During a momentary lapse of sanity I’ve managed to sign myself up for the Great Manchester Run on Sunday. This is a 10Km race around the streets of Manchester. There’s details here if anyone cares: http://www.greatrun.org/great-manchester-run

Regular readers may remember that this isn’t the first 10k I’ve done, but I have never been a regular runner and the last time I ran farther than from the front door to the car because it was chucking it down was two years ago. Despite being vaguely runner-shaped I’m no athlete, I’m less racing snake and more racing pigeon so this sort of thing doesn’t come easy to me.

I started what would laughably be called “training” earlier this month. I ran just over 4Km in what felt like just under 17 hours, in the process managing a fly in the eye and three vomits. I thought I was going to die by the end of it, sadly I didn’t but my “running shoes” – a 13-year old pair of cheap Reeboks – weren’t so lucky. This promptly put the brakes on my training for a week until I could get some replacements. (I was obviously gutted.)

It seems running shoe technology has moved on since 2004 and modern shoes come in any colour you like as long as it’s toxic. Seventy quid lighter and freshly equipped with a pair of fluorescent green crimes against fashion I’ve since managed maybe four or five practice runs. It’s hard to be exact as I was tracking my progress in an app called Runkeeper, which should be named Runloser as unbeknown to me it’s quietly been failing to save or upload any data for the last three weeks. (It’s probably user error, I’m not very good with technology.) Each run has left me utterly broken at the end of it and it’s only half the distance I’ll be running on Sunday, though I am at least down to the one vomit now so that’s some improvement at least.

As the big day approaches (perhaps “looms” would be more appropriate), I figured I might as well be doing this for a cause other than blind stupidity so am going to try and raise money for charity. The charity I’ve chosen is the Lancashire Women’s Centre. As the name suggests this is a local (to me at least) charity with branches in Burnley, Accrington, Blackburn, Preston and Blackpool, and their aim is to provide help and support for women who, well, are in need of help and support. This could be mental health issues, domestic violence victims or otherwise “at risk” women and so on. You can read more about them here if you like: http://www.womenscentre.org/how-we-can-help-you Off you go, I’ll wait.

Back? Good. So this is a worthy charity, underfunded and local, so even a small donation could make a big difference. If I only manage to raise a total of a tenner it’ll mean they’ll be able to buy a nice picture to brighten up a consultation room or something.

So If I’ve ever done a favour for you, help fixed your computer or something, now’s your chance to do something in return. I’m cashing in any favours for, y’know, actual cash. If I haven’t helped you, well, doing favours is a cool thing to do so now I’m pleading for you to do me one. Don’t make me get on my knees, I’m going to need them at the weekend. So if you can, please consider pledging a little spare change to help out a worthwhile cause, and if you can’t then at least spare a thought for me whilst I’m sweating like a small nun at a penguin shoot on Sunday.

My sponsorship page is online (because, geek) and can be found here:
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/alanc1

And if nothing else, thanks for reading this nonsense this far, I applaud your dedication.

Cougar.

I love a good cause – I’ll be chipping in.

** Bump **

Good luck.
Great charity.
Disgusting that they are short of money 🙁
Dosh on the way.
APF

We have the same first name and first letter of surname!

Sorry mate, i dont get paid till a week tomorrow and totally skint the noo. Will chuck some money your way at the end of the month as i notice the sponsorship is open for a few months. Good luck

Thank you all.

We have the same first name and first letter of surname!

I absolutely guarantee we don’t share the same surname though. (As far as I know, my full name is unique in the world now my dad has passed on.)

Good choice of donation service, BT is the only (as far as I know) service that is non-profit, do not take a commission, and do not charge the charity a subscription.

The only charge is 13p for debit cards and 1.3% for credit cards, apart from that, everything goes to the charity, plus the gift aid.

Good luck.

And if nothing else, thanks for reading this nonsense this far, I applaud your dedication.

Sorry. Just read the first and last line. Good luck in the run, tho.

There’s a few quid from me mate, at least you’ve got the decency to promise us a bit of suffering 🙂

Good luck!

Worthy cause and happy to donate.

Thats a lot of words just for asking for sponsorship!
I’ve done the great south run a couple of times. Did a couple of training runs, possibly 4 miles and that was it.
Just try and pace yourself and keep going at a pace that feels comfortable. I think I walked a bit 2/3 of the way for a mile or so. Managed 1:37ish both times.
Running is boring.
Good luck!

Heartfelt thanks to those who have donated or just provided kind words. It’s appreciated.

Good choice of donation service

It was their choice, not mine. Good to know though, ta.

Good Luck, happy to chip in for really good cause.

Thank you. (-:

Gratuitous bump for the weekenders.

I do hope it cools down by Sunday.

Good luck Cougar.

Great bunch of people, accompanied my wife on the 10k walk from Great Harwood a couple of weeks ago.

Hope all goes to plan.
If you see her, please say hello to Adele from Sue & Pete.

For gods sake sponsor the man before he resorts to busking to raise money again.

If you see her, please say hello to Adele from Sue & Pete.

I haven’t seen her, but Adele has sent me a running shirt.

For gods sake sponsor the man before he resorts to busking to raise money again.

Ye gods, that’s a bit scary.

can ye no just take yer bike? 😆 good luck!

Cougar, as one who has donated I hope the weather is warm and sticky – serves you right for doing something good!

I have done multiple 10k and half marathon events – when I was so much younger – and know that unless you’re streaming in sweat you don’t deserve that cold beer in the pub.

Enjoy!

Cheers.

I’ll be sweating bullets at 100 yards in I expect, it’s something I’m quite at. The weather’s overcast today and I was about to say I hope it continues, but it’s just started booting it down.

And TBH, I’m only in it for the beer.

Done you silly billy

Cheers TJ.

We’ve just doubled the (arbitrary) target I’d set. That’s beyond awesome, and as I said in the OP it will make a big difference. Thank you all, I’m touched. (Mind you, I’ve been touched for years.)

I particularly like your choice of charity. Its nice to see someone thinking of a small local and lets face it not popular charity. that money will make a real difference to them

Similar cash flow issues to above poster, but will chuck in my contribution to the cause on Wednesday when the man puts the bread into the account. Live on the route, looks like you got lucky with the weather, yesterday would’ve been horrible! Good luck!

I’m not dead. 1:01:42. I’ll have that.

Home now. Write-up to follow once I’ve landed.

Current total stands at £520. Thank you all so so much. If I can get it to £600 I’ll post a photo up of your favourite Moderator absolutely broken. (I’m sure I’ve got a pic of Drac somewhere.) How’s that for an incentive?

So.

I drove to a convenient Metro stop this morning as I’ve made the mistake of trying to drive all the way in before. Got as far as Queen’s Road (because obviously Victoria is shut), then had to get a bus replacement service into the city. Credit where it’s due, this was very well organised. The matrix displays on the fronts of the busses cycle between the destination and “WE [heart] MCR,” which was a nice touch. Driving past the Arena which now has loads of flowers outside was a sobering sight.

Dropped my bag off at the baggage bus (which for my wave was on a different street to all the others, so I’d walked the length of the street twice before being sent in the right direction), and moseyed on over to the start. The recent attack didn’t seem to have diminished the crowds. They give you a “who are you running for” card to wear on your back, and as well as the usual “mum” and all that there were loads of variations on I [heart] MCR and so so many bees.

Did the Mr Motivator-esque warm-up, and then we had a minute’s silence. Surrounded by all these people so recently affected by the events at the arena, all proudly standing there with their bees and whatever other charities, personal tragedies and “well, why not” reasons for being there was all a bit dusty in here. (The veneer had cracked only a few minutes earlier when there was a loud feedback crack from the PA and everyone jumped and then kinda laughed nervously. We’re brave and we’re proud and we won’t be terrorised, but we’re still a little bit twitchy.)

Then we were away. They have a pinch point before the line to thin the herd so that when you cross the line it opens out again to give you some space. I don’t know why, maybe I was further up front than normal, but it just didn’t seem to work this time. People running side-by-side in the middle of the pack creates rolling road-blocks, and not that I’m saying I’m necessarily faster but I cannot run at someone else’s pace. It’s tricky to weave in and out without being a massive plum as everyone coming up behind me is trying to do the same thing.

After the first Km or so it thinned out, then around 3Km you’re on a long, gentle incline which saps energy from you. Relatively I wasn’t feeling too bad at this point, on my practice runs I’d got to a point of being able to cover this sort of distance. It’s all about keeping my breathing under control I’ve found, if I’m gasping for air then I need to back off, easier said than done going uphill.

Somewhere around 4K there’s a short stretch of downhill just before the football ground. This is nice to claw back some time and give your legs a slight breather but again it was a pinch point (I’m sure it was tighter than previous years, marshalls shouting to keep left and police with SMGs kicking about, not quite sure what was going on there) so I couldn’t find any space. Frustrating (and a bit disconcerting).

I was really starting to flag by now, and I’m not even halfway round. My legs were tight and aching, my groin hurt (quiet at the back). I’m having mental doubts, did I go out too fast, have I blown it? So 5K was a blessed relief, now I’ve just got to do the same thing all over again.

Somewhere between 6K and 7K I think, my ankle started to hurt. There was a bit of a twinge and the it felt maybe like cramp or something. Never mind. At 7K there’s a bit of a switchback which is relatively steep. I walked this bit, I was pretty ruined and my ankle was quite sore, and in any case it was yet another bloody pinch point as everyone else went “oh, hill” and also slowed to a crawl.

8K starts the long home stretch, paralleling your route out. Seeing all the runners coming the other way fresh as daisies is heart-warming when you’re blowing it out your arse. Incidentally, whoever the guy was in the crowd who was offering out Haribo to passers-by, you’re a life-saver and I thank you. I had nothing left, at this point it was just a mental game; I was changing the way I was running (what I suppose actual runners might call cadence or gait maybe) just to switch around the muscles I was using. Keep breathing, keep your arms moving, head up, remember your knees are supposed to bend in the middle, try not to think about the pain in your ankle. It was all I could do to keep one foot in front of the other. The crowd really help here mind, you’ve got your name printed on your race number and they shout encouragement to you by name which makes a surprising difference.

9K is the mental game pay-off, it’s the vinegar strokes of the 10K. So ok Cougar, last bit, what’ve you got left? Grit your teeth, get on with it. I bloody well got on with it.

I’m not a runner, but one thing I seem to be quite good at is strong finishes. They give you final countdown markers at 600, 400 and 200 metres. At each one, I picked up the pace; as I passed the 200m marker I was pretty much flat out and I fairly flew over the line. Then I had to grab the fence rail to keep myself vertical. As I desperately gasped lungfuls of air like in the end sequence of Total Recall, I set off to collect my goodie bag (tee-shirt, medal, words from out sponsors) and realise just how much my ankle actually hurt.

I hobbled off to retrieve my bag from the coach, conveniently situated all of a yard away from a pub. So, well, a pint of Doom Bar is readily digestible carbs, right?

Not much to add really, getting home was the reverse of getting in. The coda is whilst I’ve got all the expected aches and pains which are going to be double tomorrow, it would appear that my ankle is properly sodded still, it feels somewhat like a sprain. I can put weight in it, but if I put weight on it in the wrong way it hurts like an absolute mofo.

So there you go, suffering promises kept.

Well done tomorrows lunch money just spent

TL:DR 🙂

£600 looks very attainable though!

Thanks for posting. Everything is relative and thats a run I am not capable of – you got round so congrats, will help you towards the target.

£600 looks very attainable though!

Er,

Shit.

(-:

TL:DR

TL;DR: I ran ten kilometres (and a bit, 10.17 according to my GPS), and now I hurt a lot.

Total raised
£600.00

Sods.

Do I get my first ban now? 😆

Five minutes later, I got a second medal.

Do I get my first ban now?

In seriousness, that was an awesome thing to do. Thank you. And, I know I’ve said it before, but thank you again to all of you.