So I have a friend, H, I have known her for 10 years, she has a boyfriend, but once about every 20 months we meet up and do something fun i.e. go surfing for the weekend etc rather then the other type of fun, every time it's great we have a laugh and joke, and it's like we have never been apart. Then as usual we go our seperate ways and we don't talk for 20 months until we organise another trip.

To all intensive purposes she is the one that got away, and she is the person who I care about most.

So last night she rings me up and spends 4 hours telling me every single issue she's had for the last 4 years that she hasn't told anyone, getting all upset, and then she hangs up and doesn't ring me back.

I mean WTF! Am I meant to just leave it at that, or follow it up or what!

Welcome to the friendship zone.

Population you.

8)

Could mean a variety of things.

Have you ever gone further than the friend zone with her or has she ever indicated to you that she might have romantic feelings towards you?

You don't need to do anything, all she wanted you to do was listen.

We have done things which I would not do with a friend, however we have never done it.

It was just the abrupt end of the call, no goodbye or anything, my plan was to do nothing but i'm rubbish at these things. I really need to get over her

To all intensive purposes she is the one that got away, and she is the person who I care about most.

Intensive purposes? Based on meeting every 20 months you have seen her about 7 or 8 times and then don't have any contact for well over a year in between. Seems a very odd 'relationship' if you get on so well.

Why didn't you call her back and is the relationship with her boyfriend (same one for 10 years?) rocky?

Lastly, she's a women and I'm just being nosey and have absolutely no idea what could be going on in her head ❓

I admire those who play the long game.

I was obsessed with a girl called Wendy at sixth form college, I eventually pulled her at a house party in September 1996 followed by some pretty disappointing foreplay. Well, I think foreplay is a misnomer given that it didn't precede anything.

Fast forward to January 2010 and I happened to run into her in London. We went back to her house and had some pretty disappointing sex.

It just goes to show, dreams can come true! 😕

She'd probably just had a bust up, got a bit pissed, and needed to unload, You're a mate: you got it.

What do you do know?

As with any mate, give it a while; send a text or call her and ask her if she's OK

To all intensive purposes

<looks for sharp object to cut wrists>

<looks for sharp object to cut wrists>

Don't be such a damp squid. …

She simply sees you as her special 'gay' friend that she can tell anything too?

just a thought 😉

depends on if you want to **** her, be a friend or marry her

Well for the first 3 years we were at school, then a gap year, we saw each other slot, then when we went to seperate unis we startedeeting less and less.

Right I'm not a woman but I consider myself a bit of an expert in this field….

It definitely means she wants you, very much like the way the cashier in Tesco Express said 'any fuel sir' and smiled at me this morning, she clearly wanted me too.

She sees you more as a crutch and less as a crotch.

we saw each other slot

Bad speeeeling/tzping, or is this a lesbian relationship ?

It definitely means she wants you, very much like the way the cashier in Tesco Express said 'any fuel sir' and smiled at me this morning, she clearly wanted me too.

😆

, we saw each other slot,

me thinks you want to **** her!!

You saw her slot?

It definitely means she wants you, very much like the way the cashier in Tesco Express said 'any fuel sir' and smiled at me this morning, she clearly wanted me too.

You get that too? It's embarrassing really. The other day some women took my order in the sandwich shop and I had to explain to her I just wasn't ready for marriage.

Just my 2p (as a girl) she's probably having a hard time and just needs someone to talk to.

As advised above, drop her a text today and just ask if she's ok. Leave it at that.

Right I'm not a woman but I consider myself a bit of an expert in this field….

It definitely means she wants you, very much like the way the cashier in Tesco Express said 'any fuel sir' and smiled at me this morning, she clearly wanted me too.

Brilliant 🙂

EDIT: I think Cranberry has it right. She sees you more as a crutch and less as a crotch

She sees you as her gay friend and knows she can trust you not to let her stray.

Well it is obvious she sees you as a really good friend and someone 'safe' to talk with… now it could be because she fantasises about you. Or it could be because you're just always there. I have a really great friend that I only see once in a blue moon (less really) but when we do talk it's like you've said, no time seems to have passed.
I would suggest calling or giving her a text to ask her how she's doing. And if you really like her then I'd also say give it a go. (But slowly) Try to make the 'every 20 months' an every 20 weeks and then every 20 days and then maybe you can get to every 20 minutes 😉
If a woman sees you safe enough to unload emotional baggage onto then she sees you as a proper 'good guy' and it's something you can use to your advantage -as long as you don't mess it up by being a donkey!!…My 'good guy' 'emotionally safe' outlet has become my husband in part because he made sure he didn't get pushed out of my life. (Girls need to get over the idea/fantasy that they need mega macho men who whisk them off their feet and ravage them in bed every night leaving them sore in the morning just like men need to get over thinking they need to be with playboy models and women they can **** without giving something back)

Right I'm not a woman but I consider myself a bit of an expert in this field….

It definitely means she wants you, very much like the way the cashier in Tesco Express said 'any fuel sir' and smiled at me this morning, she clearly wanted me too.

I nearly fainted this morning when the 'late middle aged' cashier in Sainsburys asked if "I'd like to slip it in"
Then I realised she meant for me to put by credit card in the machine 🙂

As for the OP, text her and take it from there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk

having been in a similar situation, a simple text saying that you hope she is ok, and that she can contact you at any time, is the best option.

Yep, what hungry monkey said. Please don't leave it and just do nothing.

any decent human let alone friend would check that she's ok today…

(attach a nob pic to the txt msg also)

Slight thread hijack: Do you have a sister called Lucy??

Slight thread hijack: Do you have a sister called Lucy??

I believe this was when the thread went officially off topic.

It depends. Is your name Craig?

anagallis_arvensis – Member
depends on if you want to **** her, be a friend or marry her
POSTED 1 HOUR AGO # REPORT-POST

lol ok so what are the three different responses for the three different situations.

Perhaps I've not done this right, however I've tried on purpose not to become her friend Staying distant and not chatting about day to day stuff but letting her know that I'm always there for her, last night was the first time she has taken me up on the offer, after I kind of assumed she had moved on.

I will text her today to check and strangley I actually know what to write.

And according to the comments above it seems to me I'm universally wanted in petrol stations accross the country

I will text her today to check and strangley I actually know what to write.

what you gonna say

"hi there, would a shag make you feel better ? "

Write:

I've been thinking about you slot.

WARNING: advice provided without warranty of any kind. Using advice may lead to serious injury or death.

Ian, send her a nice text asking if she's ok today and if she wants to meet up for a chat over coffee then she just needs to ask.
If you get a nice text back call her and talk.
Don't be too distant or pushy though.

You had your chance last night and you blew it, now she has gone back to her cruel unloving boyfriend for a life of knocking out sprogs and domestic violence. While you have nothing left to do but buy a tent and a pair of cowboy boots and try to find love by recreating scenes from brokeback mountain.

While you have nothing left to do but buy a tent and a pair of cowboy boots and try to find love by recreating scenes from brokeback mountain.

Talk to Hora he'll help you with this bit.

Go round to her house, put your willy through her letterbox and shout loudly through the door that she's the one and the call last night confirmed to you that she's madly in love with you and should get to the door now.

This approach doesn't work so well if she has a dog that collects the post

I was obsessed with a girl called Wendy

That's not the one that's been in the news recently is it?