As a father of two wonderful girls, who I've just had out pony trekking, I reckon I'm thoroughly biased 
Despite all the pain, worry and heartbreak, they're the best thing thats ever happened in my life - and I reckon that the OP has just committed the the crime of cutting his nose off to spite his face 
OP - You can borrow some of mine just to see what it's like for a while...
Seriously, though, as someone said above, let her go and stop playing romantic; it might be hard to do, but as it stands, you are only prolonging the necessary split that will allow her the children she wants.
What about Gay people that want kids? How does that work?
Yours confused,
Tsk. Well obviously, that's just wrong!
What about Gay people that want kids? How does that work?
Turkey baster for the ladies. Abduction for the gentlemen.
I only know two gay couples and neither of them have bothered with children.
I was more meaning about the enjoying sex bit.
Going back on topic, the original poster shouldn't be bludgeoned with advice like "Go on, have kids. I love mine". Having been there, it doesn't help.
FWIW...
do you like having sex ?if the answer is yes, then subconsciously you want kids.
Do you like masturbating? If the answer is yes, then subconsciously you don't want kids.
my thoughts exactly. i must really not want kids. 
Just to add a different angle here. Just because one or the other person wants kids doesn't necessarily mean they will be able to have them.
EDIT - what i'm saying is its a dodgy premise to bin a relationship (or indeed proceed with one) on the basis that you will definitely be able to give her a child and vice versa.
Tough call OP but I think you've already made your mind up mate.
Turkey Baster yeti. Take a look at mumsnet - theres whole threads worth of women using them and not just those in same sex relationships.... 
i've read through this thread with some interest.
it's a tough one, isn't it.
i think it might be the only thing (that i can see on the horizon) that could come between the GF and myself.
i'm 28, she's 29. right now is a bad time for her anyway as she has more-or-less finished her degree and is now heading off into the big wide world of work and careers...
her sister popped one out the other month and her best friend did so last week.
i'm sort of hoping that the stress, inconvenience and pile of shitty nappies that a new-born brings will convince her that she is better off without one.
and why do people get caught up on this new-born baby smell? the only smell that i got caught up on last week made me want to vomit and open the windows....
there was a time - before anyone i knew had one - that i though it'd be great having kids; a mini-me, a chance to improve the gene pool world, frisbee in the park, stay at home dad, etc., but all that was before i saw first hand the reality of kidizenship.
my best mate accidentally employed his GF as an embryo nursery. now the lad is three years old and he is great. it's fun taking him to the park (girls love men with babies), throwing him in the pool, strapping him onto the BOB trailer and tanking him up on coke and haribos before giving him back to his parents. but he's not mine. i'm only babysitting him (i know, i guess his folks are desperate and can't afford someone responsible). part-time dad works fine. (actually i remember the time i was carrying him on my shoulders through town and he began pissing himself. not fun, but it was surpassed by the time he shat runny brown liquid all over his dad).
it was seeing my mate go from a selfish individual who's decision making process was along the lines of "me, me, me, me, GF" to "baby, baby, GF, baby, baby, GF, GF, me".
he no longer had time to do the things he enjoyed. biking went from 2-3 times a week to once every 2-3 weeks. frivolous spending went out the door at about the time the baby bed came in.
they are now financially much poorer (literally bread line) and have hardly any time for friends and family.
and this is my problem. i enjoy being me. deep down i'm a selfish git (the GF would agree with this, although i doubt she's looking as deep as i am) and base my 90% of my decisions on what i want to do. i like being able to go ride when i want, stay in bed when i want/can and spend my money on what i want.
and it isn't just the first few years of crap filled nappies, piss stained sheets, whining and restless nights. i'm more concerned by the next 18 years after that; finding a nursery, finding a good school, homework, holidays, evening spent running to sports clubs, finding another good school (secondary school, not because they got expelled though that, too, is an option), jobs/career, etc... my parents haven't stopped worrying about me (perhaps with good reason) for all my years.
but then again, if it did happen then i'm sure i wouldn't despise the child and that i would love them. i may even end up saying that it was the best thing that ever happened to me... i know my mum and dad say so, but it sure is a lot of effort for what (from my perspective) they get out.
and, an odd one this, but i'm not sure i want to put that much pressure onto someone. i didn't ever want to be born. not something that i had much of a choice in, but now i'm here i'm having to deal with all of life's pressures.
isn't having kids partly a selfish act in itself? you bring someone into this world, lump all these pressures on their shoulders completely without their asking....
At the end of the day it is the only reason you are here!
no it isn't... well, from a biological point maybe, but we're beyond that now. i'd say the no. 1 reason you are here is to have fun.
and...
do you like having sex ?
if the answer is yes, then subconsciously you want kids.
says who? freud? what if you like having sex with animals? or men? or with your woman but like you would with a man?
I never saw myself as having children. Been with the missus for two years now and we're trying for our first. She's desperate for them and I've come round to the idea. I think spending time looking after her godchildren and this helped alot in me changing my mind, can't wait now to start a family.
sweepy - Member
Dez B, the only option you give with a positive outcome is have the kid and love it
I think you missed the some, "..." and the possibilities are endless parts.
Going back on topic, the original poster shouldn't be bludgeoned with advice like "Go on, have kids. I love mine".
Why not? Especially if it's coming from people who felt the same as he did in their twenties? It's just the polar opposite from the "Yep no chance. Delete her number and run a mile" type posts. And if that's worked for you, no reason not to share your experiences either. The best way forward for the OP has to be to think incredibly deeply about what he wants. Input from all sides is valuable.
I think iDave's comment about seeing her in 5 years with a small child is a good one. You'd want to weigh up lots of those kinds of scenarios in your mind. Examine the reasons why you don't want children and think whether any of them would be altered by the relationship you have to give up on. Or maybe just roll a dice?
You must log in to post.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
