I'm like Bol, I broke the side of my humerous off in 2001, and the impact it caused on our family life made it too complicated to do the same again!
I do have to remind myself of this when in a bunch and we start off down a nice inviting downhill!
It's very frustrating to realise that I have to be a grown up!
I got knocked off 2km into a 50km race resulting in a broken thumb and various nasty cuts and bruises, got back on to finish the race, somewhere in the top 30% of GC if I remember.
Another was a 30mph tumble on the road which threw me down the road resulting in this damage to the bike.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/think180/3217750376/
Went home, changed bikes, went for a teo hour ride. I was stiff as buggery the next day, mind.
MTFU. 
After 12 years of various cosmetic knocks, scapes cuts and grazes I did this last September: 
Excuse the pirate face.
Unconscious for a few minutes, blood everywhere from two head lacerations. Smashed in helmet and a couple of K damage to the bike. I rag-dolled down the trail about 20-25ft.
Walked off the hill not really knowing where I was and 6 stiches later I was home at 4 in the morning. Family were saying I was pretty out of it for about a week before I became more normal.
I thought I got away with just the cosmetic stuff, but its since become apparent in my job that I'm more irritable, struggle with loud noise and have an appalling short term memory - all symptoms of a minor brain injury. All in, I think I was pretty lucky.
Fractured skull, broken wrist, died on route to hospital in ambulance (was resuscitated obviously) was in hospital for 5 days and I still (10 years ago) cannot remember a thing.
Most dramatic was a run in with a car on Thursday which trashed the bike, had me landing on the car roof then sliding off again, and drew crowds of worried observers. But physically I've got away from it with a mild head injury and bruising, didn't even go to hospital (although I have seen a gp since).
Most painful and embarrassing was the time I crashed on the 200m stretch of road between the car park and the trail, breaking a couple of ribs and buggering up my shoulder. No reason for it really, smooth road, car sitting behind me patiently waiting for room to overtake, but I was looking out for the turn and trying to brake and indicate all at the same time and just lost it.
Over the bars after finding a big rock in the way on landing a 2ft drop, hit the ground really hard. Shattered helmet, out cold for over an hour before someone came along and found me. Didn't know I'd been knocked out, so sorted myself out, discovering I'd dislocated my right shoulder, broken my nose and removed half the skin off my chin. Helped to get my shoulder back in, then rode back to the car, got cleaned up and drove home. Managed to get home but shock set in as I tried to get out of the car. Neighbour helped me get out and put the bike away, then ran me into hospital. Turns out I'd also broken my jaw, ruptured a disc in my lower back and shattered most of my right wrist. Kept in overnight to be patched up, where they noticed I was drifting in and out of consciousness and not remembering stuff. Rushed off for a brain scan, found severe swelling at the front. Had to go back and live with the parents while I recouperated.
A year on, I've a changed personality (less averse to risk, less chatty), can't have a drink without getting severe headaches for days and can't remember anything between 2002 and 2004.
motox2k, you beat me - i didn't break my wrist! 
Road crash descending Mount Etna; I don't really recall what happened I just woke up in hospital a very unhappy bunny, but I guess my front wheel washed out seemingly on a straightish bit?? Took the impact on my face breaking my nose, jaw and cheek bone. I lost 9 teeth, and a lot of skin from a variety of parts of my body. The hospital did a great job putting me all back together, and after a further nose job and some rather expensive dental work my new smile is actually far better than my old one 
This was about 9 years ago; I had about 5 months off the bike, as I could take being rattled about without head and dental pain and once back on it did take me about 18 months to get back into racing fully committed, and every now and again when descending at speed I do have to 'have a word' with myself to make sure I keep fully on the gas.
2007 crashed crossing Rocky waterbar in chatel, didn't unclip, tore ankle ligaments.
2009 On "10%" on le pleney, lost front, crashed, didnt unclip, broke end off tibia. Had it pinned in Geneva.
Now ride flats...
2011 Really innocuous fall on penmachno, landed with elbow square on a rock. Broke off end (elecronon), tore off tricep ligament, needed surgery to re attach. Had left pads at home... 
2013 already planning a broken collarbone based on ongoing form!
The Canyon in Les Arcs I ended up at the top of a steep descent at the end. My mates appeared at the bottom after I returned back into the woods thinking "cricky, that's steep". I simply thought that the steep descent I had looked at was the way out and if my mates had done it, unscathed, it must be ok.
They beckoned me down so I rode it.
Part way down I saw a ditch at the bottom that I considered to be death itself. I was never going to ride over it. The track was too steep to stop on so I got off.
I landed in said ditch of death, shoulder first.
As I lay there, in agony thanking my lucky stars that I hadn't lost my looks, or teeth, I saw a group emerge out the trail down this sweet looking bermed trail to the right of where I emerged.
I asked my mates why they didn't tell me about that exit. They said then that was the way they came out!
Still laying in the death ditch, a Scotch bloke emerged where I had a few moments earlier. His mate beckoned him down, I tried to convince him not too, fearing he may bail and land on me.
He rode the drop on his 8" monster DH bike and stayed on, just. The ditch of death was thwarted but it did claim his £80 front wheel, oil seals in his forks and his fork oil.
We rolled down to Les Arcs together, me to the hospital, him to the bike shop. He bumped along on his seriously flattened rim, me with an arm hanging uselessly with me wondering how on earth I was oing to wipe my arse for the next few months.
Ends up I tore all the ligaments in my shoulder. It took 4 months before I could mountain bike again.
Thankfully, this happened on the last day of my first Alps holiday at about 3pm. It could have been worse.
theflatboy, my hand was backwards on my arm 
Night riding, lost it on a techy bit going v.quick, broke a couple of saplings before hitting a big one with my kidney and stopping.
Kidney only half working for a week or two so not clearing infections very well, scratch on ear lead to massive abscess in middle of muscle in neck, mis-diagnosed about 6 times by different doctors, leading to septicemia and finally being sent to hospital for emergency surgery.
I was later told I had about 24 hours, if it hadn't been cut out as the rest of my body had pretty much shutdown, don't remember much of it.
I'm happy to say I don't have any stories worthy of this thread, but do now feel a bit queasy
I still remember holding onto the bar rail of the bed in the middle of the night and finding my hand on something hard and crusted (previous patients poo?)- anyway with the realisation and a visual check I still held on as it was the last thing on my mind. Then there was the lady in the bed next to me crying out for help then from what I gather slipping away.
Broke my arm doing something similar to t he OP in Spain*.
*I think, I remember taking off, and vaguely remmber landing, but can't remember if i came up short or overjumped it, I'm guessing the latter as I was thinking SPEED SPEED SPEED JUMP after the guide told me you had to do the (big) drop before it to maintain enough speed and I took the ckicken run round it.
My Worst incident I don't actually know precisely what happened.
I was 17 at the time, I left my then Girlfriends house at about 20:30 and turned up at home ~1.5 hours later (it was only a 10 minute journey), I quietly put my bike (with forks bent backwards sufficient to lock up the canti brakes) in the shed and went up to my room, My sister apparently worked out from a rather circular conversation that all was not well, I got kept for a night under observation (which again I have no memory of)... I assume I either hit something or someone hit me and buggered off, I had no helmet on (not something I do these days) and both the staps on my rucksack were snapped off, suggesting I stopped reasonably quickly and the inertia was enough for thebag to carry on and shear its straps (I must have carried that home too) ...
Luckiest escape was massively over-jumping the bottom table at UK bikepark, landing front wheel down perpendicular to the ground and only being winded, by rights I should have at least broken my collar bone, it was a good 15ft up/30ft long jump to faceplant at speed, and it definately affected my confidence with jumps and General DH riding, despite being a relatively consequence free incident...
Got slightly off line at the bottom of a short but steep descent at Woburn. The deep dry sand at the bottom offered little grip, therefore no chance to change direction or slow down before hitting the tree just off to the side of the trail - a dead stop from about 15mph. A&E thought I'd been hit by a car. Shattered collar bone and four bruised ribs, along with what the doc called "very impressive soft tissue damage" (gee thanks!). Not fun at my age - tend to ride now with a bit more forward planning about what to do if it all goes a bit wonky...
2nd November, 2009. A nice frosty night ride.
Entering a wood, following a mate, he flicked up a small brnach, my front wheel caught it, down I went. Was doing about 5mph. Stuck foot out to stop a full tumble, but it all went wrong and down I went. Immediately knew I was in trouble. After much laughter from mates, established that I was going to be taking no further part in the evening's ride. My ankle was well & truely buggered. Had to ride out of the woods (bottom of the hill) with one leg and then ride to the car (at least 3 miles away). then had to get the bike on the trailer, drive home, take bike of trailer, put in garage, unhitch trailer and put away & remove tow bar. Got in and pretty much collapsed in a heap. Mrs Feet asked what was up, so told her and she replied 'well if you will do such bloody stupid things as ride in the dark in the woods...'. Anyway, foot was now swelling up nicely and going funny colours, so off to bed I went.
Went to work the next day, but ended up going to the walk in centre, who sent me directly to A&E. A&E then just said it should get better in a few days / couple of weeks.
Fast forward 3 1/2 months and it's still swollen & still a funny colur so had a GP referral to have an X-Ray. The radiologist spotted all was not well, but it took another 2 weeks to get the results back and be told to go to teh fracture clinic where teh consultant announced I'd broken my ankle quite nicely in 3 places, but it all seemed to be healing OK, so a course of physio prescribed.
**** thing still hurts nearly a year and a half later.
the last one. after which my physio said. well, that'll be your cycling over then. and as the weeks roll by, looks increasingly likely to be true...
Oh what happened? Knee ligaments?
That tabletop at the bottom of Ski Run at FOD. Was having an awesome day on the uplift, did the full 15/16 runs and fancied sessioning the tabletop as I'd wanted to clear it for ages. I was so close to clearing it, gave it a bit of extra speed and pulled up which caused me to twist in the air and then nosedive sideways. Tyre pinch flatted, I ended up over the bars in a cloud of dust. Something happened to my shoulder, don't know if it fully dislocated but something definitely popped out as I felt it go back in, then it came out then fell back in again as I shut my car door to go home. Drove home 1 handed with the heating on full in the middle of summer, as I was freezing!
Doctor said it was just muscle overextension and it would be fine in a few weeks. Almost 2 years later and I'm still on the physio stretches which can be quite painful, and it clicks in the cold. Sometimes get sharp shooting pains through the shoulder, maybe a trapped nerve or something?
apparently my mystery knee is beyond the ken of the nhs to either diagnose or advise on fixing. i would go into the boring details but i have insufficient life left. suffice to say the following becomes an ever more accurate portrait of orthopaedic types as time goes by
I rode into a tree stump (placed there by a swearword).
Branch went into shin/calf and swung me and the bike around 360 deg.
Had to "ride" 7 mile to get to a car - shoe full of blood.
Loads of stiches -internal and external.
Eastern European doctor waved away the suggestion from the nurse that it may require "plastics" and told her he had dealt with many gunshot/shrapnel wounds and that this was no different.
My calf looks like a half eaten pastie.
Last summer, nice dry evening, relatively small jump at the Bomb Crater in Swinley. Front wheel washed out and I went down on my shoulder then head. Broken collar bone, smashed helmet and a mild concussion.
Sat on a log for a while, then cycled out of the forest with my two sons, loaded the car (my bike on the top of the CRV 
), sat debating how to drive (not an auto), then drove home looking grey and went to bed with painkillers. Went to hospital the next morning.
D(ad)TFU
I did this near the start of a Pootle about a year back. Landing square onto rocks/The Beast onto my bare knee.
Ps, I have knobbly knees normally 
I finished the rest of the Pootle
Broken elbow on a washout and a dislocated shoulder and torn ligaments after a trip over the bars
Cannock 2011 just bought a new zesty - wasn't tuned quite right(excuse for rubbish skills). Hit the rock pavements went over the bars and landed on hands and knees. Bit sore - finished the ride. Over the next few months slowly became unable to walk without being in agony.
One MRI later showed severe prolapsed discs requring surgery. Now off for 4-6 weeks recovering.
Best part - this is the second time.
Missus and i still discussing me keeping the bike - or not.
Only bonus - managed to watch 6 seasons of criminal minds.
In terms of what the **** happened and outward physical damage my OTB at last year's Bristol Bikefest is up there for me;
Although breaking my wrist in 4 places a few years back tumbling down the Picnic Bench trail in Leigh Woods was the most debilitating
Broken elbowI remember I had to wait a week for the bone swelling(?) to go down on my elbow before I could have a plaster on mine!
Gawd I'm shit on a bike
Absolutely hooning down White Coppice, the previous weeks melting snow had eroded away a hole that wasn't there the week before. I was on top of before I saw it. I tried to clear it, but you know when you get that horrible sinking feeling..... you know you're not going to make it
The back wheel hooked up, I went straight over the bars and face planted, basically punching a mahoosive hole in my face. It was a right mess. 'Multi-directional lacerations' according to the various surgeons who prodded me while they glued and stitched my face back together. I was absolutely covered in blood! And completely dazed. I'd have been in pretty serious trouble without the helmet!
I'm amazed I'm not more seriously scarred! And Thank god for my rather chilled mate Paul who coaxed me, completely befuddled, back to civilisation
A high speed DH launch ramp I built was altered to a medium speed kicker for flare by a 16 year old right after showing him papers saying to tell all riders of any changes on private sites (to get round insurance) and I hit it faster than I could pedal.
Landed on my front wheel, thought 'no problem' but then I hit loose leaves and the wheel slid. I saw the ground coming at me, actually said, 'I could die here' and closed my eyes and relaxed. Hit right side jaw, full facer has a few gouges there but didn't break. Apparently I rolled onto my back, didn't travel any. Sat up 2 seconds later and started swearing. Got up and rode off, but was wobbly. Been told the electricity probably stopped in my head those few seconds.
Suffered an mTBI, with internal right ear bone fragments loose most likely. This was about 10 years ago. I couldn't walk right for 6.5 years until the fragments were 'moved'. I was suffering headaches, hallucinations (from my memory, superimposed over hearing and vision) turned grey and sweaty with exertion. Jars to my head would stun and almost render me unconscious. I'm light sensitive now, so those stupid flashing front lights people use really are my bane on an evening commute in the dark. 1 in 7,000 people are epileptic, and far more light sensitive, it's a shame people don't think of this.
I had blackouts and then seizures for many years. Only figured the blackouts due to finally figuring out the almost constant physical pain in the left side of my head was me slamming my head into the unit next to me where I sat at home. The seizures were distressing, lowered IQ, unable to know my own name, complete physical lockups and probably stopping breathing during them too.
Short term memory gone to pot. Had to learn to put things into long term. Memories pre-accident are still there and I had to relearn a lot, to make new connections to access them all. Still have crap maths ability. Headway (brain injury charity) was around but not accessible for me (not in my city) and the NHS wasn't geared up for brain injuries (nurses yelled at me for my style of riding saying 'bikes aren't meant to do that' etc) They couldn't even send me to the brain specialist in the next building, red tape said if I wasn't going to die in 24hrs I had to ask my GP to send me to the specialist. Took me 4 months to remember to make an appointment. I was 5 months in. From 9 to 14 badly I suffered badly. I went on a hard XC ride and came back and had my first seizure. The damage was getting worse. At 18 months in I had my second fall off the top of a staircase seeing a corridor there and my employer (solicitors) said there was no way with this known condition that the public liability insurance would cover me. Off to the GP and got signed off.
The specialist then got upset with me, diagnosed me then filled in my DLA forms saying "has no day to day problems" even after I was blacking out, overflowing my bath, burning my pans on my stove. Took 1.5 years to get to an independent appeal and found the paperwork. Also my GP didn't state what he'd diagnose me with, then he retired, leaving me piss poor, and confused.
A whole load of variable symptoms, misdiagnosis by many doctors, awful experiences at the hands of neuro-psychologists and psychiatrists (apart from one shrink, she was solid) Put on 55lbs in weight, lost 30lbs two summers ago and working on the rest still. Differences in chemical balance meaning allergies surfaced, and particularly sensitivities to things.
Was hard watching my kids grow up, being forgetful, bad sleeping habits (a lot of 12-13hr sleeping) confusion over dates and facts. But I did get my education paid for and I graduate uni in June, (hopefully) and may be able to work in a half-decent job. There are limitations though. Memory still buggered, knocks to head are awful, fluctuating emotions.
I have always and still advocate wearing helmets obviously, but gotta say there were many, many, many times along the route to where I am now where I wish I had just died.
The best thing we can learn from this as 'sportsmen' is to observe your mates for symptoms after head impacts. If you notice changes, tell them to report to their GP for diagnosis before their world turns to crap. If you suffer a concussion then don't ride for 2 weeks, as a second 'could' kill you (biggest killer of young men in the US is head injuries, due to gunshots, vehicle accidents and american football and you'll find plenty of info on the web about concussions and mTBI's) Headway (the brain injury charity) is a reasonable source of literature, particularly the book aimed at family and friends. Usually stops them giving you grief when they see you healthy on the outside and say you are faking, trying to stay off work. And remember if you suffer one, don't blame. Blame is the biggest cause of psychological problems amongst mTBI sufferers.
I'm back riding, I can do most stuff. Things sure have changed in the last ten years, but the fun is still how I remember it.
Swiss01,
apparently my mystery knee is beyond the ken of the nhs to either diagnose or advise on fixing
Go to a private consultant (about £80 to go see one at the nuffiedd hospitals). They're usualy just the NHS consultants moonlighting. My nneighbour did this, got the diagnosis, and then had the option of having the op there and then for £3k or waiting 6-8 weeks on the NHS (same surgeon, the consultant). Once he was in the system as it were he could have MRI's OP's whatever was needed, all on the NHS (or quicker if he paid for them). Going through the NHS consultant/physio system takes wayyy too long as thye're doing their best to avoid the relatively expensive options by eliminating all the cheep ones first before they send you to the consultant.
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