do I get away with murder? hoovering, bed making, hang washing out, ironing and washing up ( most of which is then re done by er indoors due to my lack of standards.. her words not mine) we both work and have 2.2 kids ( and two guines pigs)

None at all here

As little as I can get away with, and living by myself I get get away with most things.

If she still lets you do it, despite it being sh*t, you’re not sh*t enough. Get sh*tter, then you won’t have to do it at all.

😀

I do all the cooking in our house (including making breakfast and preparing lunches), so I also handle kitchen cleaning (washing up, cleaning oven etc)

mrs deals with everything else.

Except Hoovering – that’s gadget related and therefore a man’s job.

All the planning, buying and cooking of food, the dishes, the hoovering, the laundry. I don’t iron.

She, however, brings in all the money, so all’s fair.

You don’t have staff? How frightful? And work too? However do you cope?

I struggle enough trying to fit in both my lunch appointments and shopping.

I beat my domestics with sticks unless they measure up to my outrageously exacting demands

As little as possible and I live on my own daughter. I hate house work but I have to do it. 🙁

Hoovering and Stacking the dishwasher – mainly due to her lack of spatial awareness causing the dishes to come out dirty.

I live on my own daughter.

Is that legal?

is that some sort of slang for island?

Most of it. I’m pussywhipped helpful.

I hoover and clean the floors while Mrs MM will dust and clean the bathroom. If she’s away or busy then I’ll do it all.

I also do all the cooking throughout the week too as she works longer hours than me.

What a good husband I am. 😀

mainly due to her lack of spatial awareness causing the dishes to come out dirty.

That’s fantastic. Next time I have something come out dirty I’ll blame a lack of spatial awareness too.

LOL @militant

I do almost all the cooking and we sort of share tidying/cleaning etc as and when we need to (normally when we have guests).

Mrs M does pretty much all the washing (although I like putting clothes out to dry outside when it is nice).

We barely ever iron – just pull things to shape when hanging them up.

I have shirts that were washed a year ago and still in a pile needing ironing. We both hate ironing so we just avoid doing it at all costs.

All laundry, bed changing, most of the washing up and all the DIY and bike related stuff. She does all the cooking and she’s also banned me from the supermarket.

That’s fantastic. Next time I have something come out dirty I’ll blame a lack of spatial awareness too.

😆

Work hard and pay cleaners

she’s also banned me from the supermarket

I would kill for that to happen.

I can provide a list of things to do which will yeild that result.

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO’S Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was sent by Tesco’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in housewares….. and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible’ theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the ‘Madonna look’ using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled ‘PICK ME!’ ‘PICK ME!’

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again.’

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, ‘There is no toilet paper in here.’

I do most of it – but I work less hours that Mrs TJ

Very very little. Her domain is indoors and mine is outdoors. So i do the bins, garden etc and she gets the lovely tasks of cooking, ironing, washing and the rest.

It works for us.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

LOL

TandemJeremy – Member

I do most of it – but I work less fewer hours than Mrs TJ

🙂 HTH

seen that ‘tescos’ letter on the internet before but on costco headed paper IIRC… still… some funny stuff 🙂

Tiger6791 – Member
TandemJeremy – Member
I do most of it – but I work less fewer hours than Mrs TJ

HTH

😛

Edit – you and your sneaky edit 😀

I do the laundry and the dishwasher. We have a cleaner for the hoovering, etc. Better half does the shopping. Both work long hours, she is away from home all week so this seems to the best option.

I was banned from shopping by the better half got about 10 years.
– Week 1 : bought so much stuff that needed two trolleys and would not fit in the cupboards
– Week 2 : having listened to the complaints bought barely enough stuff to last a couple of days
– Week 3 : trolley full of beer, crisps, more junk food, all the stuff you want but normally don’t get.

And so on until Week 6 where shopping responsibility was removed from me! Sadly my ban has lapsed!

TandemJeremy – Member

I do most of it – but I work lessfewer hours thatn Mrs TJ

There. FTFY 😀

Lots, in fact there

Cooking – Me, I don’t want food poisoning so Mrs Lunge does’t cook
Kitchen cleaning – As I cook I also clean, though she does dot he wasing up
Shopping – See above, as I write the menu’s, I buy the food
Hovering – Me, it’s a gadget so it’s mans work
Bathrooms and bedroom – Mrs L, I don’t do a good enough job apparently
Washing and Ironing – I wear shirts and suits to work that need ironing so this is mine as well.

Under the thumb? Me? Yes.

all of mine and most of my GFs (don’t even live with her) I’m way better at it, and shopping for a family.

I drive her to wherever she needs/must/wants to go, look after our daughter, make coffee, make a mess, brew tea, make lunch, iron, do bathrooms and the kitchen, clean after the cat (we live in a flat), hoover at times, go shopping and buy what was on offer (Bells last time), wash the car.
She whinges, whines, complains, criticises, watches Eurovision but I love her arse so it’s ok.

Cleaning – but I’m not really fastideous
Clothes washing – but nothing gets ironed
Food-prep, cooking and washing up – but I’m no Heston Blumenwhatsit
Hoovering – bi-weekly
Maintenance – only when needed
Food shopping – weekly
Car washing – monthly
Gardening – limited to mowing the weeds

She’s not physically able to help out much but fortunately is quite tolerant of my sloppy man-standards. But between work and housework, my riding time is limited to a half-day at a weekend, or the odd hour and half from the front door. At least I don’t have to travel far for decent trails. And I also just got a road bike which is good for sub-one-hour breaks for freedom.

I’m living with a mate and I’m known as Monica (if its not at a right angle its a wrong angle). We decided to get a cleaner once a week that does the stuff we don’t want to (which to my housemate means everything), for an extra £20 she’ll do it in her maids outfit!

Our general rule is, whoever was using the room, should empty it before going to bed.

We are the envy of our friends (mainly the women), as we have a spotless gadget house!

By the sounds of it some of you are pussywhipped in comparison to most of my friends, but then some of my friends are very lazy or extremely useless! 😆

Especially for Monica 😉

Washing up 80;20 mw.
Cooking 90:10 Mrs mw
Hoovering/cleaning up: 50:50
Gardening:70:30 Mrs mw
Laundry 90:10 mw
Shopping 70:30 Mrs mw
Ironing 0. we don’t iron.

Works for us.

At the old palce, we had cleaners. That was ace.

Now, we don’t and TBH supervising Dr North looking after the baby and doing all the housework can be rather tiring. So I get her to bring me beer*

*In real life, we share, though I often feel I don’t pull my weight enough.

What is this ‘housework’ horror of which you speak??? 😯

Now and then I’ll have a tidy up when I can no longer see the carpet, or have tripped over the same discarded item umpteen times…

Washing up gets done when it’s difficult to discern what meal I’m actually having from all the other grime on the plate.

Life’s too short to waste it on housework ffs.

All of it. Washing, cooking cleaning. everything.

Oh god as little as possible, I loathe it. I outsource my housework, washing and ironing to some lovely eastern European woman, I eat out or order in almost every day. My fridge has hardly got anything in it but I figure the supermarket is always open. Some blokes from the council mow my lawns. Some blokes come and detail the cars. I am a complete class traitor and a lazy b*stard too, works for me 🙂