I have a bike like the luggage as well

lol @ hill wearing wet copper armour in a thunder storm screaming. The gods of thunder don’t give a toss about mild mannered stwers!

dont ever buy new razor blades again.

sharpen them on a pair of jeans…

joking aside this works….

WOW

save money this christmas by telling carollers to eff off.. 😐

GrahamS – Member

Trapped wind or bloating?

Don’t bother with chemically pills and the like, just lie on your back and pull your knees up to your chest, squeeze, and relaxxxx….

Note: more sensitive co-workers may object, so it may be best to sneak into an enclosed space, like the bosses office while he is away from his desk.
We have a winner!

But this is a doozy

flip – Member

When you’ve missed the last coach back to Bournemouth at London Victoria coach station, don’t abuse the Met Police when they’re trying to help.

Or you’ll spend the night locked up in Belgravia cop shop

I wish I’d met more of you lot when I lived in Victoria…

Don’t go to the expense of buying summer and winter tyres. Simply buy one pair of winter tyres and run them inside out during the dry summer months!

Never come first, never come last and never waste an erection.

Never come first, never come last and never waste an erection.

Not first or last? How many of you are there in this activity?

drilling a hole in the wall? use a post it

When posting images to STW try and make sure everybody else can see them.

Greyish coloured or dirty marks on hand painted furniture or painted surfaces
can be taken off using a good quality rubber (Steadtler)
So no need to rub down and re-paint.

Plane not cutting too well despite just honing the blade? Put a few streaks across the sole with a candle and your plane will really glide across your timber.

When stuck behind a learner motorcyclist, honking your horn, flashing your lights and gesticulating like an epileptic experiencing both a fit and 240 volts passing your scrotum will not help in getting you on your way any quicker.

In fact it will lead to the learner motorcyclist having a bit of a panic and forgetting how to do a hill start after a stall, then going on a deliberate go-slow up the hill.

If a pregnant lady wishes to give birth you should lay her on her back with her legs in the air and entice the baby out by waving a rattle near the end of her skirt.

Save time when crossing a one way street by only looking towards oncoming traffic.

When crossing a one way street, make sure you look both ways in case a bin wagon is reversing the wrong way down the road.

samuri – Manchester Infirmary.

Prit make crap lip-stick.

Go green. Save your toenail clippings. Put them in an old stocking and knot it. Now you have a very good pan scourer.

18bikes – Member

drilling a hole in the wall? use a post it
Drilling a hole in the wall? Use a drill…

Elfin’s Top Tip:

If the need to argue on tinternet overcomes you, avoid arguing with Elfin, as he is always right and the more you argue with him the sillier you will look and more laughing he will be.

Pw3d 😆

When trying to convert your non tubeless rims and tyres to be tubeless using the popular “Ghetto”, use a compressor.

A serious one……….

Gamut chain devices are noisy due to having a nylon chain roller. Cut a section out of a roadie inner tube and slip it over the roller with a bit of glue and the noise goes.

I loved the viz one about polar bears adapting to global warming by rebranding themselves solar bears. It then had a picture of polar bears poolside on sun loungers.

When playing the ‘Wake your friend up with a spatula’ game- make sure the spatula isnt a metal one.

Metal ones hurt and may have the unwanted side effect of being twatted by said friend……

Save money on expensive beehives by stealing a bee from your neighbor’s hive, one per night.

That way, in just over 37 years you’ll have your own free beehive and free honey to suit…

DrP

Going away for a few weeks, but worried dirty crooks will break in and ride away on your beloved stead. Just use some muckoff; spray on thoroughly, wait a few minutes then rinse off with plenty of water, in a mearly 24 hours all moving parts will sieze and rust solid, completely immobalizing the bike, making it virtually impossible to ride away on.

don’t throw used condoms away, they make great chewing gum for cats. (from viz)
Make jeans last longer by not sharpening razors on them. (my own)

Make razors last longer by sharpening them on your jeans.

worn out 22t chain rings make brilliant ninja stars.

After a late night kebab fight with your mates, remember to blow your nose to clear the chilli pepper he snuck up there. If not, in the morning the numbness to that side of your body may cause you to think you’ve had a stroke.

Never let your 3 year old have the upper hand

EVER

After a late night kebab fight with your mates, remember to blow your nose to clear the chilli pepper he snuck up there. If not, in the morning the numbness to that side of your body may cause you to think you’ve had a stroke.

😯 Was that after the ‘Wake your friend up with a spatula’ game?

Tame budgies and parrots easily by replacing their grit with iron filings. By holding a large magnet, they will sit hapilly on your hand for hours.