I dont normally use it but today I needed to use the car for work. So dropped my wife of at her workplace.

On the way to work I see a girl I vaguely know who works opposite.. Not exactly displeasing to the eye but still. Our paths have crossed and we’re going to the same place so I do the polite thing and give her a lift. Not two minutes later I run into another car.. This car just happens to be driven by a friend of my wife. Not only that.. the job I needed the car for has been cancalled.

So I have to explain to the wife that, I have smashed her car up going to a none existent job and I happened to have a hot blonde by my side.

🙁

Dead man walking.

We have a dead man walking.

Good luck

Lets us know how you get on

no matter how you explain it, she will want to know why you stopped to even pick the blonde up and what she was doing to you to cause you to crash.

was anybody hurt?

shit situation dude, i feel for you!

I wouldnt bother going home!!

That bit of gear you picked up this morning, she single??

Hahahahaha.

Hope she didn’t bite on impact….. 😯

was anybody hurt?

Not yet.. but I still have to go home 🙁

does she look like….?

glupton1976 – Member

Hahahahaha.

Such sympathy for a man in need!

Just another example of the law of Sod, but seriously, good luck. Really wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now.

Practicing your alibi on us eh?

how long have you been married and is it coming up to that time where you’d be trading in for a younger model anyway?

you could just accuse the wife’s friend of being on drugs, causing the accident whilst tripping, and that she spent half the time you were trying to get any sense out of her talking to an imaginary person 8)

Practicing your alibi on us eh?

Thats the thing.. It’s all true yet looks SO bad.

Don’t worry, your wife will read this thread and her mind will be put at rest. Probably.

tell her the truth as it is the truth

thats a horrible idea junky! convincing the wife that her friend hallucinates blondes and caused the accident will ensure that they probably stop talking long enough to dispose of the blonde

You should definitely try to initiate intercourse with the hot blonde.
Your wife is going to think you’re at it anyway and, well; Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

megalolz at wrecker.

hmm, new expression: “Bambi Boiler” then?

hung like a horse thank you x

Did you remember to do up your flies before exchanging details?

Mucho respect if you then continued on your journey with the hot blonde AND your wife’s friend due to you writing off her car (providing she was also hot).

Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

Are you trying your story out on us before trying it on the wife? Most people seem to be buying it, so that’s good 🙂

i aint! this is a fantastically epic lie.

but i like it.

if i was his mrs i’d definitely laugh. and then throw him out.

when you say “works opposite” is that opposite you in the office or in a building opposite your work place?

if its the latter, you are screwed

and this girl you vaguely know, does your wife know her too, if not, you are screwed

go home, pack, call the solicitor, dont ever look back.

Shambles, I can almost hear the trumpets…

The fat lady is clearing her throat as i type… 😈

Did you run into the other car when leaving the secluded car park in the woods? If yes, you may be in trouble. Just a feeling I have.

Good luck!

Classic!

But we need pics to back up your story 😀

Apologies elzorillo but that’s a fantastic tale, really made my day and i’m still chuckling over the seemingly random sequence of events that led up to it 😀

I imagine this’ll be you n’ the wife later

It actually reminds me of one of those Helpful Herbert strips in Viz, where he used to get into the most ridiculously contrived situations that couldn’t look worse while just trying to be entirely helpful.

You didn’t spill the contents of the jug of cream that you were carefully carrying for someone else over your trousers in the crash while your passenger was being stung by a large and angry bee and had removed her top to get rid of it, by any chance?!

As above – classic!

Your wife will have known all about this within minutes of you leaving the accident.

She’ll have thus had all day to build up a head of steam and reach the following conclusion;

1) you didn’t have any work today to start with
2) you only wanted the car to pick up blonde girl

I suspect things won’t go well when you get home 🙁

Make sure that you don’t finish off the day by having a golden retriever appear from out of nowhere and jump up on you before sprinting off, leaving long, curly blond hairs all over your clothes.

😉

Also, check your pockets for used condom wrappers.

This is better than “rate my brickie” – good luck mate. At least you know you are innocent… 😕

OP you should definitely play the Euromillions tonight.

This sounds like the sitcom ‘Oh Crikey!’ from the young ones

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_3UnARrfWU[/video]

😆

Genuine LOL almost became actual ROFL!

So how’s the OP now?

I’m picturing him flat on the floor having been skelped over the back of the head with a heavy pan.. whilst watching that clip (full volume,which attracted the OH to the computer room in the first place)

..and now SHE is reading all this,possibly about to reply any minute now.

So, wonder how he got on?