so in the cold light of day, without red wine, some of the replies have been hard to read but for the right reasons I think. I think I'm going from denial into acceptance, and that's painful in itself.
I took the dog out for a long walk this morning, found myself having a bit of a blub. One of the over riding feelings is almost unbearable loneliness. It's a hard cruel world when things aren't going so well, and you're the introspective kind.
I think I half expected everyone to say 'yeh that's about standard, suck it up'. But I realise that's partially my denial speaking and from spending so long focused inwardly on a life that has become something of a struggle.
But that's also partly the reason for the post, to get a real life perspective, however harsh (and I welcome all views), one that has been missing for me.
I have some time off work, although that seems to have caused a bit of dread at being at home more.
But I'm going to get some rest today, get out on the bike tomorrow, give myself a little space to think.