Hi everyone,

I'm getting hitched to the missus as of xmas, and we've started to look at wedding venues. The church is sorted but everywhere seems to want 3k for a reception venue, and then a squillion quid on top for the food and booze.

I understand there is something of a 'wedding tax' in the UK, but i'm hoping I can dodge it. I'm quite happy to put some work in – for example, I'm thinking that if I can find somewhere decent that doesn't have a booze licence I can then source that myself (estate car + tescos + 500 quid). Or maybe get the local curry house in to do the food.

So what i'm looking for is a nice venue near Woking (where the church is), such as a church hall (the church i'm getting married at doesn't have one), which doesn't want a million quid for hire and isn't 'nasty'.

Any ideas / experiences of doing a reception on a budge of less than 10k are welcome…

Just tell them it's a birthday party – it'll be cheaper

mrs. and I had a marquee set up in our garden but honestly it was still a couple of K for that, but at least we weren't tied to the halls choice of caterer/entertainment.

I did a wedding and a reception on a budget of 3k, but there were only 15 attendees 🙂 I would say if you want to keep the costs down, keep it small.

500 quid

You have seriously underestimated peoples ability to drink free booze.

My wedding reception [in 1982] was under £100

We had Thatcher then though – so no one had any money anyway

/miserable old git mode/ I genuinely find it quite obscene what people pay these days.

Don't provide free booze?

Most weddings I've been to haven't as it's a massive cost saving. Certainly wouldn't do it at mine, except for wine with the meal.

I have heard of people organising a "birthday party" and getting things cheaper.

Tell her, as I have, that you'll only marry her if the tax situation changes for married couples and then go on a nice holiday with a fraction of the money you have saved.

hmmm i lost the plot when you said "nice venue near woking" – that's impossible!!

Weddings are expensive however you do it. Rent a hotel- expensive, marquee and caterers- expensive, buy your own booze- that's ok but the hotels will charge you 5-10£ bottle corkage. The only way to keep cost down is keep things small. If you want a hundred guests it will be expensive however you do it, and lets face it surrey is never cheap!

Another way people keep costs down is by getting married overseas and therefore " we're only having a small do!".

Making your future wife not realise at heart youre a stingy ***tard- Priceless!

I shot a couple's wedding at Woking Town Hall last Summer. I'm guessing it was cheap – they hired in their own caterers, but you might think it's a wee bit 'nasty' – go have a look…..

Shouldn't her parents be coughing up for it?
I'm traditional like that

We're using a local village hall for both wedding and reception (small extra premium for it being a wedding). It has a license and a fully staffed bar. £1K
On top of that caterers for food – both main meal and some evening bits. £2K
Some bubbly on arrival, wine with the meal and a barrel of real ale. £1.5 – 2.0K

£4.5 – 5.0K for about 90 people in the day and about 40 extra in the evening. There are obviously loads of costs on top of that, but they aren't directly venue related.

I'm sure we could have done it cheaper, but weddings are expensive and we think we've struck a reasonable balance. I bet it'll still be £10K in total when we're all done.

its defo gone over the top ..its all the hype ! why dont you get yerselfs buzzed off to Gretna Green ! alot cheaper…
jeepers back in the day of 1985 when i got married you paid for the church and local venue to do a beautiful buffet spread, i had an uncle who built those old fashion 'model T ford' cars, so we borrowed one of those..(brilliant) and everything was hunkey dorey…! none of this 3k lark….. how times have changed ! then few years later people started to get married abroad..st lucia etc… even more expensive… its gone OTT ever since.. who wants alot of debt at start of a marriage…..but thats how it is today….hohum.

You can hire a bar including barmen/maids. I think it was around £400 when we did it. They sort out the licence and everything which is about half the cost. Along with the wine we got from France (a mathematical error meant there was just over 1 bottle per person, children included) everyone was quite happy.

Shouldn't her parents be coughing up for it?
I'm traditional like that

As a father of 3 daughters – I'd say no 😀

Hmmm, understand it's going to cost a lot, but the numbers that are floated around seem unbelievable.

Luckily the future mrs Ewan is almost as tight as him.

The price of wedding related stuff is a f*cking joke. I quickly learned that as soon as you stick the word "wedding" in front of anything the price sky rockets

We had a fairly low key wedding which involved hiring a private dining room in a very nice hotel.

If you wanted to hire the dining room for a normal meal, it was free and you paid for the food and drink.

If you wanted to hire it for a wedding there was an £800 charge on top of the food and drink 😆

We just took over a small hotel, as had a small number of guests, and only paid for food/drink – no obvious padding other than perhaps charging a bit more for food than they would usually.

Crikey have things gone up that much? , we only got married 8 years ago and only spent 4K on the wedding and honeymoon. It would've been about £700 less but our original booking for the meal and night do went up in flames 5 weeks before the wedding and it was a mad dash to get things sorted.

See if there's a local rugby club that would host your reception/night do

I'd happily spent 10k on some awesome holiday 😉
as for a wedding .. I'd rather not got married or disapper somewhere with a few friends.
but seriously as lots of people have suggested about, can't you just say it's a birthday party, you just want some nice food, do you necessarily want it decorated in cheesy (my opinion) white drapes and balloons?? get rid of this silly idea of putting favours on the table!!! Friend did a runner and took 150 guests to a Chateaux in France it was awesome and cheaper than doing it in the UK! Free beer/wine all night it was unbelievable!! Just a thought.

I full intend to lie through my teeth as to what the event is. However I have friends who have done this and then be found out at which point the price increases. My plan was to get a quote for both, and then use the cheap one as a negotiating point. It's incredible, I feel like the entire married population of the country has bent over and taken it, which is why the situation is thus…

I have little opinion on whether it should be cheesy / traditional / whatever. However the future mrs ewan does, and I'm sensible enough to listen to her on this one!

You don't even have to lie, after all it's just a 'party' isn't it.

We went down the marquee route too and in the end it cost as much as hiring somewhere. Still, it was a great day and worth every penny.

It can be done, but numbers make all the difference, well that and reigning the wife in. We had ours at a beachside restaurant i a VERY expensive part of country and came in under 3 grand including free booze all day and food.

The venue was reasonably cheap, but we saved by only having about 30 guests to the day bit/food and having a 'posh' bbq put on by the restaurant. No photographer (what a rip off they are), wifes friend made cakes for nothing, i-pod hooked up to stereo for music, my vintage suit from ebay, her dress from highstreet (not wedding dress), no flowers. My old boy paid for the booze all day for everyone, which is pretty much all anyone can remember from the day and went down a treat.

Only extravagances were her hair, '56 Buick to get us there, and £3 for the sandbanks ferry to get us to the reception.

/miserable old git mode again/

To be honest, you should be relieved that the old tradition appears to be dying out. For example, mine was 30 years ago (yes, I know!) and it was the father of the bride who always footed the bill.

Once I realised it wasn't 'my day', I ended up leaving it to my mother and future m-i-l to sort out. This then involved me getting married in church which I definitely not want to do followed by a nice reception at an hotel in Cobham, Surrey.

In my own inimitable style I got my own back by refusing to wear a white wedding dress. Guests' tongues tutted when they caught sight of my huge Ascot-style hat 🙄

So, to summarise, do what you want in the way you want and forget about it being a big deal to be featured in 'Hello' magazine!

Just hope my kids don't want to bother 😉

Mates wedding reception back in 1982, he hired the local community hall, and a chap to supply the drinks,he paid him up front and even delivered some of the drinks to him.

Strangely he wasnt seen agian, so we ended up the pub down the road .

Why spend thousands on free food and drink,save the money and spend it on yourselves, just invite freinds,and some family to a local beefeater etc.

We had our wedding reception in the hotels normal dining room, with a menu that was chosen before hand, sitting 27 guests around one oval table. Luckily by the time the speeches were being read the other diners had left.
Then a party in a room with a bar and dance floor in the evening. So wasn't too expensive at all.

<deleted due to overtly smug post concerning our exceedingly good value wedding in France> 😆

Totally agree with the above…. however, if future mrs ewan wants it that way, then that's the way it's going to be.

I'm currently investigating local authority buildings. Looks promising.

Ewan,

I got hitched back in september and the whole thing cost us only £3700. That includes outfits and rings!

We did a registry office and then hired a Scout campsite which had a hall and kitchen with it.

Everyone camped and brought something to eat and drink. We got in a ceilidh band and hog roast, got a keg from the local brewery and bought some wholsale fizz. We put on a big fry-up for the next morning too.

Great time was had by all!

Oh, and about 150 people

As said above, try cricket/rugby/bowls etc, maybe golf clubs.

Else a hog roast in the back garden/friendly farmers field etc.

Hmm how do places justify the wedding tax when they find out its not a birthday party? I can see the point of bumping up the price if you say its a wedding but cant see how they can say (with a straight face) tX price normally, Y price for wedding

I got married abroad, it was ace only took 6months from proposdal to wedding ceremony, piece of piss to arrange and didn't cost a bomb.

Go abroad! (maybe not a tacky, beach production line!) It's a win win situation
1.Spend a fraction of the money and all on yourselves!
2.Guaranteed sunshine.
3.Invite all the people you feel you ought to but don't want to, knowing that they wont spend the money to get there. All you are left with is the people you really want there.

Some of the private schools have reasonable hire rates for halls and nice grounds.

For example Manor House in Bookham was where my brother in law had his reception and I went to another at St Johns in Cobham/Leatherhead I think was, that was very nice too. Claremont Fan Court definately hire out halls in Esher. Obviously they all require you to bring your own.

We had a marquee at the inlaws and it was expensive IIRC but they paid for it hooray.

c_g – you were a child bride 😀

£3k, thats cheap!!! 😯

Although I am getting married here: http://www.drumtochtyunlimited.com/

@ Bunnyhop – oh yes, child bride! Still act like a child too 🙄

user-removed – Member
I shot a couple's wedding at Woking Town Hall last Summer. I'm guessing it was cheap – they hired in their own caterers, but you might think it's a wee bit 'nasty' – go have a look…..

Posted 1 hour ago #

Sorry, just checked, and it was actually Worksop Town Hall 😳

To be fair to the venues which stick an £800 surcharge on at the mention of the 'W' word, you have to think of the extra costs involved. If they book a company meeting, they just stick out some trestle tables and cloths, a few pens, some mints and some jugs of water. Job's a goodun.

If they book a wedding in the same room, they'll need a dozen staff to wait tables / set up / take down / clean / cater etc etc. On top of that, there'll be days of to-ing and fro-ing with two or three anxious women all changing their minds about chair-cover colour every two days. So a lot more time and prep.

Also, there's huuuuge expectations these days, that a wedding venue must look absolutely amazing. If you want perfection (and most do), it comes with a price tag.