Dear me. The first thing I did upon landing in both Australia and Canada was to have a huge dump in the airport toilets.
Been caught short a couple of times walking home pissed, and one time I found a wee spot under a window of an occupied room in a student halls of residence. Had to be quick and quiet, and when I looked down, they were laid out perfect like a farm gate – three cross bars and a diagonal support strut. Pure art.
The second time was beside a main road, but hidden from sight by, and I kid you not, a dumper truck which was parked beside some walkway improvement works!
One time in Oz, I got off a train during a station stop on a trans-continental trip, and decided to use the station’s facilities. Halfway through the unloading, the train decided to leave and I walked perkily back out to an empty platform!
I was not alone in this experience, and a mini-bus took twelve of us out to the desert to get back on the halted train.
Lastly, during a particularly cold winter, the water pipes in our flat froze, leaving no running water at all.
I had to perch my arse over the side of the bath and use my hands to hold open a poly bag and listen to the plop/rustle as I did my biz.
I’m LOLing as I write this….
But, you’ve no pictures and no witnesses, so you can’t prove a thing.