A very long time ago, there was this chap on alt.mountainbike who was a real character. He had been left a shitload of money and land by his father and so lived out in this massive woodland estate in Kentucky or somewhere. I think his father actually ran a papermill or something and all the land was for growing trees on.
Anyway, he *really* wanted to have a helmetcam but all he had was a normal handheld video camera so he built this huge chest mounted rig out of an old chair or something and strapped it on. It was easily as big as his torso, was made out of teak or mahogany and had this whopping great video camera whirring away in the middle of it all.
Off he set and predictably fell off on his first ride. At was at this stage that riding along with 15 pounds of timber strapped to his midrift turned out to be a very poor idea. He fell onto his chest (this was all neatly videotaped for us all to watch) and some of the wood splintered and stabbed him while other bits didn't and snapped his ribs in half.
It has to be one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my life not least because he posted the entire video including strapping the thing on, riding along very slowly, falling off, lying on the floor for about ten minutes groaning in agony and then slowly limping home with blood and vomit spread across the lens.