purple monkey dishwasher

Right bunch of chinese whispers going on here.

OP‘s girlfriend was in OP‘s home, when OP‘s neighbour accessed premises without OP‘s consent, shortly after OP left the property for work, via known to be unlocked back door. When confronted by OP‘s girlfiend within in the OP‘s property, neighbour then left OP‘s property under claim door was unusually left open.

I cant be arsed reading all the mamby pamby & frankly shite responses on here. I’d go round there & give the perp a hiding that he’s not going to get over in a hurry.

How many keyboards did you pound into the ground whilst making that incredibly manly statement 🙂

You sound delightful 🙂

In fairness the OP doesn’t say that he makes a habit of leaving his house unlocked when unoccupied, his girlfriend was there.
Neighbour might have been curtain twitching and spotted him leaving without locking up.
Or, Boyfriend neighbour might just be an overly nosey bstrd (possibly to the extreme in this case), but I think if it was me I’d be cutting off all previous mutual neighbour co-existing. Sad state of affairs for the OP, any mutual trust has gone in one stupid act.

This is bollocks!

*Dons JY mask*

We share a back garden and it’s the neighbours boyfriend to be precise

So inferred then that the B/F doesn’t live there, otherwise he would be a neighbour.

we even share a shed with all of our bikes in

So the lady neighbour has lots of bikes? Not unheard of, but fairly co-incidental.

The is/was a strong feeling of trust between us.

That has troll written all over it!

Considering the back door has been open for the last five years this does not wash with me

How does the boyfriend of your neighbour (who doesn’t live there?) know this fact?

Good effort though, especially the prolific references to back doors 😀

Errr.

Rodents aside, clog wearing and armed or not…

Anyone heard from the OP since page 1 where he announced things like locks, bikes, back door and issued a stern warning?

call the Powe-lice if you’re in Scotland or the Police anywhere else in the UK

Anyone heard from the OP since page 1 where he announced things like locks, bikes, back door and issued a stern warning?

He’s gone off to sort out some sanctions and a ban from next week’s whist drive.

Any of your shoes go squelch when you put them on?

Bear, some great copy/paste action there!

Anyone heard from the OP since page 1 where he announced things like locks, bikes, back door and issued a stern warning?

Shouldn’t someone call the police.. sounds like OP got back from work, neighbors BF let himself back in the house and is now having his wicked way with the OP’s back door.

The OP probably read the posts after his perfectly reasonable response:

Bike in, doors locked and stern warning issued. ****.

and realised that whilst the neighbour is a bit nosy the forum he used to post on is frequented by properly frightening Stasiesque informers.

I’d have just made a polite request to knock and not try the door if there were no reply.

Shouldn’t someone call the police.. sounds like OP got back from work, neighbors BF let himself back in the house and is now having his wicked way with the OP’s back door.

With his GF locked to the bikes?

But you’d never of had the clog dancing ninja mice Edukator and your day would have been a little less full as a result.

Just to check, are these clog dancing ninja mice gay and/or Muslim and do they have ray guns?

Bear, some great copy/paste action there!

Flounces.

They serve our rodent overlords so I think they have access to special weapons but. you’d have to squeak to them about their religion and sexuality.

Interesting thread never heard of anyone using their neighbours Porelle socks for **** socks! Still OP will find out soon enough.

Doubt it was the first time and given the time of day I’d expect he was after some milk or a slice of bread. Plod is OTT given the circumstances. Can’t see it ever happening again but would be asking the guy to explain himself and offer some recompense as an apology.

Junkyard – lazarus
Bear, some great copy/paste action there!

Flounces.

My work here is done.

I cant be arsed reading all the mamby pamby & frankly shite responses on here. I’d go round there & give the perp a hiding that he’s not going to get over in a hurry.

How many keyboards did you pound into the ground whilst making that incredibly manly statement

You sound delightful

Flippin heck, It’s STW what were you expecting 😆

But then in true STW style the OP has disappeared.

The signs of the lesser spotted troll.

Someone posts without reading the whole thread?

Nice! Good ‘un!

This is one of the best threads in a while.

I’d go round there & give the perp a hiding

Depending on size of perp, I’d be very tempted by this course of action.

Its a bit difficult to post or even read through 4+ pages of shite while driving a van around the Midlands.

Possibly the only way to improve this thread.

Caution – Link contains many, many very rude words.

Has the OP checked his beaker yet?

Its a bit difficult to post or even read through 4+ pages of shite while driving a van around the Midlands.

What you doing? Looking for a good dumping ground for the fella wrapped in a carpet in the back of the van?

I have been chuckling all afternoon at the horrifying thought of dangerwanking aces on the loose, and “grumble” as a descriptive word for bongo films, but this –

CaptainFlashheart – Member
 
Possibly the only way to improve this thread.

… Has had me crying with laughter. Chapeau! 🙂

I’ve had junkies come into my hoose when the back door was left unlocked…very unnerving comforting one! I’d say it’s a sign of a bigger issue which the grown ups next door need to be informed about

What did he say when you spoke to him? I would be going batshitmental if that happened in my house.

If it had been my house, a quiet word would have been had, backed up by my brother and a couple of his mates from his bike club*. Nothing more than their quiet presence would be required, my brother is 6’4″, and around 18 stone.
I have been chortling like mad at the various off-topic posts; ‘ninja clogs’ 😆
*Not Angels, mostly ex or serving armed forces…

Well I’d eclair.

I was standing on a crowded train platform when I read this and literally lolled so hard that people started to move away from me.

the forum he used to post on is frequented by properly frightening Stasiesque informers.

Good point. We have obviously forgotten the lessons of history if we have forgotten what the DDR was most notorious for – repressing people that go wandering around other people’s houses uninvited.

Well that little lot just kept me entertained for a good 30 mins. Good work all.

All those suggesting calling the police – what do you think they’re going to do, blacklist the neighbour’s cats?

This is definitely the sort of thing that the Rozztafarian fundamentalists are into..

You’re the kind of person who pays with pay pal gift!

Nothing more than their quiet presence would be required, my brother is 6’4″, and around 18 stone.

I’m intruiged CZ. Would a noisy dwarf perform as well as a silent giant in this scenario?

Here’s a selection of simple truths about this matter. One of them will be correct.

1. You leave your weed lying round.
2. You have a better Sky package than he does.

Would a noisy dwarf perform as well

Well, he wouldn’t be Happy.