I swear iI am coming close with the neighbours (yes plural) cats. I am sick of them crapping on my drive and garden. My Mrs had to clean cat crap off the pram wheels yesterday (which is ace considering she’s pregnant) thanks to one of little pieces of vermin crapping on the drive. Took great delight yesterday in flinging the cat shite on the various cat dwellings yesterday.
Not sure if bombers or poison is the answer???

Have you spoken to the owner ?? I would keep a squirty water bottle handy if you see them, and give them a kick and yell if you catch them. They can learn.

(And I have a Cat, who is under strict instructions not to crap in the neighbours gardens and I have given them full permission for above if she does)

It’s owners. There are numerous folk who own said miaowing gits.

(And I have a Cat, who is under strict instructions not to crap in the neighbours gardens and I have given them full permission for above if she does)

😆 I think a super soaker and a ghilli suit is needed 😀

My upstairs neighbour is grudgingly grateful. Before we arrived about 10 cats used to frequent the area. My cat monitors any incursions with routine patrols and owns a significant chunk of territory, so only one cat to deal with.

I’d Super Soaker a neighbour’s cat if it came in our garden ! During the early battles they used to gang up on her so I had to pitch in.

Unlikely to be a cat cr@pping on tarmac, they usually like to make an attempt to bury it

Probably a dog. Own the noisy fecker

hels, seriously? Have a word with the owner? Do the owners say to the cat “stop carping on his lawn you naughty cat you”?

I have the same problem, multiple cats messing up my lawn, IME giving the cats a soaking/chasing them away does not make a difference

IME giving the cats a soaking/chasing them away does not make a difference

Maybe, but it can be quite fun.

A big dog that chases silently is good for discouraging the pests. He sportingly barks at the last minute so that a life gets used up in terror.

Amongst other things I have tried covering my slate chipped drive in bleach. My neighbours didn’t mind as apparetnly ‘Sooty’ looks real cute with white booties.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

When we first got our car (from a rescue home), there were quite a few cats in the area who had decided our garden was ‘their’ territory.

Our cat is a bit of a rubbish fighter – her tail goes puffy, she stares & then gets her butt kicked.
So, in the interest of helping her settle in, I would leg it outside every time I saw another cat in our garden & hurl a glass of water at it (I’d keep hold of the glass). I didn’t often get them (very) wet, but they did seem to learn that ‘the crazy man will come out of the house if I go there’ and stopped coming into the garden after a while.

I’m not sure what talking to the neighbours will achieve, short of warning them that if you see their cat in your garden it’s liable to get a soaking.

As has been said, it’s unlikely to be a cat, as cats prefer to bury their crap, and unless your neighbours have some kind of super-moggy they’re unlikely to be able to dig through tarmac.

I’d suggest that it’s either dog or fox crap.

Not sure if bombers or poison is the answer???

having had my cat poisoned by some idiot this year I don’t really find that funny, 5 days of failing kidneys then put down because the damage is irreversible.

as someone said cat’s don’t crap on tarmac so you’re most likely wrong and just the neighbourhood freak who walks about the place flinging jobbies and muttering to themself

Considered a gilly suit and air rifle but oh so many people would complain about that

So anyone got a non-lethal sensible (ie not buying our own faeces producing animal to chase away the neighbours) for keeping cats out? Next year our little one will be wanting to play out in the garden and I don’t want to have to mine sweep everytime. oh and in my case its definitley cats, I seen ’em, plus dogs and foxes have difficulty vaulting the 7′ fence.

Yes, have a word with the owner. I assume you have witnessed said moggy ? I would rather somebody spoke to me about my Cat, and I have managed to (er mostly) stop her crapping in neighbours nice freshly dug garden patch. By yelling at her when I see her, as does the nieghbour. Not perfect but we are getting there.

However I doubt it is a Cat on the tarmac, they like freshly dug well tended patches of earth, hence disdaining my garden. They have to bury it and all that.

P.S just read your post – the kids should do it, my Cat is more child phobic than I am !

crap on the floor is the biggest worry of your life!! FFS man up

Lion poo on the driveway ought to sort it… Cat poo is a statement of size, health and status so obtaining big cat cack will scare the critters away.

Otherwise, a super soaker is humane provided you explain yourself to your neighbour.

Has monkeychild said it’s a tarmac drive?

Cat’s crap on slate drives. They don’t always bury it. It’s not a fox or the neighbourhood loon. It’s a frickin cat! I don’t wish harm on anything but…. to all the cat owners who have the fun of stroking a cuddling up with their ‘lovely’ pet. Someone, somewhere is probably picking up it’s shit for no reward. Occasionally they’re treading that very same shit on to their new carpets, or getting into their car for work to that wonderous aroma.

If your cat comes home looking a little drenched or appears to have developed an irrational fear of coming anywhere near your house. Don’t blame me. Just feel lucky that it wasn’t hung drawn and quartered in the moments before I’ve had my morning caffine hit.

any big cat poo will do the trick, ive tried puma poo and it doesnt work, strange how such a large animal is classed as a small cat :/

the main problem is how do I find out who the cats belongs to?

I’m still interested as to how an owner stops their cat fouling my garden if I patiently explain my concerns to them (and they care) I’m not having a go hels, genuinley want to know how you would train a cat, but have to say I’m quite sceptical/dubious.

I have a gravel driveway.

crap on the floor is the biggest worry of your life!! FFS man up

No cat pooh is not the biggest worry of my life but it’s not **** nice. How about I come and crap on your property or maybe empty my lads nappy on it. Would you like to clean that mess up??
My little lad plays in the garden, so I don’t fancy him playing in pooh. Maybe that’s how you role? (cat fetish perhaps??) But I don’t let my kid play in shit.
Dog owners get a rough time with their dogs crap. How comes it’s ok for felines to crap everywhere??
Plus cats are a crap pet 😀

My cat comes in to use his litter tray for crapping, but then he is fahken awesome!

My old cat used to crap down drains 😆

Unlikely to be a cat cr@pping on tarmac, they usually like to make an attempt to bury it

Agreed

I have the same problem, multiple cats messing up my lawn

Cats usually dont crap on lawns either, they crap in the dirt where they can bury it.

Unlikely to be a cat cr@pping on tarmac, they usually like to make an attempt to bury it

Agreed

I have the same problem, multiple cats messing up my lawn

Cats usually dont crap on lawns either, they crap in the dirt where they can bury it.

I must be hallucinating then as i regularly catch the neighbours cats laying cables on the drive, patio & lawn. Either that or cats in my area have really let their standards slip!

Unlikely to be a cat cr@pping on tarmac, they usually like to make an attempt to bury it

Cat owner by any chance?

The hoard of cats round out way only attempt to bury about 50% of the time IME. And then only on freshly dug soil. The rest of the time they just crap on the grass and the patio.

Cats usually dont crap on lawns either

believe me it’s cats, they sometimes scratch up the grass a bit around it after but not always, it is cats

Can’t believe I’m justifying myself to someone on the t’interweb regarding pet crap on my lawn 🙄

I don’t think you can own cats with bombers – unless they’re the orange Z1’s.

Actually come to think of it – what about citrus repellants?

What forks for scaring off felines?

It’s funny how cat owners are so blind to the foul habits of their little menaces..

‘Ahwww, Miske Teeddles, wuudd nwever do somefing so disgustining, would you pumpkin, no you wouldn’t, awww, come here and lick me with you portable ass cleaner tongue…’

Cat’s shit pretty much wherever the hell they like. FACT.

believe me it’s cats

I believe you. Cat owners (Not all, granted) seem to think their pets are lovely clean fluffy litte things that bury a tiny bit of sweet smelling crap where nobody ever notices or will ever mind.

WRONG.

When they do bury it, they dig up freshly dug soil (Where you’ve just put some seedlings in for example) and their crap kills plants as well. And if you are gardening, it’s not nice to put your hand in it either.
When we first moved into out present house there was a small pile of leves in a corner of the patio. From under that and the patio in general I removed about a level shovelful of cat mess.
They carried on doing it, but we keep shooing them away and now they just crap on the grass further from the house.

I have nothing against cats, but a lot of the owners need to get them using litter trays. It can be done, fairly easily too. But why have a litter tray when you’re too idle to be bothered with it becasue you can turf the cat out to crap in other peoples gardens?

Cat do crap on lawns and drives, bloody things. I have a cat and it does most of its logging in its tray. Next doors however…..
I used to lob shoes at next doors cats at the bottom of the garden, usually shifted them!

Maybe the cat doesn’t like you and is having a dirty protest? Have you ever thought that may be the case?

my cats use litter trays but they still go outside to hunt and play – they don’t crap outside. just throw water on them to get shot of any pest cats, poisoning is a step too far so i hope those are really shit jokes

The thing to bear in mind is, cats are classified as “free range animals”, unlike dogs for example. So legally there is nothing you can do, other than deterr them by any reasonable means.

Is bleach reasonable?

why don’t you try – hopefully you will get arrested for being an animal killing ****

Bloody cats. They crap wherever they like and ruin the freshly-planted items in our garden.

Apparently sponge soaked in gravy is irresistible to them and it proceeds to swell while travelling through their digestive system causing a lack of life. I don’t condone this in any way, but have always kept that trinket of knowledge safe, in case someone that owns a cat severely pees me off…

Well when raked through the slate drive, it certainly disinfects the area and the smell was considerably improved.

I’m not sure I can get arrested for cleaning my drive, can I?

There’s a wide range of cat-repellents available at your friendly local garden centre. Why not try one or two of those first? You’ll need to visit somewhere like that for poison anyway. Also, you’ll probably upset someone who loves their pet very much if you kill it, and that would be sad.

Whilst we’re on the subject of pet-crap, I have to point out that at least cats don’t leave their faeces to stew in small poly bags. Sometimes its months before some unsuspecting mug finds it whilst clearing up rubbish. You even find them hanging from trees. I’m still confused as to how our local dogs manage to do that…

I really hope some of the comments on here are twisted jokes and wont actually be acted upon.

my cats use litter trays but they still go outside to hunt and play – they don’t crap outside. just throw water on them to get shot of any pest cats, poisoning is a step too far so i hope those are really shit jokes

See? There are responsible cat owners who do undertand. Well done. 🙂

I agree with your last point too. I would never want to harm a cat in any way. I don’t even like chucking water at them really.