I accept I may be called sad/deperate/a bunny boiler, but here goes.

How sad is it for a girl to propose to a guy?

Not now, but in the leap year of course.

Why is it any different to the other way around?

It really isn't and shouldn't be. Do it.

The idea that only men can propose is (a) hideously patriarchal and (b) a pain in the arse for men, who have to do it "as a surprise" after they've been ordered to and on condition of shelling out a month's wonga for diamonds. It's a brave blow for sex equality and the more women that do it the happier we'll all be.

That said, it's conceivable he hasn't asked because he doesn't want to, but that's a risk you take.

Good luck. 🙂

That said, it's conceivable he hasn't asked because he doesn't want to, but that's a risk you take

Yeah – call his bluff 😉

More women should have the balls to do it.

BTW my wife proposed to me, but not until after I had proposed to her and she had taken weeks to decide whether she wanted to say yes. When I had all but given up hope of her deciding she proposed back with a Love Heart sweet – apparently she had bought loads of packets until she got one with 'Marry me' on it.

🙂

Just grab the bull by the balls and say marry me or bog off.

I'm surprised at the responses, I was expecting "run for the hills it's a sad 30 year old!"

Now the question is do I go for a ring, a bike, so some engraved disc brakes?

We can be grown up and sensible sometimes.

I would say traditional and a ring. And if he hangs up it means no 😉

I'm surprised at the responses; I was expecting "run for the hills it's a sad 30 year old!"

Give it time, your post has only been up for 28 minutes!

do I go for a ring

There is absolutely no need to go for anything, I'd say. The whole expensive ring thing is part of the same medieval attitude to womens' personal autonomy that says the man should ask her father's permission first – putting down a marker on her, and as a guarantee of financial provision. It's ghastly, and the fact that so many otherwise emancipated women go all gooey over it is tragic in the extreme.

If you're going to do engagement rings at all then both ought to wear them, but that leaves the wedding ring with no symbolism attached at all. Something that you both wore might be nice – leather bracelet maybe? 🙂

The wife proposed to me via DHL 10am next day delivery and e-mail so I might be a little biased but I think it's great.

Sorry, I may be on a rantette… 🙂

If that's what you want, do it. If it is what you want, why would you wait for a leap year? I don't personally think having a mystic read out incantations or a minor local government officer witness an unenforcable contract adds a lot to my relationship though, but I'm a hopeless old romantic aren't I?

but I'm a hopeless old romantic aren't I?

It doesn't work for all, but some people like to show their commitment to each other.

And have a big party.

25th Unniversary party coming up in October here…

Is it someone off here?

I hope so, I do love a wedding. When the big day happens us keyboard warriors can all sit at home in our best hats.

Part of waiting for 2012, was so I could do it at the Olympic mtb event, was thinking of booking us a nice place to stay, and popping the question either the night after,or maybe during one of the races. Or is that a bit too odd?

as for the is it someone off here…. it may be 😉

I don't personally think having a mystic read out incantations or a minor local government officer witness an unenforcable contract adds a lot to my relationship

Maybe not, but it will affect your bank balance and future wellbeing when you split up.

But then I'm not a hopeless romantic! 😉

My wife proposed to me (in a "fancy a holiday in St Lucia?" type way). We've only lasted 16 years 1 day of marriage, so far 🙂

Propose to him?

<subtle hint that you have outmoded and sexist ideas>

Pah – next thing you'll be expecting to vote, and everyone knows that women's brains are smaller and overheat if they have to think too hard.

</subtle hint that you have outmoded and sexist ideas>

Go for it. Rings are good – I love wearing my wedding ring although on the wrong hand since bending my ring finger 90 degrees the wrong way 🙁

OOh how exciting. I wasn't brave enough.

Thanks for the support guys, be on the look out for a he accepted/rejected post in about 2 years time 🙂

Whilst no-one really considers a woman proposing to a man sad or desparate, am I the only one that thinks that planning a proposal 2 years in advance is a little unusual?

I might be wrong but I guess alot women in a relationship have considered what they would say if their man proposed. Mainly due to convention.

Where as if a Man hasn't proposed he might not be thinking about marriage at all. So it might come as a big shock to him and he might not really be ready to give an answer.

Also you seem to be putting alot of planning into this idea and therefore possibly money, what happens if he proposes to you beforehand or even at the same event ?

Propose now.. life is short.
You must care about him enough to contemplate it.

How will waiting until 2012 improve things?

Why not propose now?

Is there a reason other than "leap year"?

I think it sounds like a romantic idea, go for it, whenever & wherever you chose!

as for the is it someone off here…. it may be

Ooooh, is it TJ? Have you met him yet or just falled for him after readin his contributions on here?

if he's on here start a "will you marry me in two years time" thread, easy peasey

Way back in the last millennia – my then girlfriend and I decide that we would buy a house, now her mum was a stickler for been proper – living together in a flat at the other side of Leeds was one thing, but doing it a couple of miles down road was quite another. We, for our part where quite happy co-habiting, you know you don’t need a piece of paper and all that.
Anyway Mrs BNS been a good girl and her mother been somewhat fearsome, suggested one day as we walked past the registry office that we popped in and see about getting married
So I’m sat there in a not so comfy chair wondering when she was going to say it was all a joke and we would run out hand in hand laughing. Then I’m sat in this blokes office, talking dates and stuff – I’m thinking the my beloved is really pushing the envelope on this joke (I’ll just sit back and call her bluff)
6 weeks later I’m stood in front of a registrar with friends and family all around, saying that I will – full of respect for my apparently new wife for her ability to push a joke to it limits.
Now we are 22 years and two kids down the line, and she still not told me that its all a joke.
On reflection It’s entirely possible that I was sort of proposed to

A bit like the girl at work.

Boyfriend proposed last week.

When are you planning the wedding says I.

Sometime next year…, they've been together 6 years already!

I thought it was traditional for women to propose on valentines day?

Whenever my GF talks about engagement rings (we've been together 8 years so I think she's hinting at something) I mention the various engagement bikes I would like. Otherwise I see it as a waste of money, much rather spend the money on a nice holiday.

[chuckling gently at breakneckspeed] 🙂