Loosely influenced by this;
http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

What would the MTB version be?

Thou shalt not wear white socks. That should be in there, I reckon.

Rules are for roadies.

Carry the kitchen sink.

The opposite of roadie rules.

No matter how “elite” you think you are, you’re really not.

Most of those rules apply to MTBs too.

Only 7, 11, 22, 31, 32, 33 don’t apply to MTB, in the first 50 anyway I got bored after that.

Thou shalt not wear white socks. That should be in there, I reckon.

I always thought this was a general rule, not just specific to cycling

jmason, white socks are permissable when partaking in sporting endeavours. That are not riding a mountain bike. In any other situation? Beheading is the only acceptable approach.

You shall not listen too idiots on the internet. 😀

No white socks? I went out on Friday in black jersey, shorts, shoes and gloves. All of this with white socks. Have I crossed a line?

You shall not listen too idiots on the internet.

Oh, teh ironing!

😉

No ride is complete without 30 minutes faffing about beforehand. Extra points for faffing on tasks that could easily have been completed in the previous 2 days

No ride is complete without 30 minutes discussing proper wheels vs 29ers. Extra points for never having riden the one you are dismissing

It is compulsory to shout “Pro Elite rider coming through” when overtaking

Remember, failing to get up/down any stretch of trail is a failure of your equipment and in no way reflects badly upon you

Overtaking without slapping the arse of the other rider is, in fact, not overtaking at all

fight club rules. that way we can preserve cheeky trail riding.

If we were to make MTB rules….

Why?

Where component come in pairs, they must match in both manufacturer and colour. [/OCD]

Too many rules in life already. Isn’t that a lot of why most of us ride mtb anyway ?
I’m way to old to be trying to make a big contribution to any revolution, but screw the rules.
Oh yeah , I tried racing and truly hated it, but that was only last year.
I’m in this to ride for meself and with me mates, that’s all the rules I need.
Oh ! and a map and some talent 🙄

Someone’s already had quite a good crack at this:

25 Rules of the Trail: Commandments of Mountain Biking

Why are we riding today? Because today ends in a y.

Thou shall not tell of how good you used to be,when clearly you aren’t any more.
Thou shall not tell everybody they won’t see you for dust on the downhill, then hold others up.
Thou shall not blame the above on chain coming off when nobody else has witnessed it.

Joy, more IT middle management pointlessness from leased German car drivers with massive inferiority complexes.

Thou shalt brake evenly and not rape the trail.

Thou shalt denounce any fork with the logo bomber on it, except for beating people with.

aP – Member
Joy, more IT middle management pointlessness from leased German car drivers with massive inferiority complexes.
POSTED 36 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

…..or just a bit of fun.

The Rules Of FAFF
1) Faffing to be kept to a minimum.
2) If you faff, expect abuse.
3) Preride faffs are to be kept short, riders can be left and made to catch up if excessive faffing occurs. The Pre-ride faffing also determines the Faff Order (see point 5).

4) Faff Stops.
a) A rider can call a faff stop assuming its his turn in the Faff Order.
b) Whilst the Calling Rider is faffing, other riders may pre-emptive faff.
c) However the Pre-emptive faffing will cease as soon as the Calling Rider is ready to ride.

5) The Faff Order
a-i) The faff order is determined by the order in which riders are ready to ride.
a-ii) Ready to Ride means astride Bike, with camelbak and helmet on.
b-i) Alternatively the Faff order is determined by the order in which people arrive at the start of the group ride when the riders are arriving by bike.
b-ii) However if a rider starts to faff at the meeting point delaying the start of the group ride they are automatically placed last in the Faff Order.

6) Mechanical Faffs
a) A mechanical Faff can only be called outside of the normal Faff Order rules if the mechanical makes the unrideable
b) Whether the bike is unrideable is decided by the rest of the group not the would be Faffer.
c) The quickest method of fixing the mechanical must be taken. eg Replace the tube don’t patch it.

7) Picture Faffs
a) Entirely acceptable as long as the group is not held up.
b) No pre-emptive faffing can take place on a Picture Faff.

8) Sneaky Faffs
a) Sneaky Faff’s are acceptable as long as the sneaky Faffer, sprints ahead of the pack and finishes their faff before the pack catches up.
b) Sneaky Faff’s are only for food and clothing faffs.

9) Extreme weather Faffs
a) If the weather changes in the extreme, an Extreme Weather Faff can be called and one and all can put jackets on in the case of a downpour.
b) Drizzle or the sun coming from behind a cloud do NOT count as extreme weather.

10) Faffing during scheduled food stops.
a) Any faffing particularly of the mechanical kind should take place whilst people are eating.
b) Unless the faffer is the next in the Faff Order, when he/she can spend his/her turn.

11) Medical faff’s
a) Medical Faffs can be taken out of turn but:
b) No blood, no Faff
c) Unless your Ashmatic/HayFevery/or something similarly annoying.
d) Glasses faffs don’t count for out of turn Faffs.

The Rules of Faff in action.

4 Riders arrange to meet for a ride, they are all arriving by car, they all arrive at roughly the same time.
Ian is ready to ride first, then Dan, then Mike (despite his loose headset faff), the final rider to be ready is Lex because he had reassemble his freeride bike with thru-axle hubs after fishing it out of his car.

So the Faff order is:
Ian
Dan
Mike
Lex

Everyone is riding along happily, Ian want’s to take his jacket off so calls a Faff stop. There is other faffing with jackets. We continue riding. Dan gets hungry 20 minutes later and calls a faff and eats something, meanwhile Lex adjusts his gears but as he gets it done while Dan is eating, thats fine.
Later, Mike realises his headset has come loose again and calls a faff to fix it.

Ian gets a puncture and its agreed that it should be fixed, so Ian replaces the tube quickly and efficiently and we are on our way with a minimal about of Faff.

The Heavens open so an Extreme weather faff is called and jackets are on.

Lunchtime, everyone eats but Lex is still unhappy with his gears so he quickly eats and adjusts his gears again whilst the others enjoy a leisurely rest stop.

The weather has improved so at the end of lunch jackets are taken off and we are back on track, with the weather clearing, several photo faffs are taken.

It should be noted that if a hip-flask is passed around during any stop for any reason, these do not count as faffs and indeed, are to be encouraged.

Joy, more IT middle management pointlessness from leased German car drivers with massive inferiority complexes.

I’ll think you’ll find I don’t work in IT.

the only rule is , smile, it’s your leisure time

Rules are for roadies.

The thread should’ve stopped there )

Or, if we were talking about the spirit of mtb guidelines, then there’s a few imo.

Self-sufficiency of riders is a must, even in a group.

Respect and care of your riding environment is a must – littering is a crime, skidding is not cool and tearing past others on bikes, foot or horses is idiotic.

Faffery is just that. Mechanicals are part of riding but faffing says minor, unimportant adjustments get in the way of your riding, that’s not good. It’s not about the bike.

The best rides usually involve hike-a-bike – otherwise the terrain isn’t that challenging. The best rides involve real mountains thf hike-a-bike sections. Even 10ft of trail you can’t ride is enough – one day you might. Having said that, a nice easy dirt road can take you to memorable places.

2hr rides are ok, but all-day epics are much better.

Technology is fine, but we don’t want to hear about your damping settings being out on that last section, etc

Read a little about the greats, simply for inspiration – the Cranes on Kili, the Tomac attack, Overend, Tinker, Curiak, Stamstad, Aiden on STW, etc. Yes one of those is a ‘normal guy’ to many here. Maybe you can do it too )

Endless debate over what works and what’s rubbish is all good, especially if your opinions are skewed purely to windup your mate based on his new bike decision.

Stopping at the end of each section for too long breaks up the flow of the ride – keep it moving people..

Sitting on hilltops for a chat and a gaze is much under-rated. A good part of a ride.

Some riders buy very expensive bikes and ride like a bag of cement.
It’s fine, they just have more money than you. Accept it and trot on. Quietly.

Some riders have an old creaky nail of a bike and they will use it to rip your legs off uphill and scare you silly downhill. Accept it and be inspired )

Jedi is right. Smile )

ps, I like the faff regulations, i will send those to someone I know ..

It should be noted that if a hip-flask is passed around during any stop for any reason, these do not count as faffs and indeed, are to be encouraged.

hear hear, but during daytime or winter night ride? If ‘daytime’, I salute you but would be careful on your rides!

Joy, more IT middle management pointlessness from leased German car drivers with massive inferiority complexes.

100% baited into expecting GW’s trolling.

I’d rather have etiquette than rules.

You should not turn up on a ride with a liability of a bike, it should be in good working order.

You should offer to lend a hand in the event of mechanical.

It may “only be a bike” and “mountain bikes do get scratched and damaged” but when handling other peoples bikes you should do so with care. Riding damage is acceptable, having your stanchions scratched by a muppet throwing his bike on top in the boot of a car is not.

You should always turn up with clean clothes when travelling in someone elses car.

You should always offer petrol money

You should always carry enough food/water and spared to get round a ride.

You should step off the main trail if you legs and skills are not up to riding up or down the hill.

You should be patient of slower riders in front of you when they are attempting to ride.

Riding up hill is a very important part of mountainbiking. If you can’t ride up hills then you aren’t a very good rider. Even pro downhillers are fit and train on xc/road bikes.

All cycling is good. Today I’m on my full suss in baggies with flats, tomorrow with lycra and spds in a race, the day after the SS and I’ll be riding on the road at the weekend and the cross bike through winter. I occasionally like to tour and like a nice ride along the canal path too. There is no “us” and no “them”.

The reason you can’t ride that section is your lack of skill not equipment.

The first rule of Mountain Biking is you dont talk about the rules of Mountain Biking!

The second rule of Mountain Biking is you dont talk about the rules of Mountain Biking!!!

The third rule of Mountain Biking is that if you havent crashed your not riding hard enough.

All cycling is good. Today I’m on my full suss in baggies with flats, tomorrow with lycra and spds in a race, the day after the SS and I’ll be riding on the road at the weekend and the cross bike through winter. I occasionally like to tour and like a nice ride along the canal path too. There is no “us” and no “them”.

.. is a good one. ‘MTBs’ started out being known also as ‘ATBs’. The more ‘all terrain’ in a bike the better imo. Doing 10 mile TTs on a 1990 marin with scott AT4s and fatboy slicks may have been a step too far though.. or maybe not.

I like jonba’s etiquette.

You should always offer petrol money

And when it’s refused (it probably will be) give beer.

And when it’s refused (it probably will be) give beer. cake

They’re dirving remember!

jedi – Member
the only rule is , smile, it’s your leisure time

This +1

Do not drop litter

Respect other people and the environment

thats about all I can think of on a MTB, chill and enjoy.

Rule 1: Don’t be a dick

Rule 1: Don’t be a dick

That’s life rule No1, so automatically applies to riding (and everything else).

Do not drop litter

Respect other people and the environment
I reckon this about covers it. I wouldn’t want riding bikes in the woods to be as elitist as road riding.

Rule 1: Don’t be a dick

I’m sure I’ve heard that one somewhere before 🙂

And jameso is in danger of making me blush.

A couple of contributions

Shock pressures are not to be adjusted on a group ride.

Listen. To nature, to the other riders, to your bike. No-one wants to hear your mouth flapping all day

Rule 1: Don’t be a dick

That’s life rule No1…

Hear hear. An awful lot of people appear to have not heard about that, unfortunately.

Have we done “Don’t ride without handlebar end caps”? That’s my nomination if we haven’t.