For reasons beyond his control, the best man for my wedding had to pull out so I appointed a new one. As it turns out, my first best man is now able to come, which is great.

Now, both of these guys are great friends and will both do a great job of it so I’d quite like to let them both do the job. The question is, how do I split the responsibilities? In fact, what are the responsibilities of a best man anyway?

Has anyone else seen a similar situation? How was it worked out?

Are they friends with each other as well?

you shouldnt have to be splitting anything, they are your best men, get them to sort themselves out? isnt that the whole point? they are there to help you.

I’ve been half a best man before – we did a joint speech (a really good laugh) adn split/helped each other on other duties.

TBH I thought/think the guy’s a bit of a knob but we managed it fine, cos I’m nice and tolerant.

You only need one, hence the best MAN. Two just means a long speech, which is painful to sit through or one just sits on the side lines and doesn’t do that much and therefore is a redundant feature.

I was in this situation with my brother, (he and I were the best men) caused “tension” due to the stress of the speech, ended up that I held the rings in church and didn’t mutter a peep at the top table. To be honest I felt like I didn’t do much at all.

Just have one.

I had two. One on the rings job, the other with the speech. Worked fine.

It’s OK, but they have to be comfortable with sharing a bridesmaid and the inevitable awkward ‘touching’ that might happen

, cos I’m nice and tolerant.

I don’t even know you that well, but that did make me LOL 😆

As for the OP, agree to the other comments that regardless of whether they are mates or not, just set them an overall goal for what you want them to do, and get them to sort it out amongst themselves.

I would entrust the rings to the right chap though, that is critical.

And if the other can arrange the right kind of skanky-ho for rampant pre-marital bum fun, then perhaps you should lean towards giving him those organisational responsibilities.

Ah, excellent. I feel I’ve really helped today 😀

Kev

I am doing the same for the same reason – don’t stress too much it’ll be fine!

A friend of mine had two best men (all 3 were very close friends), as above they just worked everything out between them – not something you should be worrying about! They split the speech between them, each covering a different period of the grooms life. Worked well but personally I think one best man is better, particularly for the speeches.

One definite advantage is on the stag do – the groom got a lot less attention than usual as the rest of us took great pleasure in playing the two best men off of each other. They ended up in a 3 day alcohol induced death spiral 🙂

I was half of a best man duo and it worked really well.

I have been an individual best man too and if you take it seriously there is a lot to do, so sharing it is actually not a bad thing.

For the speech we did it together as a sort of double act, it worked really well ( I think 🙂 )

I had two, they sorted themselves out great without me getting involved. Basically they have responsibility for the stag do and a speech, so they can either do one each, or do what my guys did and work together on both.

Also they help out on the day with whatever you need, like marshalling people for photos and making sure people know where to go next.

Hah, some good replies!

Should point outthat both guys vaguely know eachother but have only met once or twice.

Wise advice not to let both do a speech – could get tedious.

piedi di formaggio – Member

It’s OK, but they have to be comfortable with sharing a bridesmaid and the inevitable awkward ‘touching’ that might happen
Unless they get on well in which case they may end up high fiving while said bridesmaid is otherwise engaged.

I reckon its the perfect set up. If there are 2 grooms.

(tried to post pic of Elton and David, but Google results made me feel sick, sorry)

Our speech turned into a double act and worked really well (not just IMO!)

I think the message it sends out (especially to the bride and her family) is that you’re really reluctant to leave your childhood behind.

My2 best men did a great job with the speech. Brought the house down. They dress as 2 judges. one gave evidence as to why I was ok, the other butted in with a counter argument to say I was a liability. Only problem was they left me on the morning me the wedding to go and practice. I could have known in advance. It was probably good for me to sweat it out on my own for a few hours beforehand. It added to the tension. Do what you want. Get a third person to make sure they wont choke doing the speech, which is best bit. Its always ok.

I was half a best man double act.

We split the speech and the ushering duties, I did the rings the other one signed the register.

Not read any of the responses but I asked both my brothers to be my best men and they shared the responsibilities. They were happy (moreso as they did a joint speech so less stress) and I was proud to have my two best friends do it for me.

🙂

As above I had one to do the speech as he is very funny and another mate for the rings etc.
Dead easy and then leave them to sort out the rest of the nonesense between them and relax

I had two. One was my best mate who scared me stiff by winding me up about what he might reveal. He did the speech and my 16 year old son did the rings and MCing (and side bets about how long the speeches would total). It worked well and made everyone feel that more involved. Didn’t take my son on stag do weekend. I was so scared of the possible retributionI was owed that I organised it and just told matesto turn up at a time and place with there passports.

I’ve been one half of 2 best men, had 2 for my wedding and will be one half of 2 again in May (the three weddings for three best mates) and for the two weddings so far it’s worked really well. Rather than 2 separate speeches, they’ve been done tag-team style and as they’ve been rehersed (with someone to bounce ideas off) they come across excellently. They’ve been no longer than a one-man speech and have been universally praised by the guests.

BigJohn – Member
I think the message it sends out (especially to the bride and her family) is that you’re really reluctant to leave your childhood behind.

Eh?! Why?

IME, it’s now very common – I go to a lot of weddings (it’s my job) and I would say that probably about a third of them have two best men. Works out fine usually – they may have to be reminded to curtail their speeches somewhat, but the BM’s speech is usually the only one which is any fun, so having two isn’t a bad thing.

What does grind my gears though, is brides who have anything more than four bridesmaids / flower girls. Trying to pose massive bridal parties is a PITA. Some have up to 14 😯

definitely get them to sort it out between themselves.. the best man’s job is to help make the whole thing go smoothly for you..

I reckon its the perfect set up. If there are 2 grooms.

My brother-in-law had his favourite lesbian as his best man..

I think the message it sends out (especially to the bride and her family) is that you’re really reluctant to leave your childhood behind.

one of my mates had one of his ex-girlfriends as his best man.. what message would you have been worried about that sending to the bride and her family?

FWIW no-one at the wedding gave a flying bouquet about it and they are all still bezzers to this day..

I must admit after being 1/2 of a duo I wished that I had had two. I had to choose between two of my best friends and I should have had both of them do it especially as I know both of their skills would have complemented each other.. I have was (singly) best man for both of them.

I shared best man’s duties a few years ago. I did the formal stuff (organised the stag do, ring, speech, etc) and then the other guy (his brother) did some gags. He’s a good lad and bloody funny, so it was a good way to finish off the official side of things and start chilling.

Can’t see it working every time though, but IMO it depends on how “close” the two blokes are.

My brother-in-law had his favourite lesbian as his best man..

My brother-in-law-to-be is having my other sister as his best man.

Fixed.

No, she’s allergic to penis.

I was one of 4, plenty of gags about how decisive the groom was