Scientists “close to growing cheese & onion pasties in laboratory”

Windfarm to be built in Cheshire salt mines

Minicabs to be fitted with indicators

Flock of sheep in self-immolation mystery

Lance Armstrong raced clean.

Tubeless in no faf use

New tyre does everything for everyone

Freddy Starr sh**ged my hamster.

Bono in charity shocker “Tell the little feckers to **** off, its my money!”

Dianas corpse to be reanimated by the Daily Mail

TJ admits he’s wrong shocker! 😀

Man impaled on bicycle handlebar.

A glass of wine a day “could reverse global warming” say scientists

‘Man with a mullet goes mad with a mallet in Millets’

Mars probe discovers orbiting teapot.

Madelaine McCann, Lord Lucan and Elvis find Hora a frame he finally likes. On the Moon

Not made up, but it’s mad! 🙂

a genuine juxtoposition- ARMS FLOWN TO NIGERIA / TRAVEL TO FRANCE ON LAST LEGS

Formula 1 to be “Scalextricised” to cut costs

Rushdie brokers deal to write Ahmadinejad’s biography

Angela Rippon’s “legs are made of plastic”

Scores hurt as low bridge hits double decker bus

“Sex identified as the leading cause of teen pregnancy.”

Police probe Leeds girls snatch

not made up,from when Inverness Caley Thistle beat Celtic

Thatcher Accepts Blame …..for EVERYTHING

“England beat Wales”

“England, bleats Wales”

Tories admit that current economy measures are really motivated by eighties nostalgia , bring back YTS under a different name and attack the falklands

Apple to release new iphone, this one has a bit of glitter on it.

New STW App

Which Tyres

“Cow Tipping” more popular than Eastenders.

David Icke was fathered by lizards

Obama revealed to have worn boot polish throughout campaign

Oprah killed Whitney

Bob Dylan to Judge X Factor

Greenpeace call for the destruction of all dogs

China decide to outsource

AdamW gets down steep hill without screaming, falling off or needing nappy.

McVities launch Arse-Biscuits

Emsz rides her bike

Perfectly formed and world renown guitarist and international beauty was seen actually getting off her arse and dusting off her bicycle before actually riding it amazed onlookers were heard saying ” surprised she can remember how to ride, she does look gorgeous though”

COE ADMITS 2012 GAMES “MADE ENTIRELY OF PAPER”.

SCHOOL BULLY FINALLY TRACKS DOWN DANNY ALEXANDER

CHIEF SECRETARY TO THE TREASURY HELD IN HEADLOCK FOR 12 MINUTES, BEFORE BEING RELIEVED OF £2.50 LUNCH MONEY AND ISSUED WITH ‘MASSIVE WEDGIE’

‘Nation in state of disbelief after bankers give back all the money’

A government-led 24hr amnesty saw thousands of bankers hand in million of ill-gotten gains at police stations around the country.

A friend of mine walk past a newspaper seller in the street one afternoon and, instead of the usual incoherent hollering, was witness to: “Man kicked to death by one-legged chicken!!”

“Octopus ate my dog & had sex with my wife”

says

drunk on bench..

Mint sauce keyring delivered in record time!!!

Aziz Rahman to marry Mark Alker in civil partnership!!

etc

Yes man says ‘no’!!!

Sheep spillage causes 8 mile tailbacks on clockwise M60 at Jctn 17.

Oh no – that one’s true. Bastard.

Genuine one from my local paper during the Monica lewinski case: “Clinton accused of shirt lifting”

it was a story about a Bill Clinton from pollokshields who had stolen a jacket and two shirts from charity shop.