Angry? Try ranting in bad poetry

by Dave Anderson 9

And somewhere out there a driver builds into such a knot of impotent rage he has to express himself in poetry, badly.

Very badly.

Here’s Ian Fraser’s effort as published in the Lymington Times:

Cyclists who turn out in their lycra suits

Intent on crying out their favourite pursuits

Often come into the New Forest completely care free

Yet not for the scenery to enjoy or see

Riding main routes causing traffic to brake

Leaving motorists seething in their wake

Horse riders also look on with disdain

For when cyclists mass they can be a pain

They single-mindedly state their right to ride

Contempt for others they do not hide

This attitude at once began to swell

When banned from a pub because they smell

This local bad feeling they could solve

By adopting considerate riding as their resolve

Not gathering like a biblical plague of toads

Causing havoc to folk and Forest roads

Thanks to @bierebelle for letting us share this joy.

Seen better? (or worse?) Share that sucker with us…

Comments (9)

  1. There once was a man called Ian Fraser,
    Whose poems required an eraser
    His rhythmic unstyle
    Was just nimbyist bile
    So he can **** off, the ****.

  2. He’s right, next year, lets all use our cars rather than our bikes in the New Forest and see how he likes that………….

  3. Oh dear, we smell, and drivers have to use their brake pedals. He probably hates dogs and traffic lights too.

    Moron.

  4. lol… What Northwind wrote…. Can you send that riposte to the Lymington Times please?

  5. Scansion is utterly terrible. 2/10 – see me after class.

  6. Following extract lifted from http://www.lymington.org where several “local” bike hire businesses are featured….
    “There are many activities to try out within reasonable travelling distance from Lymington.
    The most popular activity in the New Forest is cycling with many level miles of well-maintained and signposted trails. The largest cycle hire is along the south side of Brockenhurst station.
    Also the New Forest is one of the most popular places in the country for horse riding.”
    edit suggestion …. New Forest is one of the most popular places in the country for doggerel spouting nimbyistic tosspots.

  7. I take it this guy doesn’t brake for horse riders then?

  8. The Lymington Times looks superb! I admire that they’ve seen no reason to update the font and layout since, at a guess, 1976.

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