for my LBS mechanic otherwise I won't get my bike back!
HELP!!
Bike Forum
I need an hilarious joke for tomorrow......
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Posted 5 months ago #
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I went to the zoo today....and all they had was ONE dog.
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It was a shihtzu.(Well,I'm a mechanic and it makes me laff.)
Posted 5 months ago # -
Did you hear about the prawn that went to a disco?
It pulled a mussel
Posted 5 months ago # -
If its for a bike mechanic then try these....
'I've never jetwashed it'
'It broke when I was just riding along'
'My last one lasted 10 years'
'Of course it's warranty'
'It is new...I've only had it 2 years'
'It should only take you 10 minutes'
'Well it was'nt like that when I brought it in'
Although he may have heard all them before
Posted 5 months ago # -
Where did Noah keep the bees?
In archives.Posted 5 months ago # -
why not try a really old one:
Posted 5 months ago # -
An hilarious?
You mean a hilarious.
Posted 5 months ago # -
druidh - Member
Can be written as an...related to the pronunciation/sound of the word following 'an', iirc. Words beginning with 'h'...
An hilarious?You mean a hilarious.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Oh Druid, you are ilarious!
Need more!!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Can be written as an...related to the pronunciation/sound of the word following 'an', iirc. Words beginning with 'h'...
You use 'an' if the proceeding word starts with a vowel sound (but not necessarily a vowel), and 'a' if it doesn't.
So it would be 'an hour' but 'a helicopter'.
On that basis, Druidh is correct (if pedantic).
Posted 5 months ago # -
Druidh is 'a' hilarious ......
Posted 5 months ago # -
Stems from the french where UIVMM the letter H is actually a vowel. It has obviously filtered into English over the years.
Also, Welsh makes a lot more sense once you know W is a vowel.Posted 5 months ago # -
Druidh is 'a' hilarious .....
Getting back on topic, I came up with this LOLtastic gag the other day:
What do you call a medical examiner who really likes Muller yoghurt? A fruit coroner.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Actually, have you seen Anti Joke? It takes classic joke setups but drops the punchline for a literal answer. Here are a few examples:
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.
Your mother's so fat, she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
Also has some pretty good 'Roses are red...' gags:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have Alzheimer's.
Cheese on toast.Posted 5 months ago # -
why did popeye give moses as kicking?
'cos he went to mount olive
Posted 5 months ago # -
what do you call a monkey in a mine field?
A baboom
Posted 5 months ago # -
knock knock
who's there
control freak, now you say control freak who...Posted 5 months ago # -
Ashfanman's winning!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Particle Physics gives me a Hadron
Posted 5 months ago # -
My snail wasn't doing very well in the race I entered him for, so I decided to remove his shell to see if it helped him speed up
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TNH - Just made him more sluggishIGMC
Posted 5 months ago # -
A policeman knocks at a door, and holding up a photo, asks "Is this your wife? It looks like she's been in a car accident"
I know, replies the husband, but she's got a great personality.
Posted 5 months ago # -
What do you call a fish with no eye
a fsh
(better if you say it)
Posted 5 months ago # -
Did you hear the one about anal sex? ...
.....I'm not telling you, it's fugging shitPosted 5 months ago # -
I bought a dog off a blacksmith the other day.
When I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field.
What's E.T. short for? He's only got little legs.
Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo.
I said to the butchers "I bet you can't reach that meat on the top shelf" He said "I won't take that bet, the steaks are too high"
Posted 5 months ago # -
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned in to a field.
Posted 5 months ago # -
ph0010421
We have a winner!Posted 5 months ago # -
I invested in an origami company recently....
...worst mistake of my life...
...it folded
Posted 5 months ago # -
Velcro
What a rip- off!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Tazzy and his monkey joke is the only one that made me laugh out loud.
Posted 5 months ago # -
What do you call an irish double glazing salesman?
Paddy O'Doors.
What do you call a Mexican carpet layer?
Underlay Underlay!
What do you call a Pakistani sprinter?
Imran.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Dunno who posted this originally;
Man goes home to his wife and says "I fancy a bit of role play tonight, how about we play rape" wife says "NO!", husband says " that's the spirit"Posted 5 months ago # -
Two cows in a field
One went Moo
The other one went
You bastard, I was just about to say thatTwo ducks on a pond
One went quackTwo pigs in a......
Posted 5 months ago # -
Q:how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
A:None
Posted 5 months ago # -
Watch out- shut down thread alert!!!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience, He asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.
The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord." A bit irritated by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.
The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord!" Well now truly irritated that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability. Stevie says to him from the stage "OK, mister, you get up here and do it!" The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing... "A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."
you have to stretch it out and pretend you aren't just a little bit racist.
Posted 5 months ago #
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