinn 20 Large

Price: £349.99

From: Islabikes

20″ aluminium kids bike Rich bought (with real money) for – er – his kid, we assume. Fits 6+ (there’s also a small one which fits 5+ apparently)

7 speed in a so-hot-right-now 1x configuration. Front mechs are dead.

But still keeping it old school with the v-brake stoppers. Sahweet.

Oxford Chain 10, Anchor 14 and Anchor 10

Price: £39.99, £34.99 and £19.99 respectively

From: Oxford Products

Stuff to prevent your bike being nicked, hopefully. Or at least giving the scrotes who would do away with it as hard a time as possible whilst doing so. A couple of ground anchors, and a gert big chain and lock to attach to them.

Restrap Bar Bag Holster and Pouch, Frame Bag (small) and Saddle Bag Holster

Price: £74.98, £39.99 and £84.99 respectively

From: Restrap

Bike packing gear from West Yorkshire-based Restrap, which is with tester Lara. The bar bag pouch uses a patented magnetic buckle apparently, which can also be used with gloves on. The whole lot falls under Restrap’s #carryeverything aegis.

And we’re done for this week! All that remains is to foist upon you some delectable tuneage – sort of like the soundtrack to the video collage they used to put at the end of every TDF episode on the telly box. I think they still do, but I must confess I haven’t been quite as vociferous in my watching since it came to Yorkshire and I got to literally metaphotically lick cider out of Wiggos armpit. Anyhow, I digress. Here’s the first slice of awesome (yes, there are two this week, you luck things!)

And now, if that was a little over the top, try this – it’s lovely:

ST out.

Barney Marsh

Barney Marsh takes the word ‘career’ literally, veering wildly across the road of his life, as thoroughly in control as a goldfish on the dashboard of a motorhome. He’s been, with varying degrees of success, a scientist, teacher, shop assistant, binman and, for one memorable day, a hospital laundry worker. These days, he’s a dad, husband, guitarist, and writer, also with varying degrees of success. He sometimes takes photographs. Some of them are acceptable. Occasionally he rides bikes to cast the rest of his life into sharp relief. Or just to ride through puddles. Sometimes he writes about them. Bikes, not puddles. He is a writer of rongs, a stealer of souls and a polisher of turds. He isn’t nearly as clever or as funny as he thinks he is.

Comments (3)

billoddiebilloddie May 20, 2016 at 11:45 am

That Enduro is so big it makes the 29er wheels look like 26ers.

Neal TaylorNeal Taylor May 20, 2016 at 12:50 pm

I have been unable to process the article due to the tears of laughter running out of my optical veiwers from the introduction alone.

spiderdanspiderdan May 22, 2016 at 9:27 pm

Don’t buy a Canyon. My Shapeshifter broke on 9th Sept last year and Canyon have still not managed to get their act together and fix it

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