chipsngravy – Member
As an employer….Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

No wonder things are pearshaped, even management are on STW….

Someone at our place walks quickly past the window carrying a bit of paper min 50 times a day I sh*t you not we’ve counted them.

Does he look like this?

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKzaHilb7Vc[/video]

One invaluable windows shortcut: Alt+Tab. Takes you back to the previous window.

[Just off for a wonder around inspection of the warehouse]

*restarts PC, heads off with files again*

Its all about the stealth switch!!

One footpress and your back to work 😆

http://www.stealthswitch.com/

book club chap has just dropped off some books, so might spend a few minutes looking at them

If you work in a warehouse then hold a piece of paper and look up at the racking like you are looking for something in particular.

I see this on a daily basis 😉

Or even better, speed walk, doing loops round the racking with said piece of paper, with a stressed look on face, that’s popular at the moment too..

I prefer to hammer a load of work out for an hour or two, then have a peruse on web, then same again, do some recordable stuff for boss’ stats etc, I make sure the job gets done well, and daily workload is managed, show the odd bit of initiative to keep management happy, but would rather focus really hard and do a lot in a short space of time and have a bit of chillout than drag it out all day.

Satellite offices are ideal……….

I dont agree with staying late… I start early and leave early. I’m not here for my career. Time is my currancy, they pay me for 7.5 and I do that, if they’d wanted more they should have contracted me for me. I have better things to be doing.

Its all about the stealth switch!!
One footpress and your back to work
http://www.stealthswitch.com/

Looks just like Ghostzilla except you have to explain what the foot switch under your desk is for!

I have just had a leisurely 57 minutes whilst my manager was off on his 1 to 1 with his boss, but they will both be back in 3 minutes so I will have to put some of the above tips in action!

Its all about the stealth switch!!
One footpress and your back to work
http://www.stealthswitch.com/

If you have a mouse with extra buttons on the side then assign one of them as Alt+Tab. Job done.

Boss: Hicks, why ain’t you working?
Hicks: There’s nothing to do!
Boss: Well you pretend like you’re working!
Hicks: Why don’t you pretend I’m working. You get paid more than me, you fantasise 🙂

[goes off to make coffee]

sat in van preparing quotes on laptop after having serviced customers forklift and mobile broadband is being REALLY SLOW today 😉

[back at desk after getting coffee]

that didn’t take long.

anybody want a biscuit?

we’ve got Maryland choc chip cookies, Cadburys chocolate fingers or the dregs of a box of Roses.

I slack off loads, but still somehow manage to get the job done. This really annoys some people. Some managers get on my case about surfing or whatever I’m doing instead of working, without actually considering what I’ve ALSO done which is what they’ve asked for.

They think that if I can get my work done in 50% of the time whilst spending the rest slacking, then if I worked harder I could get twice as much done. But it doesn’t work like that, I have to have the 50% easy time to pay for the 50% hard work, otherwise my brain rebels and I lose the will entirely.

Can’t really slack in my job as everything is monitored. No internet use, can’t use your mobiles. Breaks at set times etc. sometimes there’s 40 minutes between calls, at least we can talk to each other 🙄

was just wondering – does no-one have internet monitoring by IS, seeing who spends how long on which websites, etc.

Fell foul of it a while back, where i had a multiple tab setup on my IE home page, and had STW as one tab. So even though i wasn’t on it much, it was ‘permanently’ open and thus showed that I’d spent a lot of time on it.

Now I’m a boss, I send round a reminder every now and then of ‘appropriate’ personal use of the internet, and note that use of social networking sites, etc., seem to be on the increase. Thing is – I haven’t checked at all, I don’t know, but THEY don’t know that.

Molgrips, I’m the same. I’ve tried to work solidly all day and I’m just not programmed to do it. Not desk type work anyway.

I have 3 screens (laptop + 2 monitors) when i’m in the office.

The laptop has a privacy screen on it so you can only see it from about a 30 degree angle.

That and i’m only in the office 2 days a week at the moment.

Nice 30 miles yesterday morning heh

I was however fixing shit at about 11pm last night

I used to work on the “hours hard slog, 15 minutes internet browsing” and my boss didn’t care if the work was done.

Sadly, internet usage was monitored by internal fraud. Apparently spending an average 3 hours 40 minutes a day with STW open was gross misconduct.

Pleading guilty, and being the most productive member of the team despite this (thus opening a whole other can of worms) meant that I got away with a warning.

Sent from my smartphone. In my lunch break.

*waves at the internal fraud snoopers*

I take it you’re all public sector workers?

I take it you’re all public sector workers?

Private sector here, I just made a paper aeroplane and launched it across the carpark from the third floor. It got a round of applause from the pub opposite.

*Alt tabs to stw, starts typing*
If offered always pick a desk where you can see your screen & your boss at the same time. I’m a big user of Alt tab.
*Alt tabs to a spreadsheet*

Some very good masters of the art here.
Personally i would go mad (i have a very low attention span)sitting staring endlessly at a screen prentending being busy

*starts filling in expenses forms*

Private here too.

On my way to see a very naughty boy, but have stopped off at home for lunch and a dump first. So at work but not actually at work, and whilst having a shit can’t really be described as being busy, I can see in the bathroom mirror that I look like I’m concentrating.

I’m on lunch, and once that is complete it will be back to the grind and toil.

Spreadsheet full of random data, mutter “pivot tables” to oneself at random intervals, job done.

Or, if I’m feeling a bit more technical, a handful of CAT6 cable and a determined look. Once at the comms room, relax and enjoy the sound of fans.

poo. this thread has been the kiss of death, i now have a meeting at 2pm to get a new project. haha.

well thats a relief, its ok to surf a bit but ultimately it also a bit dull. I dont know how your boss can do you for gross misconduct if you’ve told him you need more work and then gets you for surfing? what does he expect? who is doing the misconduct? yer boss for not filling your day. weird. 😉

I can’t stand not being busy and am happiest when I have loads to do. I started refusing to go to meetings a few years back as they are just a total waste of time and I just lost the will to live during them….

[checks for post]

Apparently spending an average 3 hours 40 minutes a day with STW open was gross misconduct.

Can’t really argue with that – if IT ever checked any of the threads that appear on here, a lot of us would be in trouble…

I gave up trying to look busy a while back, I usually actually am busy these days, and if I’m not that that means I’m on top of my work load and all my team are busy so it won’t be long till I am again anyway.

Also, sometimes, reading stuff on the internet is actually work anyway. so who’s to know what is work and what is not. We have people here who’s job it is to be on facebook all day – social media marketing!

I’m struggling to make myself look busy i’m that slack! Doesnt help we have a 30 year old internet browser so cant even browse the net! STW just about works!

heard a story from a family member:

Maureen retired and when inquiring to whether Maureen would be replaced the response was along the lines of “Well Barry left 6 years ago and Maureen took his corner desk, she then put up a lot of ‘personal artifacts’ shielding her desk from view, over the years she finished some projects and avoided new ones – in fact no one is sure she’s done anything for the last 3 years! We only realised when she left and asked around!”

if IT ever checked any of the threads that appear on here, a lot of us would be in trouble…

I am IT where I work. 😀