mdftfu

YES! *high five*

mdftfu

Thinking about this relationship, there really is no point weeping like a willow. I’ve really no idea what you’re on about in some of those (wooden) posts either, but maybe her bark’s worse than her bite and she’s just trying to make you feel saw? I’ll put ten-on that being the problem.

lol! @ mdftfu

A new bike will make you beam, but something that is knot often considered is, do you have the parqueting space for a new bike?

Sounds like she was a right beech!…or maybe knot? don’t make such a big deal out of it, you’ll be oak-ay.

If the love has varnished from your relationship, you can’t just gloss over it.

Where’s she from? Is she Polish?

Is she Polish?

As an aside, when I was learning Reverse Polish Notation at college, we took to referring to it as “Egdelp.”

As you were.

Yew sound like yew need to turn over a new leaf. Pining after a girl can just make you sickermore. It’s not healthy. There’s bound to be someone acer out there.

Was she Dutch? Just worth checking your ‘elm fir disease. I hear redwood’s a common symptom.

Then again, I’m knot sure what I wood do in your situation. But it’s always good to spruce up your bike. Just don’t cypress your emotions. Sorry, I’m just a sap when it comes to these things. I can relate to being in a logterm relationship and the intimacy that comes with.

(Upgrade your bike and move on, she’s not treating you with respect)

She’s just rang me to say she has used a hammer to my
Spesh carbon road bike and burned all my clothes.

Accused me of not spending enough time with her and I love the bike more than her?!

Wtf?!

To be fair, I accused you of that and I’ve never met you. So she’s probably right.

Still, on the upside, you’ll be needing a new bike.

[/quote]Spesh carbon road bike

she’s done you a favour mate…go get a mans bike

I haven’t laughed this much in ages! Thank you STW! Although I am sorry for the OP, I woodn’t want to be in his clogs right now

Better off, I reckon. It’s plane you’re knot meant to be together. Branch out.

The bike insurance wants pictures of my crashed bike… 🙁

I shall be visiting this weekend and spending more time babysitting the
Murderer of my bike :/

Does the insurance cover “death by aggrieved chippie” then?

Frankenstein – Member

She’s just rang me to say she has used a hammer to my
Spesh carbon road bike and burned all my clothes.

Accused me of not spending enough time with her and I love the bike more than her?!

Wtf?! 😯

I would have preferred her breaking plates.

An old girlfriend of mine once kicked in the side of my car (Mini 1275GT) saying that I loved that more than I loved her.

She was right though.

The response to which is, of course, “well, I do now, you loony.”

Once an old GF was watching polish my new Cove and said do I have competition?

I said no competition at all (looking at my bike).

We broke up 2 weeks later.

Cheque please.

Ah wait a minute. Rusty cogs turn slowly…think I’ve seen this before! 8)

Maybe your mates wood chip in for a new one?

My wife gave me the “me or the bike” ultimatum……I don’t miss her.

Whats her name, Teressa?

Dear me, these carpenter puns are awful! I thought that we’d stopped, but it now looks like we’ve only just begun.

Charlie I knew you wouldn’t be able to resisit this thread. You’re Amazon at this word play lark.

Only yesterday you were in a relationship, but you’re single now. Looks like solitaire’s the only game in town. I guess you’ve said goodbye to love, but remember that if you’re feeling bad, rainy days and Mondays always get you down.

Oooh! Well done nickf, I mean I’m good at my carpenters puns, but I’ll never get close to you!

I reckon this is a wind up. The OP posts just aren’t believable.

I reckon this is a wind up. The OP posts just aren’t believable.

Dont worry! Things can still be a laugh, even if they arent real.

Oooh! Well done nickf, I mean I’m good at my carpenters puns, but I’ll never get close to you!

I was really trying to get Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft in there, but I just couldn’t make it fit….

You need to take half an inch off the bottom.

davidtaylforth – Member

I reckon this is a wind up. The OP posts just aren’t believable.

Dont worry! Things can still be a laugh, even if they arent real.

Mmmmm…well in that case I’ve got a foot of 2 by 1 that she could probably use!

dooosuk – Member

I reckon this is a wind up. The OP posts just aren’t believable.

Nope, it’s all true, the mad bint wanted more attention and she certainly got it after smashing my bike.

She attacked the most thing I love but don’t get me wrong I’m not all heartless, she’s just spoiled and used to my 110% attention and one week I get super busy- bang.

Even accused me of sleeping with someone except my teddy. I thought our relationship was oak solid but this shows how it can be shaken up.

The jokes on here really helped me unwind and relax, look at the funny side, see how annoyed I was and sort it out.

Thanks guys. No it isn’t over but I’ll try to fix things with some wood glue.

And you can keep your help in your pants you desperate people 😆

(She is more important than the bike but only just)

I don’t feel hungry after listening to those songs either. 🙂

Accused me of not spending enough time with her and I love the bike more than her?!

She attacked the most thing I love

Sounds like she was right.

Did you start dating at 6 and now you’re both 16yrs old?

If not I’d run and avoid patching up…anyone who would smash up a bike with a hammer without trying to talk things through first (after 2 weeks on non contact of her doing) needs help.

Have you seen your bike yet? Is she winding you up? Seems like you’ve already rang the insurance company without seeing it (which is very quick and bizarre behaviour by you …if you ask me).

In seriousness,

It sounds like you both need to reassess the situation, and you both need to talk to each other. Taking the hump is one thing, avoiding you for a fortnight (and you not finding her) is another. You said it was out of the blue, then later you said you “got busy” – was she ignoring you because you were ignoring her? It doesn’t completely add up.

Generally the thing to do in the first instance when you’re not happy with a relationship is to talk to your partner. Setting fire to clothing and taking a hammer(*) to possessions is the act of someone who’s just caught their partner hanging out of the back of their sister. I’d be questioning why it’s got to that stage, and if it’s genuinely out of the blue then it’s time to move on.

(* and chisel)

I wasn’t ignoring her, I still called her etc but not 4 times a day and then she vanished.

She was ignoring me to get more attention or sulking I don’t know but if she won’t talk about things then I will ask/drag her to counselling etc.

I’ve never cheated on her and I always call to listen to her day when I get 5 mins or driving (handsfree) etc.

I do get the vibes’ she is happier and talking but I feel something else triggered it and I have no idea what caused it yet but it was aimed at me or my bike.

It’s not hunky dory for a long while but I am willing to make it work now she is talking.

it’s only a **** bike

…and then she vanished.

Like an old oak table.
😉

Cougar – Member
OP was just barking up the wrong tree, the sap. He’s done the right thing in leafing her, now that he’s got to the root of the problem he can branch out into pastures new. Find a nice girl without such oakward living arrangements.
POSTED 8 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

Lol – that is the work of a wordsmith